Meant to Be
by hato-ryou-chan
Summary: Astrid had always wanted to go to Hogwarts and be a part of her dad's old circle not knowing how hard it could be until she met James Potter. Can she give him up now or will she risk everything to keep him? SB/RL mentioned. rating may change.
1. The Beginning

AN: Okeh I know I started a Twilight/Harry Potter fanfic that involved Astrid but that isn't the time she was actually supposed to be in. There are certain things I'm carrying over from that fic and other's that I'm not. For instance, Sirius still is a vampire who can walk in daylight but he doesn't shine like they do in that book. That is because of a potion though. Kind of like wolfsbane for a wolf to help with the transformation, only for vamps to be able to walk in daylight. It's part of a new decree that came with the legalization of Vampire Rights.

Half breed vampires still have the strengths of their undead parents and no sunlight weakness but they grow normally and are largely discriminated against by both the wizarding and vampiric communities. There are only a few half breeds in the world simply because vampires don't have the resolve to not drain their victims. Astrid is basically the same as the other story except her age and when she was made.

Set in Harry's kids' time. I hope you like it.

* * *

><p>The rain came down in soft waves as she looked out the window. There were people out on the streets but she wasn't allowed. It was pouring outside and her dad didn't want her out even in sunny weather. He knew she craved the freedom to be in the open world but it was safer inside. There was a less likely chance of something going wrong or people discovering who she was. Being a halfbreed was never easy but when adding in the genealogy of her family...well things got complicated.<p>

Tap, tap, tap.

"Bum, bum, bum."

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

"Da, da-da, da." Astrid hadn't realized she was spacing out and playing back the tapping she heard. That is until the tapping stopped and the grey outside the window hooted. Her blue eyes widened as the blonde finally noticed what she was staring at. Sitting on the ledge was a barn owl...and it had a letter. That wasn't so out of the ordinary given that it was a wizard's owl but the seal on the letter jumped at her.

"Hogwarts. Oh my god, Daddy! My Hogwarts letter came! It came! It actually came!" The girl's father came in from the study and looked out the window.

"McGonagall must've had your name. Don't leave the owl on the sill, Astrid. Let the poor thing in." As fast as her fingers could, the blue eyed 11-year-old opened the window and took the letter from the owl.

"Thank you so much. I've been waiting forever for this thing! I can go right Daddy? Hogwarts is a safe place."

"Yes it is and yes you can. Just don't tell anyone about your mixed blood. Most won't take kindly to it. Not to say that it's bad but I don't want any added prejudice on you." Astrid nodded quickly. Halfbreeds of any kind were looked down on, even those that came from muggles and witches. The term mudblood had been widened to include all mixed breeds, which burned her to no end. She'd show them mudblood.

"How am I getting to Diagon Alley? You will take me won't you?"

"I'd love to take you but I won't be able to...not without risking running into people I knew. I have to stay out of sight."

"Is that why you won't take the sunlight potion? Because you don't want to go out? Daddy..." The black haired man fluffed his hair in frustration.

"Astrid, you're too little to understand. I'll make sure you get to Diagon Alley and get the things you need. I promise." Sighing the girl rolled her neck but came willing into her father's arms for a hug.

"Ok...but you'll have to come out one of these days. You can't stay locked up in a house in London forever. You have to get out sometime, even if it's only at night."

"I will. Don't worry about me. I'm going to send an owl to McGonagall to see about getting someone to help you with your school things, oh and Astrid. Congratulations on the letter." The blonde grinned and looked down at her letter again. She was going to Hogwarts. Finally, she would be able to get out and see something other then the walls of her home. Now she loved her father very dearly but he had been out of step with time for awhile and it would be hard to adjust to it again. Astrid assumed he didn't want to hurt those he'd left behind by springing back up into their lives. Still, the high-spirited witch wished she could walk into those lives, wished she could be part of the circle her father had been. She wanted the life they should have had...if her cousin hadn't robbed them of it.

* * *

><p>"Hello there, are you Astrid?"<p>

"Yeah, and who are you?" The man in their doorway was clearly wizard, though no one on the street would notice. He was dressed normally but the magic was coming off him in soft waves. He didn't seem threatening but with others she could never be too careful.

"I'm Neville Longbottom. I'm a Professor at Hogwarts. Headmistress McGonagall sent me take you to Diagon to get your things for this year. As I understand it you don't have anyone that can take you?"

"Oh...they sent you? Man, this lady doesn't know what she's got in store for her. Hang on one sec." Astrid raced back inside and up the stairs to her father's room. It was always open to her so she never bothered knocking.

"Hey Daddy, a professor guy is here to take me to Diagon Alley. I'll be back later ok? I'll bring something for you."

"You don't have to do that." Sirius Black was looking out the window. Clouds were as good as night to a vampire...at least this way he could still feel some-what connected to world outside.

"They have a sweets shop. I'll bring back some sweets for you. I could bring that new book that came out about Harry Potter if you like." That got her dad's attention.

"Yeah...that would be lovely Astrid. Thank you. Make sure to get yourself a pet. Owl or cat I don't care which."

"Any breed I choose?"

"No more then 50 galleons."

"Ok, I'll be back soon. Love you!" The blonde was running to her room to get her jacket before racing back downstairs to the man from Hogwarts.

"Are you ready to go?" She nodded, slipping on her boots.

"Yep, just know if you do anything to me my dad will hunt you down, like, no joke."

"Then I have nothing to worry about. Let's go." Neville led her to an area of London she had been to only once and led her through into Diagon Alley. The place was bustling with new and returning students. All Astrid could do was look around in pure joy, trying not to smell all the people. Professor Longbottom smiled at her.

"Yeah, that was my reaction to first seeing Diagon Alley too."

"What first? Oh my god I want one of them!" Her face was almost touching the glass as she looked in at the brooms. Her father wouldn't let her get one this year...hopefully next year.

"First years aren't allowed to have brooms. Gringotts is first."

"Uh, you can't go with me when I do. You aren't allowed." Astrid turned in a snap at the older man. There was no way she was going to let him know that she was getting money from Sirius Black's second vault. He would know and he might snitch.

"You can't go alone."

"Oh please, nothing in Gringotts scares me. No worries old man." She patted his arm as she started to march toward the large marble building that held the wizarding world's money. Maybe Kirken wouldn't allow him. He knew Sirius and knew that her father wanted his privacy. Gringotts was the same as always...well the same as it had been when she'd come here once before. That was five years ago though.

"I need Kirken. Kirken, Kirken, Kirken."

"Why do you need a specific goblin?" Professor Longbottom really kept on top of her didn't he? Maybe he'd had experience with losing things?

"Kirken has our vault key. It's one of the older vaults...one of the oldest vaults. Each of those vaults are held by a goblin and only that goblin can go to the vault. Only those the vault belongs to can go. Get me? Which means you can't go." She located the goblin in charge and requested Kirken. He wasn't too far away. Goblins always could sense the magic.

"Ah, Miss Astrid. Hogwarts letter?"

"Yeppy. I get to go~ I need into the vault and tell him he can't go."

"Miss Astrid is the only one aside from Mr. S and myself that is allowed in the vault." The blonde grinned in triumph. He wouldn't see the vault and wouldn't find out that it was the Black Family Vault...the original family vault. The one that hadn't been used in centuries and one that the Black Family had even forgotten about until Sirius dug it up. The vault was still almost full when he'd gotten to it. Good thing too since Sirius had given Harry everything.

It didn't take long to get the money and she was back again shortly after. At least she could get things she needed now. Cauldron, robes, gloves, wand (10 1/2" African Blackwood with a chimera scale core), and then came the books. There was one she was definitely getting for her father. The newest biography of Harry Potter. There were quite a few biographies on the life of the Chosen One but this was done by someone close to Potter himself.

This one was done by none other then Hermione Granger. She was on a mission to clear up all the details of his life that most other biographies got wrong. She had been with him since his first day on the train to Hogwarts and was there through everything, to the very end and Voldemort's defeat. It was good that someone was actually going to give him the proper light he needed. So many things had been said about the wizard...she hoped this would clear the air on it all.

"Anything else you need before I take you home?"

"Uh, yeah. An owl...or maybe a cat. I'm not sure which." The owl emporium wasn't far away. There were so many different owls and cats...but eventually she went with a beautiful black owl with bright golden eyes.

"You are adorable...I want this one."

"Four galleons and five sickles miss." Astrid quickly brought out the money for it and paid. How lucky!

"Why is it so cheap?" The professor was asking the one question Astrid never would have thought to ask.

"She don't like people. Bites everyone. Her name's Hecate (pronounced H-eh-k-eh-t) kid." Well, that wasn't fair. How was she supposed have a pet that didn't like her? Astrid still came near and found that the man was wrong. Hecate came right to her and perched on her shoulder hooting softly...awww.

"Dude, you're looney. She's sweet."

"You're the first she's come to, too. Good luck with her." Astrid walked out of the store with her new owl in a cage in her hand.

"I guess you're lucky then."

"Guess so. I thought of a cat but Dad hates them. I was told I could get one if I wanted but I like her better anyway. Well, I'm all set, see you at school old man."

* * *

><p>"Make sure you get to King's Cross Station on September first before the train leaves." The wizard handed Astrid her bags at the door and left. How odd. He was a strange man. September first came so slowly for Astrid. She wanted to be out in the world...she wanted Hogwarts.<p>

"Today's the big day. A taxi is taking you to the station and I expect you to go there and follow the rules...at least the ones you've gone by since forever." A grin played across both Sirius and Astrid's faces. She knew he'd been a notorious troublemaker in school and he knew she would follow in that legacy.

"Got it. Get there and on the train before 11am."

"Exactly, and make sure to find good people to sit with. They're usually the ones that end up with you till the end. That and I wouldn't want you to end up making enemies the first day."

"You mean like you did?" The vampire smiled at his daughter and gave her a hug.

"Behave to the best of your ability little one. I have no doubt you will run into trouble but that's in your blood."

"Love you Daddy...I'll send a letter soon." The blonde kissed her father before going off. The taxi was outside, ready to help her get her things to the station...now she just had to get on the train. It was easier said then done since there were so many students but somehow she managed it. Sighing the girl blew her shoulder length chopped up hair out of her face. The 11 year old got her trunk and things onto the train with the help of a red headed man.

"Thanks. I don't understand how they think kids could lift something this heavy. Do they think we're Kryptonian?" The man laughed and shook his head. He understood the reference simply because he had grown to enjoy muggle comic books.

"I highly doubt it though you could pull off a young Kara." Astrid allowed herself a smirk before getting on the train.

"You kidding? I could be Kara." The man seemed really nice and for helping her, she was grateful. Astrid wandered around the train trying to find a spot to sit when she spotted a nearly empty cabin. Only a black haired kid was in it.

"Well hello." It wasn't until she got two steps closer did his smell nearly overwhelm her. She'd been around humans and didn't take blood from them simply because she didn't desire it. They smelled...unappetizing. But this boy certainly drew out her fangs, hardly noticeable but still there.

"Uh, hi. Seat?" The girl moved to the seat and resisted his scent. She hadn't succumbed to blood yet and wouldn't start now.

"Thanks. Everywhere else makes me feel claustrophobic." The boy looked curious.

"You afraid of small spaces?"

"No. Just don't like a lot of people. Most get on my nerves and there are a lot of them out there." Somehow the kid seemed to find that funny.

"You don't seem that way." Astrid couldn't hide her grin.

"Looks are very misleading. I'm trouble, don't let the blonde hair and big blue eyes fool you."

"Not for a second. Just as well, dad says I'm about as much trouble as my grandfather was." That brought a smile to her face. He was easy to talk to. The boy looked somehow familiar too. Had she seen him in Diagon Alley and just not smelled him? It was possible. His scent wasn't strong enough to exude much past his own body. With time the magic would get stronger...and so would his scent. But the young Black was sure she could build up a tolerance of it.

"Maybe we should have a contest to see who can cause the most chaos."

"I'd bet you but you'd lose. My uncle's George Weasley. He'd be more then happy to lend a hand in mischief making."

"Get out, no way. You're related to the guy who owns Weasley Wizard Wheezes!? I love that place! Dad won't let me go there. He says I could find too many things to help in my 'devious' plans. They're not all devious. Some just get away from me." It was just then that another boy entered the cabin. He and two friends of his couldn't have been any older then they were but he certainly acted like it.

"Well, well, well, got a couple losers in here. Do you mind? It's for the elite people." The boy had been only gesturing to the kid across from her but Astrid stood to face the three with annoyance in her eyes.

"You are absolutely right and you happen to be disturbing us so why don't you three just run along to a less exclusive cabin?"

"I wasn't talking to you but if you want to throw yourself in with that rubbish then by all means you can join him in getting tossed out. Now leave, I said it once nicely. I won't be so pleasant a second time." This time the black haired boy stood up.

"And neither will I. You don't own this cabin; we're not going anywhere." Not that she needed the help but it was sweet for the guy to jump in. Still the brunette that had walked in wasn't backing down.

"You don't want to do this Potter. You don't want an enemy out me. And you don't want to hang out with his kind." The name didn't really register to Astrid at that moment. There was a flash of anger in her eyes. What was this guy's problem?

"I'd rather hang out with his kind then an ugly toad like you whose only kicks in life are belittling others and being a total stuck up snob. No thanks. I'd rather keep my dignity." This didn't seem to sit well with the guy, though he left in a huff. The boy next to her grinned.

"Dude, you just told off Damian Zeklos. Nice." The lithe girl grinned and looked at her new found friend. It was only then that the name clicked.

"You're a Potter. Like as in the Oh so famous Harry?"

"Uh yeah, he's my dad. Why?" The guy seemed suspicious of this. He looked like a Potter from what she'd seen of both James and Harry in Sirius' photos...he had blue eyes though. Not the hazel of James, nor the green of Harry.

"I didn't know his kids were old enough to go to Hogwarts is all. I'm Astrid by the way." Her comment eased the distrust in his eyes. The grin that came to his face seemed very natural to his look.

"I'm his oldest. James Sirius Potter at your service." She couldn't help but laugh a little at the slight bow he made. He was a James too...and a Sirius. Whatever Potter had been thinking, it wasn't on namesake. He was just asking for trouble with a name like that for his son. Even though it wasn't long after she met him, Astrid knew that this was what her father had meant. It was the ones you meet on your first day that would stand the test of time. James was someone she'd have with her for a long time to come.

* * *

><p>AN: Okeh that was the end of the first chapter of my new Harry Potter story~ I do want to ask anyone reading this to vote on Astrid's middle name. It is either going to be<p>

Carina

or

Orion

So please review and let me know. I am leaning toward Orion simply because that was the working middle name I had when developing Astrid but Carina is a female name unlike Orion and both are stars in tradition of the Black family names. Also just so you know this is how the exchange rate from wizard to muggle money.

1 bronze Knut = £0.01 (US about 2 cents)

1 silver Sickle = £0.29 (about US$0.57)

1 Galleon = £5.00 (more or less US$9.75)

Got it? Good~ Let me know what you all think! This shall become a very...interesting fic. Mind you it will probably be a bit long but seeing as I haven't gotten all of Astrid's life down it will take some time so please be patient with this story. Review all~


	2. First Year

Disclaimer: I am not JKR and therefore don't own this wonderful world.

First Year

The train pulled in at the station. Astrid was a bundle of nerves with all the students around her. Some smelled stronger then others, although she'd yet to find another scent that would overtake James'. They sat next to each other on the boat ride over, talking the whole way. It seemed like they'd known each other way longer then half a day. James fit so well into her personality that it was...intriguing. The blonde girl didn't know people could be matched like that.

"You know you're probably going to get in trouble for the shoes." James pointed down to her knee high chucks.

"Hey, make me wear a skirt, fine. But no one is making me trade in the most comfortable shoes on the planet. Rules or not." Again, his smile looked so natural. She had to have been quite amusing to him.

"See, and here dad was hoping I'd find a responsible friend to rub off on me." Astrid laughed as they started to dock.

"Good luck. I may be responsible to an extent but not the kind your dad is hoping for." The sorting ceremony came faster then she thought. Headmistress McGonagall was standing with what seemed like a really battered hat that had seen far better days. It was worn and old and even charred from being set on fire.

"James Potter." The boy moved up the steps and to the hat. Astrid wasn't keen on this but she knew people would know her name eventually. The hat took a total of five seconds before placing him in Gryffindor. Cheers erupted from the Gryffindor table as he went to join his new house. More people were sorted after him with Damian Zeklos being a Slytherin. Who didn't see that one coming?

"Astrid Black..." Some of the staff seemed shocked by her name. Why wouldn't they be? The last Black died a good six to seven years before her birth. Still, she moved up to the hat and waited for it to sort her.

"A Black huh? Slytherin family...dark power in you..." the hat could see her mind!?

"No...please." If she were sorted into Slytherin James wouldn't talk to her. The rivalry of those houses were too strong. Her family was a Slytherin family orginally because of their gift...it had been twisted over time but there were still good people in it. Her father was the first Black not to be sorted into Slytherin. Astrid could only hope that it rubbed off on her.

"Your gifts are well suited to Slytherin...but if wish another house, Ravenclaw." Ravenclaw? She escaped the Black legacy of Slytherin like her father had? Yes! The blue eyed girl looked around till she found James' face. He was cheering for her, although she was betting he'd been hoping for Gryffindor.

The sorting continued and all too soon they were feasting and heading off to their dormitories. Ravenclaw dorms were unique in that there was no password, but a riddle. Well that could get tiresome...what if she couldn't figure out the riddle?

"Girls dorms on the left, boys dorms on the right. Your class schedules are upstairs on your trunks. If you have owls they are in the owlery, otherwise your pets are upstairs as well." The dark haired prefect girl showed the girls their dorms. Astrid's bed was near the window thankfully and with her beautiful black owl perched on the sill.

"Aww, Hecate. Aren't you so cute." One of the girls in the dorm sighed as she sat down.

"Hi, I'm Summer."

"Alexis, Lexi for short." The red head in the bed on the left of Asrtid's spoke up.

"I'm Rosemarie and that's Violet." There were a pair of twins in her dorm. At least they were fraternal twins.

"Oh, I'm Astrid." Girl bonding was not something she was used to but the blonde figured she'd give it a shot since she'd be sharing a room with these girls for years to come.

~three weeks later~

"You're brilliant you know that?"

"Yes I do, but thanks for noticing." Astrid grinned at James as they hid around the corner.

"You know when they're passing by?"

"Nope but I know he's heading to the dungeons...there he is. Ready?" Potter threw a Peruvian Instant Darkness powder bag at Damien Zeklos and watched it darken the whole hallway. Astrid darted out from their hiding spot to set off the dungbombs in the hallway. One made a splat followed by a sound of rage.

"Bullseye!" She would have thrown more but James had grabbed her hand and was pulling her back to the hiding place, and through a passageway. Oh, there was a secret route.

"Raines was coming. You know her and detentions."

"Bloody hell, she'll have Zeklos back to normal in no time then." Professor Raines was the potions master and head of Slytherin. It just wasn't right that she always played favoritism. "Where does this corridor go anyway?"

"It heads out to the third floor corridor. From there we can take the passageway up to the fourth floor and then out to the stairs."

"How do you know all of these? You haven't been here even a month yet." James hand was oddly warm and his scent was starting to get to her again. Why couldn't she have just been normal?

"Teddy showed me. He's a third year here and pretty much my cousin. He's the guy with blue hair you see around."

"That's your cousin?"

"Yeah, Teddy's really cool. You want to meet him? He's been dying to meet the girl I've been talking about." James had been talking about her?

"Oh? And what do you talk about?" Her question elicited a slight smirk from James as they entered the third floor corridor.

"Just that you're easy to get along with. You and I work well together and it's never boring with you around, that's for sure." Astrid was happy to know that she was appreciated. He was definitely in the best friend possibility category.

"Uh, Jamie that's Gryffindor Tower. I can't go in there." He'd led her to his dorm...

"Gipipsy. Sure you can As, just step through. After you." The Fat Lady opened the door to the tower as James gestured her inside. The blonde stepped inside but still wasn't sure of what reaction would greet her from the other Gryffindors.

"'Bonjour James. You want to play some chess?...who eez she?" A girl with hair blonder then Astrid's was talking to him...and there was the blue haired boy.

"Hey Victorie. This is Astrid. Astrid, my cousin Victorie and Teddy."

"Ah, the partner in crime." The boy held out his hand to shake Astrid's but when she moved closer his smell hit her. Wolf...and from the look on his face, he could smell the vampiric scent she had. He didn't say anything though. That was nice of him.

"I'm Teddy. James snuck you into the tower I take it?" His eyes were still slightly yellow from the wolf but it was well hidden by the blonde hair...wait, what?

"How'd you do that? You just had blue hair..." Teddy laughed as it changed back to the blue it had been.

"He's a metamorphmagus As." James was grinning as he sat down. He had some interesting family.

"You're his cousin?"

"Not technically. See his dad is my godfather and his grandfather was my dad's best friend growing up. Him and my mom's cousin Sirius."

"Who I'm named after. Sirius was my dad's godfather." Astrid knew about Sirius and Harry. But Sirius' cousin and...who?

"Who's your father?"

"Remus Lupin." Teddy smiled proudly when he spoke his father's name...like he couldn't be prouder to have been his son. Astrid however felt like she'd been slapped. No wonder her father didn't want her around those he'd left behind. She'd find out that the love of his life had gotten together with his cousin...her cousin. Oh, dear lord she was Teddy's cousin!

"Remus? I didn't know he got with anyone...I only know up to Sirius Black's death."

"Huh? How so?" Victorie had bid them goodbye saying she was heading for food. Teddy would've joined her but James' friend had his attention. She smelled of vampires though he could hear her heart beating...and she knew about his father up until Sirius died. From what he'd heard, that had left Remus broken.

"She's a Black Teddy. I don't know if you're related to Sirius or not-"

"I am." Opps...they weren't supposed to know that. "I-I don't know how but my dad said I was. He told me all about Sirius and how he was the only Black to not be in Slytherin and was in the Order and then accused of killing, well, your grandparents. He was innocent though and escaped some years later. He died a few years after that protecting Harry Potter from death eaters...his cousin, Bellatrix. She hit him with a knock-back jinx and he fell through the veil. My dad said Remus had been his friend since year one at Hogwarts. Him and James were his best friends...I know Remus was the one to help Sirius after he escaped...and he was there when Sirius died. Beyond that...I'm clueless." James looked at Astrid dumbfounded while Teddy's jaw nearly hit the floor...double opps. She'd gone rambling again.

"That's a lot of info for a girl who doesn't know how she's related to Sirius."

"Well I've had other sources of information over the years. Most the people around me were close to Sirius at one point in time or another. I just didn't know Remus had a kid is all..." That would explain the wolf. Remus was a werewolf. But if Teddy was a metamorphmagus he'd had to inherit it most likely.

"Tonks. Nymphadora is your mom. She's, uh...Andromeda's daughter! Sirius's cousin. One of them at least. She was a metamorphmagus like you."

"Yeah, that's my mom. I live with my grandma...you aren't as unknowing as you claim to be." Teddy was still a bit suspicious of her but James didn't seem to mind the information overload.

"Just means she does her homework."

"I grew up on stories of Sirius Black and the marauders. I could probably tell you tales that not even Harry Potter knows." Now that had James' immediate attention. Funny how anything to do with the marauders peaked his interest instantly.

"Really? Like what?"

"Well, hmm...in his 6th year Sirius did everything he could to get Remus to forgive him for a really bad prank he pulled...it didn't work either. He eventually kinda gave up. James was the first one to talk to him again after what happened the year before. He said that though he could be ticked all to hell at Sirius, he could never hate him. I don't know what happened between that and Remus forgiving him but Sirius got really bad toward the last of it. He was almost admitted to St Mungo's. Whether anyone knew it or not...I think he needed them more then he'd ever say. James' death hit him hard..."

Astrid was remembering how her father would talk about his best friend and how when she was younger James would tell her about the one time in his life her father refused to talk about. Azkaban was horrible for him...but regardless if he knew it or not, James had been there with him through it all.

"At least he found a bit of happiness at the end."

"What are you doing in here? This is Gryffindor Tower! Ravenclaws aren't allowed!" Jane Tyler. That was one Gryffindor she didn't like. The girl was a stuck up know it all that didn't like her because of how much she hung around James. Why would the girl care anyway?

"That's my cue to leave. I'll see ya Jamie. It was really nice to meet you Teddy. Bye." Astrid got up, glaring at the girl as she headed toward the portrait hole.

"Since when do you listen to people As?" James was leaning back in his chair looking at his friend.

"Since it could get me a month of detentions. I'm sorry but chilling in the Gryff common room isn't worth that." With that she left, leaving Teddy and James to watch her go.

Things between Astrid and James only got better from there. They were best of friends and notorious as trouble makers by the end of the year. McGonagall had said there were only four people she knew of in Hogwarts' history to have matched their mischief making, three of which were dead. Not that it had any correlation to their troublesome ways. They had met the former headmasters of Hogwarts the weekend after Halloween. Severus Snape was sitting above the mantle looking down with a slight frown. His only response to them was 'of course it'd be a Potter.' The one before him had more to say though.

"Ah, that brings me back. Always a pair, sometimes there's a third but those that cause trouble are always a pair. Oh and you're a Potter too. James, Harry and who might you be?" The old portrait of Albus Dumbledore was staring at them with twinkling eyes. Go figure. James snickered as he looked at the two.

"Oh Merlin. Would you look at that. It's my brother!" The young Potter was laughing but no one else understood the joke. Astrid's confused stare got him to explain.

"My dad named me after his dad and godfather, hence, James Sirius. My baby sister was named after my grandmother and my parents' good friend. Lily Luna. But my brother...My dad said he named him for two great headmasters of Hogwarts. Albus Severus. I dare you to ever call him that though. He prefers Al. It's fun to watch my brother get all huffy about full naming him. It's hilarious." James shook his head at the small joke he'd made. Looking back up at the portraits he found that Snape was looking at him in shock, having known Harry all his youth.

"You have a brother named Albus Severus?"

"Well yeah. You two are two of the bravest men my dad ever knew. Both of you gave up your lives to protect the innocent...no way better personally."

"And you're another James Potter?"

"James Sirius, not James Harry. Though it would've been the best to have met him." Severus frowned at the thought but Dumbledore's eyes brightened as he stared at Astrid.

"Nothing is impossible if you believe it can happen."

"Pretty sure it won't Dumbledore. I mean, granddad's dead. No coming back from that. Ghosts and portraits excluded. They don't count, no offense." The old headmaster simply nodded and looked knowingly at Astrid as McGonagall came out to deal them their punishment. Their talks were the first of many seeing as they were constantly in trouble. The last time of the year had the two headmasters bidding Astrid and James a good summer.

The train ride home was spent playing exploding snap and eating chocolate frogs. From James point of view he thought it was atrocious that Astrid hadn't started a collection yet and had asked point blank if she was sure she was from a wizarding family.

"Oh I'm sure. No denying my roots. Even if they are Black. What about you Mr. Potter? Would you deny your roots?"

"Not on your life! I love my family, even if we are an unusually large clan of wizards. Maybe you could come over sometime this summer and see what I mean?" Astrid looked at Teddy to confirm the largeness of her best friend's family. He simply nodded to her. Oh boy.

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe...I-I don't really do well with big families. Mine is plenty. Not that it's big but I have so many people around that adding too many more would probably overload me. I'd say something or do something and then your parents would hate me or disapprove of me. I'm lucky to find two people that don't annoy me at all hours of the day. My dorm mates are dead lucky I haven't looked up a silencing charm to shut them up." The blonde's fire and agitation toward other people was flaring up again. James for one knew that it was best to let her vent. It had taken him a better part of the year to figure that one out too.

"Well owl me to let me know. I'm sure dad won't mind." Astrid nodded though she knew that it wouldn't happen. There was no way she'd be allowed to go anyway. Oh well, she could always owl him. When Astrid wasn't allowed to go see James over the summer she took to a quill and sent it with a package of chocolate frogs. Their letters back and forth made the summer go pleasantly fast and then they were in Diagon Alley...or she was. With Merrik.

"I can't believe Dad made you come with me." The newly turned second year wasn't all too happy. She had been stuck with Merrik for a babysitter. Freaking blabber-mouth Merrik.

"Astrid you had to have someone with you. I was the best choice given the circumstances and your new boys and all."

"They aren't mine. Teddy and James are just friends." She was getting tired of this argument with her family. No one was really happy with her being their friends. Her father found it amusing that she had zeroed in on the only two in Hogwarts that were descendants of his circle of friends. But that didn't mean he was happy about it. Sirius had wanted to keep his daughter out of that circle because of the damage it could do to it. He wanted to save Harry from that torment of knowledge.

"Rawr!" All of a sudden Astrid found herself being twirled around by an unknown force. Merrik seemed surprised by whoever it was that grabbed her but she knew who it was by the time she stopped spinning.

"Hey kiddo, what are you doing?"

"Hey Teddy~ I'm here with Merrik to get my school things. Who you here with?"

"James and his family. Come on. Nice to meet you Merrik."

"Nice to meet you too pup. Really Astrid you find the people that are toxic to you." The blonde scowled as she hugged Teddy.

"Merrik. I'm warning you."

"I know I know. No spilling the beans of life I got it. Can we get your things and go then because these people...mmm...I might very well stray." Merrik was looking at people like they were appetizers. Astrid just sighed and followed Teddy as he led her to James' family.

"Be nice. Or I'm telling father and then you won't be allowed out anymore."

"And who would go with you then hmm? Gretchen? Adam? Oh or my favorite, Valerie." Merrick grinned widely at the visible cringe Astrid had.

"Valerie will never come with me...what?" Teddy was giving her a funny look.

"You are so weird. After you." The Ravenclaw shrugged and walked into the bookstore with Merrick right behind her.

"I was born that way, can't change who I am now...don't think I could if I tried." Her babysitter for the day snorted.

"You tried that already when you were six remember? That didn't end well."

"I was six! And you could have stopped me Merrick."

"And miss that train wreck? Not a chance. Nothing exciting ever happened till you popped up. Oh wow that's a lot of red..." Teddy had led them right to James who was standing with his family. Astrid had been unaware that meant the whole family. They hadn't been lying; his family was ridiculously big.

"Oh sweet Merlin..."

"ASTRID!" Merrick tensed from behind her as a dark haired boy all but tackled her.

"Hey Jamie~ Please tell me that all of them aren't yours."

"Yep." James was beaming at Astrid. He seemed so proud to have a huge family.

"Don't worry little one, I'll keep you in check. Just keep me in check too." Merrick was holding onto her shoulders as he gazed at the hoard of red hair.

"I want you to meet my little brother Albus. He's coming to Hogwarts this year. If he ends up in Slytherin I'm never speaking to him again but we can always prank him. Al, this is the most awesome girl ever."

"I'm not awesomest anymore Jamie?" A little red headed girl came up to hug onto James.

"You will always be the awesomest Lils. But Astrid is a different kind of awesome. She's the awesomest in a different way."

"Oh...well that's okeh then. Hi, I'm Lily!" The girl held out her hand to Astrid, who took it without really knowing what else to do.

"Hi Lily, hi Albus. I'm Astrid."

"Oh you're Astrid." Both of James' siblings had a look of instant recognition.

"You talk about me?" The blonde was looking at her best friend as Merrick snatched her book list to go get the items. He wanted to get away from the living as soon as possible. His control was slipping and Astrid was getting distracted.

"Only all the time." Lilly spoke before her brother could.

"All my stories about school have you in them so yeah I guess I do talk about you a lot." James had the sense to look embarassed at being outed by his sister but Astrid just grinned.

"I do too. My dad laughed after about the third story. He asked if I had any other friends..."

"You've got Teddy."

"That's what I said." The pair laughed and finished getting their items. Astrid managed to avoid the rest of James' extended family and his parents but promised to meet them another time. When they finally made it home they found Sirius sitting in the window seat.

"Don't ever send me out with her again. There's so many...such delicious...I'm going downstairs." The tall boy dropped the second year's things down and headed into a doorway at the end of the foyer. Sirius raised an eyebrow at his daughter.

"Hey, don't blame me. You sent him."

"Because you can't go on your own and I can't go with you. Believe me I would love to share that with you but you know why I can't." Astrid moved into her father's lap and curled up.

"I know daddy. I just wish it was different. That it wasn't so hard." A groaning sound made the pair look up to the doorway where Merrick had disappeared. Standing in front of them was a tired looking man rubbing his eyes.

"I am so done with looking at screens. Hey cub, you get everything you need?" Astrid nodded and readjusted as he sat down on the window seat with her and Sirius.

"Teddy is doing well. Merrick met him today." The man tensed. Teddy was still an eggshell topic.

"Oh? And how did that go?"

"Amazingly well. Merrick didn't even try to nip at him. Though I think it's because Teddy caught him off guard. Merrick isn't used to pulses."

"No. I suppose not. Yours is the only one around here."

"Yeah well I can't help that. You two had to go and procreate." Sirius smirked as his daughter got up and grabbed a bag from her things.

"Here's the potion ingredients you wanted. What are they for exactly?" The sandy haired undead man spoke without looking up from the bag.

"A binding potion. It's so you don't go popping things up where they don't belong cub." Astrid's eyes widened.

"I can do that!? In Hogwarts? But you said it's safe dad! I couldn't do that through the wards could I? What about all the students? What about Jamie? And Teddy? James' little brother is coming to Hogwarts this year. I don't want to hurt him. He looked so little and yummy." Both men stopped when she trailed off.

"Yummy? He smells yummy to you Astrid?" Sirius really didn't like the sound of that.

"Well...yeah. James' smells so good all the time and his little brother smells a lot like him. Kind of like you and uncle Regulus daddy. I won't hurt him if that's what you're thinking. I know better...but I don't want to go raising things. I get so frustrated with everyone there that-"

"The potion is a precaution little one. We don't think you can punch through Hogwarts' wards but just in case we're making the potion anyway. Merlin Remus did you have to scare the poor girl so bad? The hounds are agitated down there now." The second year turned around to look at her best friends' name sake. James Potter was standing in the doorway to the basement complex. Sometimes it hurt her brain to wrap her head around the magic it took to make.

"Well that's a relief. So no going and corpsifying friends for me then?" Sirius let out a bark like laugh as James chuckled.

"No and preferably not on my grandchildren if you please. Now come on, Lily is waiting to do some tests to check you're necra levels. Off you get and don't go raising anything either kid! We have enough corpses to watch without them moving about all willy-nilly." The blonde nodded and walked downstairs into the home she had known most her life. Instantly the voices picked up and without a thought in the world she started talking back to the unheard whispers made by unseen people as she made her way to the lab Lily Potter was waiting in.

Okeh, I get that many of you probably have no idea what that was about but I assure you it is necissary. If you're confused about the dialog earlier then let me clarify. Astrid calls Remus dad and Sirius daddy. Just something she does, don't judge. All the people living in the house and it's underground are dead, minus Astrid of course. I'll explain it in later chapters. It's a plot point later so you shall have to stay a tad lost there.

And if you want a good thought visual of the house's basement underground complex thing, think like a research facility...cause that's what it was. Slight spoiler but hey, it helps. Glass windows showing into rooms along hallways and large steel doors. Medical equipment in the labs with operating tables in them. (not that they operate on anything) a security center...that kind of stuff.

Anyway R&R. This chapter isn't really my best but I had to find a way to connect plot points that span different years of their lives. It's all jumbled up in my head right now.


	3. Second Year

Disclaimer: I own Astrid...sadly nothing else.

An: So I finally got a third chapter on this written up! Neat right?...well I think it's neat. I'll try to write more on this soon but I still have my Immortal Children to finish. Anyway, if you get confused just review and let me know and I'll try to clear any confusion up or let you know why I'm keeping you in the dark. Enjoy~

Second Year

Astrid had been allowed to go to Platform Nine and Three Quarters by herself only because it had been James who drove her. He told her to make lots of mischief and prank some Slytherins. She had laughed and agreed. James trusted her to make it on her own even if he worried about her. That's how she had ended up without help on the platform again. She had another red head helping her only this time he was a student instead of a parent.

"Thank you. I really need to hire some muscle to do that for me." She turned around to a creamy tan face with warm blue eyes.

"Well if you're paying then I don't mind." His laugh was easy and she felt like she'd seen him before somewhere. He was a Gryffindor so it was possible.

"How about I buy you something from the trolley for the help then?"

"Nah, you don't have to. I just couldn't stop myself from helping a damsel in distress." The boy was still grinning. He was older then her, maybe around Teddy's age. Astrid couldn't fathom why but this boy didn't annoy her. Most students she tolerated on some level but she was surprisingly at ease.

"I'm no damsel, promise. I'm more of a...rogue, then a damsel."

"You're Astrid aren't you?" The lithe girl turned to look at the boy in shock and then shrugged.

"Only on days that end in a 'y'. Though I'm trying to get Sunday changed to 'Tomorrow' that way I can be someone else Tomorrow and Astrid the other six days. So then I could cause all sorts of mayhem and when the teachers ask about it I'd be able to say 'no ma'am I did not do that. Tilly-dandy did'." Fred laughed and took that for a yes.

"Teddy said you had gumption but he never said you were so whimsical. No wonder James found you. Dear cousin never stood a chance. I'm Fred by the way. I'm a year above you and Jimmy-Jam. Don't ever let him know I called him that. Anyway, m'lady, may I escort you to your compartment and take up residence there as well?" Fred bowed to her and Astrid laughed.

"And Teddy thinks I'm weird? Did you just walk out of the 16th century or something? Come on Red. I kinda like you. Let's see if we can track down your dear cousin then shall we?" Fred was easy to slip into a comfortable conversation with. Astrid wondered if maybe she just wasn't meeting the right kind of people before.

"Ah, I hear the laughter of our prey. Huzzah! I was right." Fred jumped into the compartment with his fist in the air. Astrid followed behind giggling like mad.

"Oh so you're a pirate now huh? Come to steal my treasure matey?"

"Yes! I shall steal it all away and leave you on a little island with no means of escape" James and Teddy were watching on in amusement as Albus shook his head. Fred was always doing such antics.

"Oh but you have yet to see the dragon that guards my treasure! He shall eat you up before you can get a single galleon my friend."

"Like your dragon could defeat the likes of me!" Fred was brandishing an imaginary sword at Astrid, who was standing with a foot on a cushion from each side of the compartment. Her face grew suddenly serious, speaking with utter certainty.

"Oh yes he would, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." Fred stopped for a moment and then dropped character as he laughed. The red head flopped down in between the Potter brothers and wrapped an arm around James.

"Oh I like her Jamie. She's so feisty." The blue-eyed boy grinned.

"Yeah, you should see her in 'mischief mode'. It's awesome." The five of them were shortly joined by a red haired girl who Astrid found out to be another first year, Rose. She was James', Albus' and Fred's cousin. She remembered the sea of red hair and wondered how many more were going to suddenly start popping up. Luckily only one more stayed. Victorie stopped in after she had said hi to her friends. Astrid was finding that James' huge family wasn't so bad. At least not the one's she'd met so far. James and Fred were playing a game of chess while Albus and Astrid watched. Teddy was talking to Rose about Hogwarts when a growl interrupted them.

"Was that your stomach Al?" The younger Potter blushed a little and nodded.

"I didn't really eat breakfast. Too excited." The trolley had already come by but Astrid knew she could track it down and besides, she needed more Drooble's Best Blowing Gum.

"Come on then little firstie. Let's go hunt down the trolley lady and fill your belly with sugary goodness." Astrid held out a hand to the 11 year old. Albus looked at his brother in disbelief.

"Is she serious?"

"You have no idea. Go on Al. And get me some liquorice wands and a couple chocolate frogs." James held out a some galleons to his brother. Fred looked up from moving a chess piece and handed over a couple sickles as well.

"Two cauldron cakes please."

"I want some Bertie Botts and Rose wants chocolate frogs too. Thank you mei-mei." Astrid took the money from Teddy with a roll of her eyes.

"We'll be back. Oh come on mini Potter, I won't bite."

"Often..."

"James shut your face! I don't want him scared of me. Merlin you'd think he's being fed to grindylows." Albus wasn't scared by any means. The girl in front of him was just so beyond his realm of normal that he wasn't sure about her yet. But his brother thought she was amazing so...he was going to try.

"Well if we're going for food then let's go. I really am starved." The green-eyed boy pushed her out of the compartment and shut the door.

"You really that hungry? We can go get actual food if you want. I wouldn't want you starving." Astrid offered as they headed down the hallway.

"No that's alright. Thanks for volunteering to go to the trolley though."

"I needed more gum anyway. Besides, despite how I may come off to other people, James and Teddy are important to me. They're the only people I got really and I don't want to give any reason for them to not want me around you know?" The pair found the trolley cart and a boy with fair, blonde hair buying sweets...and a Slytherin she knew quite well.

"Well, well, look at that. Zeklos finally crawled out of his hole." Both boys looked up at her and glanced at Albus for a second.

"Who's this Black? Potter's mini-clone?"

"Hardly. A clone would've attacked you by now Zeklos. We would've programmed it to maim you." Astrid crossed her arms and took on a bored stance. The blonde boy however didn't seem as off-put as his Slytherin buddy. He held out a hand to Albus.

"I'm Scorpius. Don't mind Damian, he's never liked her if she's who I heard about."

"That seems to be the popular consensus with Slytherins so I hear. I'm Albus." Astrid watched the interaction with mild interest.

"You're a Malfoy right?" The blonde boy looked up at her with the dignified air that was perfected by pureblood families.

"Yes, of course I am. What does it matter to you?" She shrugged and held out her own hand to Scorpius.

"It doesn't. Just checking. I'm Astrid in case you weren't sure. We're cousins I do believe."

"Crazy doesn't run in his family Black." Scorpius turned to look at Damian with a glare.

"My grandmother was born a Black thank you."

"And in case you haven't looked at that family tree, crazy does run rampant there. It's like the signature of a Black. But you know all about how crazy I can get...don't you Zeklos?" Damian's face darkened and he took a step toward Astrid.

"Do you want to go there Black? You don't have your little Gryffindor scum here to protect you."

"Damian I don't think she needs protecting. She's a Black. And if it's a Black related to me then I really wouldn't want to cross her. Vicious really when they want to be. Even if she isn't a Slytherin, I wouldn't. Besides she has said Gryffindor's brother right there. Let's just go. It's nice to meet you, Astrid. Albus." Scorpius nudged his partner to leave as he nodded to the pair.

"Likewise Scorpy. Ta ta, Zeklos." Albus shook his head at Astrid as she moved to get the snacks from the cart.

"You are weird."

"I prefer the term whimsical. Come on. Let's get back before Teddy assumes I've absconded with you, ne'er to return, and hunts us down like an angry fire ant." The younger Potter cracked a smile as they started to head back with the sweets.

"He does do a good impression of one doesn't he? I always thought of him more as a bloodhound sniffing out a fox." The pair laughed a bit at Teddy's apparent one track mind when it came to tracking people down.

"I think it's the wolf in him." Albus furrowed his brows.

"He doesn't have one. Teddy's clean of the lycanthrope virus. His parents had him checked out at some place in Rome." Astrid nodded.

"The LRFR. Yeah, they offer to test people that may have been exposed to the virus but Teddy wasn't exposed to it...he was born with it. So it may just be sitting dormant in his body. Born wolves are different from made wolves. There's an incubation period for the virus to mature. At least that's what dad says. He's been studying the virus since before I was born." The Ravenclaw didn't even notice how much she had given away about her family and didn't have a moment to realize it either since they were back to their compartment. Albus was a tad worried about the girl his brother had with him constantly. She didn't seem quite right. Then again from what Aunt Hermione had said, Luna wasn't all together either in school and she turned out amazing. He would give her a chance but he'd keep an eye on her all the same.

James won the chess match but then lost when he went up against Astrid. The train ride from there was rather uneventful. And then they parted with Albus and Rose to send them to the boats. Fred and Teddy headed to the carriages with Astrid and James. Victorie had been dragged off by her friends to their carriage.

"I hear you two are dating now." Teddy turned quickly to Fred.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Oh, just around. Are you?" James and Astrid looked over at the older Gryffindor in interest. He felt like he was being interrogated all of a sudden.

"Maybe...why do you care Fred?"

"Oh, no reason. Just wanting to make you squirm. Come on, let's get a ride." Fred hopped up into a carriage followed by James. Teddy moved to help Astrid up but saw her looking at the front of the carriage. He didn't see anything there but knew from Harry that Threstals pulled the carriages up to Hogwarts...and only those that had seen death could see them.

"Who was it?" His voice startled her out of her trance.

"Huh?"

"Who was it? The person you saw die...if it's not too personal." Astrid shook her head.

"Not just one. So many...all at once. Choking and gasping. Screaming so loud and not even making a sound. Their eyes so wide and blind but they see you. They see me. Always so loud...never quiet. Never sleeping...never quite dead..." Her eyes had unfocused again as she talked but snapped back to Teddy after a moment.

"Mei-mei you ok? You're acting stranger then usual." The Gryffindor's hair went a deep brown in his worry. It was weird to see her this out of it. He knew she struggled to stay grounded but he didn't know it could get like that.

"Yeah, fine. Just really weird skeleton horses pulling the carriages. No wonder people think I'm crazy." She hopped up and sat down next to James as he chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Well you are crazy. Just not as crazy as everyone thinks."

"Or maybe I'm more crazy then anyone could guess and I just keep it hidden so I don't frighten the impressionable masses." She was back to her normal self but Teddy could see the slight manic look in her eyes and was sure it was pure panic. There was something Astrid was hiding and Teddy felt the overwhelming feeling that it would pull them in. His concern though was that it would drown the petite girl before anyone would even realize something was wrong.

~~~

"James...why is your friend in the Gryffindor common room?" Rose had leaned over to whisper to Teddy. Astrid was currently sitting on the couch with James talking about their schedules and the opportunity to try for the Quidditch teams. Both Astrid wanted to try for chaser or possibly beater and James wanted to be seeker or maybe a chaser like his grandfather had been. Teddy looked up from his book.

"James brought her up."

"Yeah, but why...I didn't think other houses were allowed in common rooms." Teddy smirked at her.

"They aren't."

"But then-"

"Astrid doesn't really follow rules much and James is inclined to agree with her on that most times. James brings Astrid in here all the time." The 14 year old turned to go back to his book but Rose interrupted again.

"Does he ever go to her common room?" Teddy thought for a moment before looking at her with a look of mild realization.

"I don't think he has. But then again Astrid says our common room is more lively. As she puts it Ravenclaws are usually quiet people and too much quiet is deafening. Gryffindors are loud and boisterous. She says with so much noise in here that it's blissfully silent." Rose looked at him like he had grown two heads and and said his name was Natasha.

"You know that makes no sense."

"I know. But it's what she says and I can understand to a point. Especially with our family. You grow used to the noise and without it, it's a resounding silence. And she did say her family was big enough so it's possible the noise of people is calming to her. You just have to learn Astrid. She's different from most people. Kind of like Luna. Follows her own beat, you know? Don't worry Rose, you'll learn eventually if you spend enough time around her." With that their conversation dropped.

~~~

It was near Christmas when Rose finally got used to Astrid. She just accepted that she would never really understand her and after that she was ok with the blonde. Albus had gotten used to her too and discovered she wasn't so bad. Odd but no dangerous. Unless you were a Slytherin of course. Astrid had somehow gotten to know Scorpius. He was amused by her and found that she was quite the Slytherin inside. It was his being around Astrid that lead him to meeting Albus and becoming friends. It was a shock to the school that is for sure.

Astrid was delighted to find a few more people that didn't annoy her. Perhaps she had been right and just wasn't meeting the right kind of people. At least she wasn't alone anymore...or so she thought. Christmas was right around the corner and the holidays were upon them. Astrid found out that everyone was going home for the hols. James' family was having a big get-together and Teddy was attending. She had been invited but that sea of red hair was still very much on her mind. So she declined going. But then she found out that Scorpius was going to France with his family for Christmas. Plus all her dorm mates were leaving to go home. Even though she wasn't that close to them, they would have at least kept her company.

The 13 year old put on a brave face and bid them all a Happy Christmas as they boarded the train. Then she was alone.

Just her and the endless white noise. There was just so much. It was probably better around here before the Battle of Hogwarts but she couldn't be sure. Astrid did her best to ignore the roaring sound of faceless unseen voices as she made her way back to the castle. It gave her a headache so she simply went to bed.

That was not the thing to do.

The moment her eyes opened, Astrid knew she wasn't awake. The place she was in was too dark, too menacing. She would not have gone to this place of her own volition. Yet, here she was, standing at a reception desk. Why was there a reception desk? It wasn't like this place got visitors...unless you counted her.

"There you are, we've been waiting." The blonde girl turned quickly to see a boy standing in front of her. He couldn't have been more then 24 with short brown hair and golden eyes. He was smiling at her but it didn't put her quite at ease. He looked familiar, like she had seen him before and just couldn't remember.

"Who are you? Why am I here?"

"You are here to observe and to help. We've been waiting a long time for you peu vie jeune fille morte." Astrid took a step back. What did he just call her!?

"I-I'm not. I don't-"

"Calm down little one. I won't hurt you. There are none here that will. Please, just follow me." With that the boy took her hand and started to lead her into the dark maze of glass and stone.

"What is this place?"

"It is like your home...only this is one that was...terminated. When they shut the facilities down they left those still here to die. Didn't expect us to change I suppose, no one knows we're still here. We've been waiting for you to come help us. There aren't many here but I promise you little one, we are worth freeing." As he walked her deeper into the complex she noticed they were no longer alone. Others had joined them and were following them. They looked hungry or angry. Probably both if she was honest with herself.

"This was a containment unit, wasn't it?" The building was too similar to the one below her house. Astrid knew if she took a left and went down two flights of stairs and then took the passageway to the right and then went back up those stairs she would find the hospital area and the hallway behind her had a set of stairs at the end of it that would take her up to the security center for this place. It was a different building but she knew it inside and out all the same. The boy chuckled at her.

"It wasn't just any containment facility Cub. This was the MSLCF. The Maximum Security Lycan Containment Facility. You are standing in the very heart of the worst case, most violent, and uncontrollable werewolves." He wasn't lying either. The wolves that had been slowly joining them now had her surrounded. They looked menacing and even more distorted with anger now that she knew what they were. These were the wolves that were essentially on 'death row'. They just hadn't been executed because they had family out in the world somewhere that had wanted them alive and these wolves had been minors when they were put in. That was the only logical explanation for them to still be alive...or were they?

"Why am I here?"

"I told you peu vie jeune fille morte. You are here to observe and to help."

"But why!? You're bad! You would've had to have done something completely and utterly unforgivable to be put here! Why would I help you?" At this the boy stopped smiling. His arms crossed in front of his chest and the other wolves followed suit. This boy, whoever he was, was the alpha.

"It's what you were born to do. You need us whether you know it or not little cub. You will see soon enough. The time is coming for you to help us. It is the only way we can help you. Don't you feel it? You are so close to the brink and yet you can't sense it?"

"Maybe we should push her over the brink. Make her like us."

"Yeah, shove her off the overlook into the cafeteria."

"Or snap her neck!"

"Tear up that pretty skin till she bleeds out!" The wolves around them were starting to get excited over the prospect of her demise. It made Astrid both afraid and angry. She wouldn't go down without a fight, that's for sure. They started to close in on her when a commanding voice surrounded them.

"ENOUGH!"

"Darn right it is." Astrid weaved through the pack while they were distracted and took off away from the pack of murderous wolves, running toward the exit. In her home it would lead upstairs to her house but here, it was the reception area where she had started. There was yelling behind her and she knew the wolves were closing in.

"No! Astrid stop!" The alpha wolf was calling to her. He knew her name...she got to reception and turned around to find all the wolves there again, the alpha in front. The look in his eyes almost made her stay. He looked sad and terrified. He was counting on her, believing she could help him in some way. She didn't know what way that was but she wasn't about to find out.

"No, please!" With one last look at the boy she ran up the stairs at the reception area and woke up screaming.

~~~

Every time she went to sleep she was back in that place. Astrid couldn't stop herself from being there and each time she woke up screaming when she ran back up stairs. She had successfully managed to stay away from the wolves in that place but it resulted in very little sleep. Each time she appeared in the complex it was at reception. And each time the alpha wolf was standing there to greet her. He kept trying to get her to stay and just hear him out but the thought of his pack kept her from ever staying more then a few seconds.

This resulted in very little sleep and by Christmas she was at her wits end. Astrid finally broke down and went to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey didn't question her too much and gave her some dreamless sleep potion.

It helped...sort of. She didn't go to that place but it still didn't feel like she had rested any. Astrid didn't dream but she heard voices all the time. The white noise was louder in her sleep. So she tried not sleeping. Doing everything from reading books to running around the castle to sitting up in the Astronomy tower without a coat on. The last one resulted in a cold. She was walking around the castle, debating on going back up to the Astronomy tower when she ran into someone and fell down.

"Merlin As, you alright?" She recognized the voice a second before his scent filled her nose. James. Looking up at the person that was currently picking her up off the floor confirmed her thought.

"James! Oh thank the heavens." He laughed as she hugged him tight but pulled back to look at her, concern written all over his face. She vaguely noted there was a present in his hands.

"You ok? You look dead on your feet."

"I just about am...haven't been sleeping. Nightmares." James nodded a little and then started pulling her toward his common room.

"Come on, you need sleep. I can watch you die of happiness from opening my present later. You'll die from lack of sleep first if you don't get some rest." Astrid didn't protest until James made to go up to his dorm room with her in tow.

"Jamie I can't go up there! We aren't supposed to be up there!" James was still pulling her up the stairs though despite her struggling.

"You need sleep As and if we went to your common room and your dorm the stairs would turn into a slide. You, however, can come up here, so we're going to take a nap and then you can open your present. No ifs, ands, or buts. Now, lay down...you really do look like awful." James laid down on his bed and pulled her onto it with him. It was awkward for a moment but then his smell surrounded her and Astrid relaxed into it. The white noise slowly drifted away and without knowing it, she fell asleep.

It wasn't until she heard people talking that she woke up. It was still light outside but the curtains on the bed had been drawn. It took her a moment to figure out why the curtains were red instead of blue. But then she realized the voices belonged to James and his dorm mate Lucas.

"Well I'm headed down to breakfast. See you later." The door closed letting her know Lucas had left and a second later James pulled the curtain back to climb into bed.

"Did he say breakfast?" The Gryffindor boy was in his pajamas. How long had she been up here?

"Yeah, you kind of sleep like a coma patient. You've been out since yesterday afternoon. It's 10 now."

"I stayed the night up here!? Jamie why didn't you wake me?" Astrid pulled the covers off of her and started to stand up.

"Because you looked so tired As. I couldn't wake you up when you looked so at ease. And you weren't having a nightmare so I just let you sleep. Though I did scoot you over a little cause I had to sleep too eventually." She stopped in her tracks. He was right. She hadn't had a nightmare. No creepy complex or killer wolves. No white noise voices...quiet. It was blissful peaceful sleep. She couldn't remember the last time that had happened.

"No nightmares...huh."

"You mad I didn't wake you?" James had the present in his hands again. Astrid moved back to the bed and sat down next to him.

"No, I suppose not. I've just never shared a bed with a boy before. Unless you count my parents but that's different. Thank you, I really did need the sleep." James grinned as she hugged him and handed her the present.

"I got you something. You didn't tell me you had gotten me that broom care set. I can really use it now that I'm on the team. Gryffindor's going to win with me as seeker." Astrid had given Teddy her presents for everyone before they left. She knew he'd make sure they weren't opened till Christmas. She hoped he was enjoying the book on werewolf legends. Her fingers tore into the paper at his prompting, revealing a box.

"The sweater is from my grandmother. I asked her to make you one...though Teddy said the red A was a little 'scandalous' so grandma changed it to blue. And you said you liked muggle books so I got you Grims fairy tales since you're into that kind of stuff." James got a second hug that day.

"Thank you. This is awesome. And the red A is from the scarlet letter. I'm glad she changed it to blue." Astrid picked up the sweater and slipped it on before picking up the book.

"Want to hear some?" The boy nodded and laid back down on the bed, scooting over for Astrid to join him. She sat up with her back against the headboard and started to read.

~~~

Astrid found herself sleeping in James's bed next to him quite a bit the rest of the year. It wasn't anything bad but when she went to her own bed the dream would start up again and the voices. His bed was a safe haven for her and a place where she could rest and feel protected. Teddy caught on quick but once he found out why he agreed to stay quiet on the condition that sleeping was all it was. Both James and Astrid made a face at that, which confirmed for him that they weren't doing anything like that.

The blonde had no idea what she was going to do the coming summer. Maybe her dad could help with it. She made sure to give Teddy and James hugs before they left and even gave Albus a hug. Rose was just fine with a wave goodbye.

"I'll owl you soon As. Maybe you can visit this summer!" Astrid watched them leave before linking arms with Scorpius.

"So how'd Damian take having rainbow hair?" The Slytherin shook his head smiling a little.

"Not well. Said he was going get you next year."

"Oh I don't doubt he'll try. I'll be sure to disappoint him." They were near Scorpius' parents when she spotted Gretchen waiting for her.

"Have a good summer cuz. I'll see you in September, yeah?"

"Absolutely. Have a good summer Astrid." Scorpius hugged her and made his way to his parents as she turned to the curly haired brunette.

"He looks nice."

"Who Scorpius? He's cool. Come on, let's get home." Gretchen fell into line with Astrid, pushing her trunk toward the exit.

"Your father won't be too pleased to know about it."

"I know...he never is."

* * *

><p>Ok, so I get I'm having kids use big words but that's because I was using these words at that age so I really don't see a problem with it. Also I didn't translate that French because it's a bit of a plot point later but you can look it up if you really want to. Let me know what you think of this chapter and if you have any thoughts on it. Reviews are always appreciated~<p> 


	4. Second Year Summer

Disclaimer: This girl sadly does not own HP. Don't rub it in.

So hi there all~ I'm uploading this story a little faster now that I've been inspired and am kind of getting to where my plot points are. I hope I don't disappoint with this chapter because it's a lot of talking and then some wolfstar fluff but I think it's adorable so maybe you will too. Also I wanted to thank SiriusSmut for being awesome and reviewing! You are fantabulous (I thought I'd try the word on and see how it goes.) and I am grateful you gave me a chance. Anyway, enough of my talking. To the story!

**ch. 4 Second Year Summer**

"Hey daddy?" Sirius was sitting at one of the monitors in the security center of the complex underneath their home. It was massive even though it only took up the size of the townhouse basement. Magic made it bigger on the inside.

"Hmm?" Her father turned around to face her, taking note of her fidgety stance and tired eyes. Her sleep deprivation showed heavily on her.

"The potion not working?"

"No. Even when I sleep I don't feel like I'm sleeping. I feel like I'm doing things even in my dreams. I can't rest. But that's not what I was going to ask you about." Astrid moved to sit in the chair next to Sirius and pull her legs up so she was cross-legged in the the seat.

"I wanted to know more about this place actually. I know it's a research facility and I know it's about wolves but where did they come from? Why were they sent here? We don't get any help from the Ministry since they know nothing about you or dad or James and Lily. The prophet would have had a field day with that one. So, how come this place is here?" The elder Black sighed and moved to look at the monitor, it was currently looking into the cafeteria where the wolves were sharing a meal.

"It's hard to explain...I don't even know most of it. When I got back out of the Veil I started to wonder around and ended up here. The house was on the market because all the owners claimed it was haunted. The complex below had been sealed up so nothing could get in or out. I bought the house and after I moved in and touched the panel that led down here. It opened up for me. I didn't know why at the time. But when I got down here Lily and James were here. I honestly thought I had gone crazy and was still dead behind the Veil. I learned very quickly this had once been the London Division of the Lycan Research Facility of Rome."

"The LRFR had a London Division?" Astrid wasn't sure how to respond to that one. As far as she knew Rome had been the only one...how old was this place?

"It wasn't successful as you can see. When it was shut down a lot of the wolves were allowed to go because they had no record against them. See this facility was a combination of four containment units that had been shut down due to cruel treatment of the wolves. The wolves from the LCF's in Wales, Scotland, and Ireland were sent here to the one in London and this containment facility became the LRFRLD. The amount of wolves in each facility was small enough that there wasn't a lot of overcrowding and the older wolves were given the choice if they wanted to be registered and able to leave. Many did. None that originated in this containment unit were allowed though." Sirius had stopped looking at the screens and turned to look at his daughter, noting that her eyes were alight with the hunger for knowledge and though she was in a relaxed position he had her full attention.

"Why not? What was different about this one?"

"It was for underage wolves. When the wolves became of age here they were transferred to one of the other three. Or if they reacted violently were transferred early to another facility. There were a couple that were here that were moved before they were of age."

"Where were they moved to? The ones that were moved early." Astrid was not one to let a question go and Sirius knew she'd ask every single one so she could have the full picture. His daughter hated not knowing things...he really shouldn't have been as surprised as he was when she had gotten into Ravenclaw.

"Mind you, wolves are aggressive creatures anyway especially near the moon. Remus was an anomaly in that respect as far I'm concerned. Man has the patience of a saint. When put in large numbers together fights will break out. It's the nature of wolf packs. They tussle. So fights and things aren't something the higher ups really cared about. When I say they reacted violently I mean the wolf would have to had taken lives...been horrible to an uncontrollable extent. Some of them were put to death, others were transferred. Depended on the family I suppose, or the case."

"But where were they moved to?"

"They were moved to the fifth containment facility. It's the one in the Ministry. There are five LCF's in Britain. The four that were converted to the LRFRLD and the LCF in the Ministry." Sirius really didn't want to tell her about that one. It was not something he liked to think about. The wolves here were more then enough.

"What was different about that place? Were the violent ones able to get help there?" Astrid really didn't like the thoughts in her head. Wolves weren't a well liked creature. They were a class XXXXX dark creature for crying out loud. The prejudice was astounding sometimes. It had gotten better in recent years but was by no means gone. Sirius gave her a wry smile.

"Astrid. You are old enough to know by now that the Ministry was not in the nature of helping wolves. I doubt that has changed much. Though Harry is making great strides it's hard for people to accept someone when they become an enraged beast hell bent on human flesh once a month. The LCF in the Ministry was the Maximum Security. The wolves were put in solitary confinement spaces and separated from one another. It was an awful, awful place and not something you should ever think about. The wolves there were bad people. They were like Greyback, you hear me? Those wolves would've been put to death under normal circumstances. It's why they weren't included in the dismantling of the containment units." Astrid nodded but the nagging feeling in her mind told her she was still missing something there.

"Ok, so the wolves were all put here in London where the underage ones were, what happened to make it get shut down completely?" Sirius grimaced.

"An accident. They were testing a new serum that supposedly could make the lycan virus dormant. So they would still be wolves but no longer be infectious. It ended up mutating the wolves that had volunteered for the serum. Those wolves in turn infected other wolves the next full moon. They shut this place down after that. Those that weren't infected with the mutated lycanthrope gene were able to leave and re-assimilate into society."

"And those that were still here? What about them? And how did Lily and James get down here?" Her father grew quiet at this. He knew she had a right to know but he didn't want to tell her. This was his baby and no matter grown up Astrid was or how well she could take the information...he just didn't want her to know. Besides, it wasn't his to really tell her.

"Those that were infected with the mutated gene became known as hellhounds. It took a few moons but eventually the wolves died from the virus and then, like a vampire, came back to life. There were some wolves that were taught how to run the place so when the humans left they could continue if they wanted. They found out the virus killing them was the last step in transforming them. Thus, becoming hellhounds. It's why they're still here. They don't need food to survive; they just crave it. As for Lily and James and eventually me...well we are connected to this place and when we died, we came here. The pack pulled us here. James and Lily woke up here but since I came back out of the veil as a vampire I ended up wandering here."

"How are you connected daddy? The Potters wouldn't have been here and our family surely wouldn't be involved with bettering the lives of wolves. Lily's a muggleborn so-dad. It's because of your connection to dad." Realization dawned on the girl's face. In that moment the picture came together in her mind in one horrifying second of perfect clarity.

"Sirius what are you doing?" Remus was standing in the doorway. He looked both angry and resigned. He knew this was going to happen eventually but the werewolf had prayed it wouldn't be so soon. Astrid was just too young for this.

"You were here weren't you dad? You were in this facility as a kid. You were taken out when they shut it down. That's how Lily and James and daddy ended up here. You saw them as pack members and the wolves here saw you as one so you all came here when you died? That's why you're a hellhound now right?" Remus came over to the pair of Blacks and leaned against the table in the middle of the room.

"Yes, I was here. I was bitten at the age of five and came here after an incident at home so I wouldn't hurt anyone. This place was converted 18 months later. The older wolves took to us younger kids and we became a pack. When the place was shut down that pack bond stayed. So as we die we'll come back here. Some wolves went out and found a new pack and broke the bond to this one. While I found a new pack, they weren't wolves themselves so the pack bond I had to these wolves remaind. I didn't know that by seeing my friends as pack members would bind them here like I was. I didn't know I was even bound to this place until I was here. Magic is a powerful thing Astrid. Never forget that." Astrid nodded. It was powerful enough to make her and she knew that had to take some serious power. This seemed to be enough for Remus and he sent her out to go eat dinner.

"Why did you tell her?" His amber gold eyes turned back to the grey ones of his mate. Sighing Remus moved to sit in Sirius's lap.

"She deserved to know. She's more connected then we are. Why did you tell her about the MSLCF?"

"Because she's connected to it too." Remus frowned at his mate's logic.

"She doesn't need to know that. If she ever found out about-"

"I know Rem, but she wasn't going to let that go and you know it. And if I didn't tell her about any of it when she asked she would go looking for answers herself somewhere else. Our daughter has my mischievousness and stubborn nature but she has your clever resourcefulness. She's brilliant and knows how to get the information she wants...it's better to hear it from us then someone else." Sirius pulled Remus closer and held him tight, kissing his neck softly. Remus smiled a little.

"We did make a pretty great kid huh? Terrifying sometimes to think about. Didn't know magic could do that." At this his mate snorted.

"Magic can do just about anything. I would have thought this place would tell you that."

"Don't mock me. She was a complete surprise. You had a mental breakdown at the thought of being a father." Sirius smiled at the memory of their discovery and the panic that had set in shortly thereafter.

"Yeah...but I made a good dad in the end."

"You were terrified to hold her!"

"Only because I didn't want to drop her! You make it look so easy. And I was ok after the first time. It was only when she started moving that I went crazy." Remus laughed and nodded.

"You baby-proofed EVERYTHING. I was half expecting you to bubblewrap the walls."

"I was tempted...but seriously Rem, what are we going to do? She's getting curious and we know we can't keep it from her forever. I know you don't want to tell her and I really don't want to tell her but she's not sleeping anymore. I think it's starting. Could it start this soon?"

"She does look exhausted. I don't know. This has never happened before Pads. I pray it's not starting this soon. I was planning on having more time." Remus leaned his head on Sirius's and closed his eyes. His baby girl was growing so fast. God, he wanted more time. What happened to the days of her being a princess with tea parties or a bunny that hopped around everywhere? He loved those days.

"If she isn't sleeping..."

"Then it's liking starting to happen. She's so close to begin with and she's only getting closer as her magic grows." Sirius nuzzled his head into the crook of Remus's neck as his mate's arm came around his shoulder.

"So what do we do then Rem? We can't protect her forever. Tell her now or wait?" The werewolf was quiet for a moment, debating the possible outcomes.

"We wait...for now. See how it is in a week or so. We may not have till next year. If it gets worse then we tell her. Better her knowing what's happening then be blind-sided by it when it actually happens." Sirius nodded. He didn't want her caught off guard, that was for sure.

"She's only 13..."

"I know. Come on, let's go eat. She's probably wondering where we got to. That or has the wolves organized and learning a dance number." Sirius grinned at him and pulled him flush against him.

"The wolves can keep her occupied. What's a few dance numbers for their favorite cub?" Remus laughed and kissed Sirius, his insides bubbling with a passionate heat. He could never get over the way the man felt no matter how much time had passed. He could never stop being surprised he had him.

"Mmm...no, seriously Siri. We should get down there." Despite his protest, Remus moved to straddle his mate. Sirius could sense he was winning him over.

"We won't take too long, besides, we've both been so busy lately there hasn't been any time for us to be alone." Sirius's hands wandered up Remus's shirt so they were touching the heated skin of his mate. The wolf was getting excited alongside his mate and he knew it wouldn't take much more. He almost had him...and then the Black bit Remus's neck as he ran his nails down his back.

"Fuck! Dammit Sirius..." And Sirius knew he won. After that the ex-professor took charge as was his alpha way and Sirius happily gave up his dominance.

* * *

><p>Astrid was slowly eating dinner with the rest of the pack. It had been 10 minutes and her parents were down there yet. When Merrik asked her where they were she just rolled her eyes with a smile.<p>

"Where else would my fathers be? Don't know what they're up to and I don't want to. They'll be around within an hour." The olive skinned wolf next to Merrik shook his head. He looked at her with a smile.

"Parents."

"I know, right?" Astrid smiled and rolled her eyes. "Such hard work."

* * *

><p>So that's the next chapter. Things are slowly coming together and there is a hint that my favorite boys may know what's happening to Astrid. Also, in case you were wondering, yes, the other half of Astrid's DNA is Remus. I'm not really sure what to do with it yet because I'm still on the fence about Mpreg. But I have a way to do it without that so if you guys don't like the idea of Sirius being pregnant and having her then let me know. Because if that's the route I going to go he is the one that will have been knocked up. As you can see Remus is the dominate mate there. If you're ok with it, let me know.<p>

Like I said, I'm on the fence about it. Some stuff I've read has been good with mpreg and some of it is just awful. I don't want to be awful. I'd rather her be a magical mishap test tube baby then be awful with mpreg. Given it's something that happened in the past so really has no bearing now but I have a tendency to do flashbacks so you may see it then or when the boys talk to her about the past...yeah. Just let me know.

Oh and if you want to see more interaction between Remus and Sirius tell me because the opportunity does arise sometimes.

Review for me please. Click the button. Come on, you know you want to click the button. Click it!

^.^ Told you, you wanted to click it. Thank you for reading and reviewing~


	5. Terrifying Discovery

Disclaimer: JK owns all. Except Astrid. She's my brain child.

So hello all~ Another chapter up! It's strange to post this often but I kind of like it. Honestly this is a miracle. This past week has been so busy. Last Saturday I was in Chicago for a Dir en Grey concert (freaking amazing band). Then on Tuesday I had an acting showcase, which I did well enough to get invited to a convention for it...didn't have the money and I cried. Also on Tuesday was the release of the new book in one of the series I read. The Fiery Heart, haven't finished it yet. Then on Thursday was the Catching Fire premiere and I went to that. And yesterday was the 50th for Doctor Who and some Whovians and I had a marathon and watched the 50th while eating fish fingers and custard! Tenant made me cry. He was my favorite. He made me cry and then smile in the same go. Anyway, it's been a busy week for me. But here is the next chapter~ I hope it's not a jumbled mess of thoughts. If it is I'm sorry, I've had a lot of distractions this week.

Thank you **SiriusSmut** for being my awesome reviewer. You are fanfuckingtastic. Lol, I couldn't resist. ;P And anyone else reading this should check out SiriusSmut's story Study Time With Friends. It's quite good and I recommend taking a gander at it if you like WolfStar. Remus and Sirius = OTP!

Alright, on with the story!

* * *

><p>ch. 5 Terrifying Discovery<p>

The scream was coming out of her throat before she could even register where she was. Astrid didn't have to wait long before she found two men at her door. Her parents were always there when she had her nightmares. It seemed almost as if they were waiting for it to happen.

"I'm ok...just a bad dream." Sirius was next to her already and sitting down on her bed.

"Sweetie, this is not just a bad dream. I'd call them more of night terrors if anything...do you want to talk about it?" Astrid shook her head. There was no way she was going to tell her parents that she was being haunted by murderous wolves. They would hit the ceiling.

"I'm fine. I promise." Remus was still in the doorway with his arms crossed. He had really been hoping for more time. This was much too soon. Sirius looked up at him with deeply saddened eyes. He couldn't blame him. They both knew what this meant.

"Astrid are your dreams about the dead? -Just answer with a yes or no cub." Astrid had already started to answer and the wolf knew she would try to hold in the truth of her night terrors as long as possible, even though she didn't have to. His daughter looked down at the ground before nodding softly.

"Are they the ones from before? From when you were six?" Despite the cold fear gripping her Astrid laughed at Sirius. The idea that the human remains scared her anymore was preposterous.

"Merlin no. I wouldn't be so scared of some walking corpses after food. No, these are...these are much worse." Remus moved into the room and picked up Astrid's favorite stuffed animal, a black wolf with blue eyes and held out his hand. She had loved it so because it was a mix of their family; the wolf of Remus, the black fur of Sirius, and the blue eyes of herself.

"Come on cub. You're coming with us." The blonde Ravenclaw didn't argue and simply took her father's hand, being led down the hall to their bedroom. Sirius moved to lay down on the right side of the king sized bed and opened the covers for his daughter to crawl in. She was 13 now and knew that most kids didn't crawl in bed with their parents but they weren't like most families. She was scared and her very canine fathers were picking up on that. They wanted her close just as much as she wanted the security of having them near her. She crawled in the middle of the bed and under the covers without hesitation. Remus laid down after her, handing over the stuffed wolf in the process.

"Rest easy, baby girl. We're here. Nothing is going to get you." Astrid snuggled into Sirius' embrace and felt the arms of Remus wrap around the both of them. She did feel safe...maybe even at peace. It didn't take but a moment for her breathing to even out and sleep to claim her once more. This time, dreamless. Sirius caught his lover's eye from above the blonde fluff of Astrid's hair.

"How much time do you think?"

"Not much...decade at most. Much too soon..." His golden eyes settled on his daughter. She was just too young and deserved so much more. Deserved far better then what she was getting.

"The longest ever to live was only 25 when they died. Remus-"

"I know. There isn't much we can do. This is something she'll have to face without us Sirius. We can't protect her from the other realms. We can't protect her from this and she will have to face it. They all do. All we can do is support her and show her all the things she has. Make her want to come back to us..." As he said this he pulled the two in his arms closer to him. Astrid was now completely trapped between them, but didn't seem to mind as she slept soundly.

"She'll come back. She has to...I don't know if I can live without her anymore."

"I know. I doubt I could either. We'll tell her in the morning. For now, she needs as much rest as she can get and so do you. You've been up for two days now with worry. Sleep, I've got you. Both of you." Sirius nodded and kissed Remus softly before shifting and getting comfortable. He fell asleep to the sound of his daughter's even breathing and the soothing feel of Remus's hand running through his hair. 

* * *

><p>"Thanks for letting me come sleep with you guys. I know it's stupid, especially now that I'm 13..."<p>

"Not another word Astrid. We moved you to our bed, not the other way around." Sirius set down a plate of bacon in front of his daughter along with two slices of toast and a bowl of strawberries. There was a similar plate in front of Remus with the exception of it being sausage instead of bacon.

"It doesn't bother us cub. On the contrary I feel more at ease with you in my sight. The wolf is definitely calmer too."

"Well that's alpha mentality for you." Sirius sat down at the table and gave Remus a nod. It was now or never. They couldn't hide this from her anymore. Sirius set down his cup of 'coffee' and cleared his throat.

"Astrid. The dream you've been having. You said it was about the dead. Are these dead people talking to you? Do they want you to do something?" The piece of bacon the girl had picked up fell back to the plate. They wanted to discuss this now!?

"Daddy I really don't want to-"

"It's yes or no cub. We don't need details, yet. Just yes or no for now." Remus could see the turmoil in her eyes. She really was against talking about her nightmares. Which only reaffirmed the fact that it was as he feared. Astrid was dying.

"Fine, yes. They want something."

"And, is that something not something you want to do?"

"I definitely don't want to do it, daddy." Sirius nodded and took a drink of his warmed up blood. He was as reluctant as his daughter. She wasn't going to take it well.

"Is that something releasing them?" Astrid looked up in alarm. They knew!?

"How did you know? I told them no. I won't even talk to them daddy. I try to ignore them but they won't leave me alone! I can't get them to stop and when I don't dream about them all I hear are the whispers. The whispers and constant noise...so much noise..."

"Whoa, easy cub. Easy. Do you know who they are?" Remus took hold of Astrid's hands to try to calm her but she was starting to panic a little. The desperation in her voice told him she had been dealing with this for a while now.

"No. I refuse to ask and they haven't said. They're bad dad, so so bad. Evil vile things. I don't want to let them out. I can't. They would do so many bad things but they want me to. They say I'm supposed to help them. I know I can interact with dead things in a way others can't. You said I was special like that but I don't know what to do. They won't leave me alone."

"And they never will cub. They will continue to come to you until the day you die. It's part of your gift; part of who you are. You're a necromancer Astrid, you know that. You have an extraordinary ability that is exceedingly rare in wizards. The last one like you was born over 600 years ago. I'm so sorry. I wish I could change it and give you peace." Astrid looked dazed. She had known that was what she was for ages. Her parents never kept that from her but they weren't telling her everything either. Not then, and not now.

"So I'm going to be hounded by dead things no one else can see or hear until I die? I'll go crazy before that! I can barely sleep dad." Sirius placed his hand on her arm, drawing her attention away from the werewolf.

"We know. It's part of what makes you so dangerous. The less sleep you have the worse you'll get. Your power will grow as you get older and it will start to pull stronger spirits and other things from the other planes of existence to you. This in turn will make it even harder to sleep. After a period of time the necromancer usually goes insane and slaughters all things around him. It's where muggles get their tales of zombies from. It's a necromancer unleashing it's power and commanding control on the corpses around it. In some cases they have been known to pull others from the void and bring them into being here.

Even after that, the sleep deprivation continues. It's the first sign of maturing power Astrid. Your dreams and sleepless nights told us it was starting. We tried to keep this from you because it's a heavy burden to bear...we didn't want you to have to think about it. But we knew we couldn't keep it from you forever and it's better for you to know what's coming." Sirius trailed off and looked to Remus. How could they tell her this?

"So I'm destined to be insane and crazy and locked up somewhere for my own good? Is that it?"

"No cub...necromancers never make it that far. The sleep deprivation...Astrid it will kill you. Dreamless sleep potions will stave it off for a while, years even, but necromancers bodies will eventually shut down from lack of rest. There is a period where one can come back once they've crossed over but only one has ever done it and he never mentioned how he did it. The only thing we could find was he once said that what he left behind was too great to stay where he was. " The three sat quietly at the table for what seemed like several minutes before Astrid spoke again.

"H-how long do I have then? Before my body shuts down?" Sirius sighed and gripped her arm tighter.

"The oldest necromancer in history was 25...and the last three years of his life was spent in a coma. No rest, even when asleep."

"So at best I have a decade to live?" The absurdity of it all finally got to Astrid and she started to laugh. It was much like how Sirius had been laughing when the Ministry took him to Azkaban. Too much all at once and she was laughing in hysteria.

"Astrid, look at me cub." The giggling girl looked up at her father, noticing the steadiness about him.

"We won't go down without a fight. You will survive. We'll find a way. There has to be something that can help. We won't stop looking." Her laughter had died down while Remus spoke and she nodded silently. She could only hope there was a way to stop this. She didn't want to die. Breakfast continued after that. The topic was changed and for a moment they were distracted. 

* * *

><p>Astrid kept writing to James throughout the summer. He wanted her to visit but she declined. Lord only knew what would happen if Harry Potter figured her out. She couldn't risk that. Eventually she grew used to the knowledge that she was dying. All living things were dying. She was just dying faster then most. Other then that terrifying discovery she was having normal summer. At least until the middle of August.<p>

Astrid was in the house, reading up on some of the history of the complex below her when someone knocked on her door. They hadn't had visitors since...well, since Professor Longbottom. Slowly, the girl got up off her window seat and moved to answer the door. She knew her parents were notified since there was a sensor alarm on the porch.

"Look if you're selling something we aren't buying so you can just-Teddy?" Astrid had been telling whoever it was off as she opened the door but on her front porch was none other then her half-brother/cousin Teddy. His face broke out into a happy grin.

"Hey there mei-mei! Pack a bag. I'm here to kidnap you. With parental consent of course. James figures it'll be easier to convince them to let you come stay if we just showed up. I don't really buy that but I get the feeling you aren't even asking so here I am." Astrid stepped back into the house as Teddy moved into the foyer. His eyes immediately turned gold. He could smell the wolves beneath and probably could smell her vampire father.

"My next question was going to be if your dad would attack me but I smell wolves...he doesn't eat them right?" Astrid shook her head. Still too stunned to do anything.

"Good to know. Where is the undead man anyway?" Probably having a conniption if she knew her father. Astrid finally found her voice.

"How did you find me? I never said where I lived."

"Oh, we put a tracking spell on James's owl. This was his idea and I happen to miss your crazy butt. Be glad it's me. He would've just grabbed you and run."

"You used a tracking spell to find me...Teddy did it ever occur to you that I maybe didn't want found?"

"Astrid what is going on...oh god. Are you nuts kid!? You can't bring a breather in here!" Merrick was standing at the door to the facility below and not looking happy one bit.

"I didn't bring him in! He showed up. Don't blame me."

"He is here because of you. If he dies here it'll be on your head!" Teddy moved in between Astrid and Merrick to block the angry wolf from her.

"Whoa, can we all just calm down here? And what the hell do you mean breather? And dying? Astrid, care to explain?" There was a shadow looming in the door behind Merrick, watching everything. The low hiss it let out drew three sets of eyes to it. Astrid paled.

"Daddy it's not what it looks like. I didn't tell him to come here. I didn't even tell him where we lived! Don't hurt him! Teddy only wanted to see if I could go visit him and James. Daddy please!" Sirius bolted forward and grabbed hold of Teddy, anger written all over his face. The metamorphmagus had the sense to look scared.

"Sirius Black? Sirius Black is your father!? Astrid what the hell? Hey, let go! Where are you taking me?" Teddy started to struggle against the iron grip on his arm as he was dragged down stairs into the complex. Astrid ran to catch up to her father, trying to reason to the logical side of his mind since it was obviously the jealous, vengeful part that was currently controlling his actions. Teddy's existence never sat well with Sirius simply because it meant his mate had bedded someone else. His cousin at that.

Teddy kept struggling against the hold Sirius had on him, his hair turning white in his panic. Astrid was still trying to talk sense into her father but it was falling on deaf ears. The wolves in the complex were starting to notice something was happening. A few even started to follow them to see what was going on. Sirius had pulled Teddy into one of the research labs and threw him in, sending him sprawling on the floor.

"Look what stopped by Remus." There was a feral gleam in his eyes as he looked to his mate. Remus looked up at Sirius as their daughter ran forward to the boy on the floor.

"Teddy! You ok? I'm so sorry...you're kind of an anger trigger. Your arm isn't broken is it?" Remus looked down to find his son sitting up on the floor.

"Sirius what-"

"I thought you might want to see him Remus! Considering he's yours after all. You and that **bitch** of a cousin of mine. She knew what you were to me and that didn't stop her did it? Didn't stop you! Now here he is! The bastard son you had with her! I thought you should see him now, coming to take **my **daughter away! Not a chance in hell." The Black man's eyes had bled to red in his anger. He wanted blood. How dare that boy come here and try to take his daughter away from him!? How DARE he! Sirius started to move toward Teddy again, intent on blood, when Remus grabbed him and pinned him to the wall.

"Sirius calm down! That is enough. You were dead! You were dead and gone and it took a long time for me to even breathe again but she helped! I know you don't want to hear it but Tonks helped me! She helped me see that I was still needed and that I couldn't just die like I wanted to! She was so much like you that I fell for her." Sirius fought against the sandy-haired man even more at that. How could he say something like that?

"Stop it Sirius! I fell for her and yes, I loved her, but in the way I loved you! We had a son together and that will never change. I can't take it away and I don't want to! It's not his fault! You died! You died and left me alone! Look at me!" Red eyes found gold and for a moment Sirius stopped struggling.

"You left me...I didn't know how I was going to survive. And I came back to you in the end. She wasn't my mate Siri, you are. I loved Tonks, but you were the one I could never let go of...Teddy is alive because of something he had no part of and no control over. Don't blame him. He's so good Siri...so wonderful and even if not your son he is still your family. Astrid adores him and he is my son. Do you really want to be the killer of that? Do you really want us to see you murder an innocent boy because you can't deal with the fact I had another in my bed?" Sirius growled lowly. Remus's hand wrapped around Sirius' throat to keep his attention.

"You are who I wanted. I never stopped wanting you...you were dead. I'm here now and I'm never leaving you. No one else, ever. So stop. If you stopped focusing on his mother you could grow to love Teddy too. Just, give him a chance Siri. For me? For Astrid?" Sirius's eyes were the stormy grey they had been once more. He wasn't fighting anymore and after a moment Remus released him. He turned to find Astrid putting Bruise Salve on Teddy's already purpling arm. His son was here. His son was here and already had seen too much.

"I'm so sorry. He's usually so good holding in his anger about Tonks. I didn't think he'd go this far. Please don't tell. No one can know he's still around. It would crush James' dad. You can't say anything Teddy. Please."

"Sirius Black is your father. And my dad is here...my dad and Sirius are together...and you're Sirius' daughter." Teddy's hair was slowly turning a pale purple in his confusion. This couldn't be happening. Right?

"Teddy...are you alright?" Remus slowly approached his son, knowing this was not going to be an easy conversation.

"You're dead! Like real and proper dead! Harry buried you! How can you...I just don't understand."

"It's hard to explain and it's not going to be a short conversation either." The young Lupin steeled his nerves. This may have been completely unreal but he wasn't about to let it get the best of him.

"Well I have time and I think by now I deserve to know what is going on. How long have you known about this Astrid?" He turned to look at the girl he considered to be a little sister. At least that was what he always called her. Mei-mei meant little sister. She looked down, refusing to meet his eyes.

"My whole life...I was born here Teddy. They raised me. I couldn't tell anyone though. Do you have any idea what the world would do? What Harry would do? I couldn't risk my family."

"Your family? Astrid that's my father! That's my family! You didn't think I deserved to know after all this time?" His tone took on a rough edge. Being around so many wolves it was hard to keep his agitation in check, though he had no idea why.

"He's my father too! I wasn't about to let the world know about them so they could be taken away and experimented on! If that meant keeping you and everyone else in the dark then that's what I was going to do. Don't patronize me Teddy, you thought he was dead and gone and you accepted that. Just because I knew different doesn't mean I was obligated to tell you. There's a lot I don't tell you."

"Back up a little cub and calm down. Teddy has a much right to know me as you do. He just wasn't privy to the knowledge. Do you want to sit and listen with an open mind Teddy? Mind you, whatever you hear or learn here is never to pass your lips to anyone who doesn't already know about this place." Teddy looked skeptical for a moment but then looked to Sirius behind Remus and then to Astrid who was still next to him.

She had known of this place her whole life. She had known these secrets since before she had met them and had kept them close to her. Astrid had no one to talk to about this place; no one to talk to about her home. James and Fred and he all talk about their summers at home and Astrid had always just said it was the 'same old same old'. How many times had she wanted to say something about home and never did because she couldn't? How many amazing things happened to her in the summer months that she couldn't share because no one knew? Suddenly Teddy saw how lonely Astrid's life must be sometimes because of the things she had to keep bottled up.

This wasn't just to satisfy his own curiosity and get to know his father. This was also to give Astrid someone to talk to about her summers and her life at home.

"I want to know. Tell me everything." Sirius noticed the way Teddy watched his daughter. He had had that same look with Regulus when they were young. Remus' son was protective and mindful of Astrid. That alone gained his respect but the way he took the knowledge of their lives in the facility, with a curious mind and open heart, made Sirius warm up to Teddy rather quickly. Especially when he accepted that Remus was his mate, even playfully saying that he guessed that made Sirius his step-dad.

All in all, he took the information better then expected. No one mentioned the death sentence on Astrid's head, which she was thankful for. They did have to explain her birth though. After the initial shock he shook his head and looked at her.

"Guess you really are my little sister. No wonder you are so weird kid. You've got waring DNA in your blood bound together by magic and love. I think I'd be a bit crazy too if I were you...so can she come with me back to the Potter's for a couple days? That was my original reason for being here." Remus and Sirius both shook their heads instantly.

"Not this year Teddy. Maybe in a couple years once she has more of a handle on her powers. But definitely not this year. I'm glad you showed up. I'm very proud of you. You turned out alright without us."

"But I don't have to anymore right? I can come visit sometime? Get to know you guys more." Remus opened his mouth to respond but Sirius beat him to it, along with a hug.

"Of course you can. And I'm sorry about your arm...my anger sometimes gets the better of me. Tonks was a good witch and she was my favorite cousin next to her mother. I just-"

"Dad's your mate. I get it. Besides my arm isn't so bad. Just bruised." Teddy was understating the bruising but Sirius was grateful none-the-less. Sirius gave Teddy another hug, committing his scent to memory before pulling back and allowing Remus to do the same.

"Come around sometime. We'll sit and have dinner or something. Write to us even. Astrid send us one every Friday so you could always send a letter with hers. Don't be a stranger." Teddy nodded and hopped off the table he had sat down on after Astrid had helped him off the floor. He gave the two men one last smile as Astrid led him out of the underground complex and back up to the front door.

"So your home life is more eventful then I thought...and I expect to hear details now that I know. No more bottling it up mei-mei. Talk to me ok?" The Ravenclaw nodded and hugged Teddy, bidding him goodbye.

"See you next week. Remember I'm taking you to Diagon Alley!" Teddy waved at her before heading down the street to summon the knight bus. Astrid closed the door and leaned against it for support. This coming year was going to be interesting.

* * *

><p>Alrighty~ So next chapter will be Astrid going to her third year at Hogwarts and will have the return of James! Woohoo~ I'll be happy to write him again. I like the dynamic between him and Astrid. Also we'll see Teddy start to develop more as Astrid's older brother and as a wolf. Because he is. Most in the story just don't know this yet. Something will happen and everyone will find out though. All in do time. ^.^ Read and Review please. I love reading reviews.<p>

I'm also thinking of changing my pen name on here but I'm not sure yet. Thought I would give you all a heads up.


	6. Shop of Wonders

An: I know this chapter is short but I'm having a hard time with writing. I literally rewrote this chapter three times. Bridging plot points right now is not my strong suit. Not that it ever has been. But here is a little filler chapter of Astrid's trip to Diagon Alley with Teddy.

Disclaimer: I own Astrid. Nothing else.

* * *

><p>ch. 6 Shop of Wonders<p>

Astrid was skipping about Diagon Alley with Teddy in tow. This was much more preferred to Merrick taking her. She was definitely having more fun.

"This is fun! I don't have to worry about Merrick taking a chunk out of someone. Oh! You are required to be in attendance for dinner by the way. Dad says so. Actually I think Daddy said it first but, whatevs. You have to be there. And I need to grab some more blood pops for Daddy. He really likes the hippogriff ones. I swear he about killed Natasha for taking his last one. She hid for over a week. It made it surprisingly quiet around home." The girl had been rambling to Teddy since he got her. All the years of things that had happened at home that she could never share she suddenly could. The metamorphmagus started to laugh.

"Mei-mei you get over excited sometimes you know that? I never knew you could be like this." Astrid shrugged as they walked into the Apothecary. She needed more dried nettles and Teddy needed some Wolfsbane. The blonde had laughed in ernest when he told her that.

"Well, you only live once and no one knows when that time comes. So, why not enjoy it while it lasts?" They each got the ingredients they needed and headed to pay for them. Teddy raised an eyebrow at her.

"Is that why you play pranks all the time? 'Living it up'?" His sister grinned.

"Actually no, that's just me. The babbling about everything under the sun, maybe. Though I'm not sure why. It's not like I don't have plenty to talk about to James and stuff but...I guess it's nice to be able to talk about home. If I talked to Jamie about it he'd want to meet them and I can't have that. Merlin only knows what would happen if he ever ended up down there."

"Very true. Well, you can always ramble to me mei-mei. It's amusing to see you so excited about something that didn't involve mischief or rule-breaking." The pair left the Apothecary and headed down the street to Florish & Blotts to get their books. It was the last thing on their list next to new robes for Teddy. He'd had a growth spurt and his robes were now too short.

"Is James here today?" It hadn't escaped the new prefect's attention that Astrid had been looking for her best friend since they'd entered Diagon Alley. He smiled at her oh so oblivious action. Truly, he doubted she even knew she was doing it. Just the same as he knew James never realized he always instinctively sought out Astrid in a crowd. It was inside joke between him, Fred, Albus, and Victoire.

Albus said they were like magnets that were incapable of avoiding each other. Teddy preferred to think of them as duel stars. Each pulled to the other by their gravity but neither overtaking the other. They were in sync, in complete balance, just like two bright stars circling each other.

"No, he came a couple days ago. He didn't know I was bringing you today otherwise he probably would've found some way to put it off or come with me." Teddy led her through the store, getting all the books both of them would need before pulling her along to get new robes for himself. She sat down dutifully as he got measured. She didn't want to go back home just yet; it was so fun being out and about. And they bickered like real siblings too, that was the best part in her mind. Teddy had already considered like a little sister before but now that he knew he really took to being a big brother.

She teased him about how his gangly arms and he teased her about her about her chicken legs. Astrid just felt better around him. It made her feel less like a half dead girl with a decade to live and more like an actual normal girl with a long full life ahead of her. Once the blue haired teen got his robes they headed back out into the street.

"So home then?" Even if she didn't want to go just yet. Teddy shook his head though.

"Nope, one more stop. Got to say hi first. He'd never let me hear the end of it otherwise." Astrid was a little confused but let her brother wrap his arm around her shoulder and lead her down the street. It completely shocked her when she found herself in her personal version of a candy store.

"Teddy!" The pair turned to see a man with red hair and a grin that Astrid knew well. After all, she often saw it on her and James' faces.

"Hey George. You're son around? And your nephew. I got a-" A loud squeal from his right cut off his sentence.

"Oh my god are those the Skiving Snackboxes? And Ton-Tongue Toffees! Oh, Portable Swamps. Those things rock! Screaming yo-yos, Unlucky Dip, Sticky Trainers, Weather in a Bottle, Box of Rockets, Dragon Fire, Weasley Wildfire Whiz-bangs...I have died and gone to heaven. Wakefields Off the Record Glow in the Dark Gum!? I so want some!" Astrid was darting about the shop in a deliriously giddy fashion. Her energy level spiked through the roof instantly. Teddy rolled his eyes with a smile on his face but George was grinning from ear to ear. He loved when he found a customer that was excited about his products as he was.

"Where did you find this girl Teddy? Why have you not brought her here before?"

"Actually James found her and this is the first time she's come to Diagon Alley with me. She's banned from coming in here by her parents. Too much she could use in her plans. So no telling Dad!" Astrid whipped her head around and then bolted into Teddy's arms.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you! And definitely no telling Daddy. This place is amazing. And can I ask where James is?" Teddy shrugged his shoulders.

"He's probably at home As." The blonde shook her head.

"No, I smell him. Wow, you two look a lot alike." Her blue eyes were looking at a pair of red heads. One was confused, the other was highly shocked.

"You can see me?"

"What?" George was looking about trying to figure out who the girl was referring to. Astrid's eyes widened in realization. One of the twins was dead. That was right.

"The picture. That's you and your brother right?" All three boys turned around to see a picture of Fred and George with Remus on the wall.

"Oh, yeah. That was our first sale. Your dad made sure he was our first customer Teddy. When we asked he told us that what we do matters. That even in the darkest times, people need to laugh and smile and that's what we were doing. He definitely needed the smiles then. We opened not long after Sirius died."

"Oh he would have loved this place. Never knew in life he was one of our idols. The both of them. Wish we did. George and I owe them so much." Astrid's eyes drifted to the paler twin standing there. She knew no one else could see him but he knew she could. There was no doubt about that.

"Anyway, we took that photo to commemorate our first purchase. Remus gave us our first galleon, sickle, and knut so we did the muggle thing and framed it with the photo." George's eyes looked so sad but he sounded happy, as if it was a good memory that was stained with grief since he was the last man of the three left alive.

"Hey, Dad. Roxie wanted me to tell you she went to stay the night at Harry's with Dominique. Lily is having a 'before-we-go-to-Hogwarts sleepover'. Hey Teddy, what brings you here? As!" Fred had walked in from the back room which led up to the flat above the shop. His voice raised significantly when he spoke (yelled) Astrid's name. There was the sounds of several pairs of feet on the stairs before several red heads and two Potters entered the room.

"You were having a get-together without me Fred? I'm wounded. Truly I am." The fourth year boy rolled his eyes at Teddy.

"Oh please, I have family over. And if you recall I did ask you to join. _You_ declined. Said you were busy."

"I was. I have a spunky maraudering girl to keep watch over."

"I see that. You could have brought her. I'm almost positive the boys wouldn't have minded." At that most the boys behind Fred spoke as one saying 'but she's a girl'. Albus shook his head.

"She's a whirlwind of crazy."

"She's the best prankster ever." Albus and James spoke at the same time. The group of ginger boys all turned to look at them. The younger Potter shrugged as his elder brother ran over to his best friend.

"You'll get used to her special brand of crazy." The boys weren't so sure if Albus was joking with them or not but from the look on his face they were guessing no.

"Is she the one he always talks about?" The tallest red head asked? Fred and Albus nodded in return.

"What are you doing here? Not that I'm not thrilled to see you but I thought you weren't allowed because of all the 'devious plans' and all that." James was referring to their conversation on the day they met. Astrid grinned. That had been a good day.

"I am. Teddy brought me~ I can't believe how amazing this place is. Daddy was right. I would find _way_ too much stuff to help me in my mischief making." The blonde didn't know why but her stomach felt a bit quesy for a moment when James wrapped an around her shoulder. Was it his smell? Was he starting to effect her again? But it passed in a second and she felt calm once more. Or at least as calm as she could be in a shop that was full of maraudering possibilities.

"Well then, since this may be the only time you get to come in here shall we build you a gift basket? We can do that right uncle George?" The propiortor of WWW was watching them with avid curiosity and interest. James was quite a different person around this girl. It reminded him of the days when he had Fred.

"Yes, just as long as you promise to pull some pranks with them." Astrid turned to stare at the man in delight and awe.

"Oh you have nothing to fear. Your products will not go to waste in my hands. You sir, are my hero. Now Jamie, show me the fireworks." Astrid was led away quickly to the shelves of explosive fun. Teddy crossed his arms over his chest, his expression a mix between amusement and worry.

"Dear Merlin what have I done?" Fred slung his arm around the iced-blue haired boy.

"You just made that girl's day...and possibly screwed the rest of Hogwarts. But hey, look at how happy she is. Besides, she's good for business. Right Dad?" George smiled down at his son.

"Yes, very good for business. Because I highly doubt this will be her last trip here."

* * *

><p><strong>An:<strong> Well that is the end of this short little chapter. I will be writing more this week and updating with Third Year as soon as possible. Not a lot happens their third year other then slight character developments and Lily and Bianca (someone you will meet soon) starting Hogwarts. (Along with Fred's little sister Roxanne and Victoire's little sister Dominique. but they don't show up much in the story.) Anyway, Read and Review. It will make me smile and believe me, it's something I could sorely use this week.


	7. Third Year

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter. My genie has not been cooperative in granting my wishes.

An: Holy! Look at how much time has passed since my last update. I'm terribly sorry. I have been very busy and lots of RL stuff caught up with me and it's just been crazy. But as a reward for patience, this chapter is nearly twice as long as my usual ones so enjoy~ Also it's a bit different too. This is more of a string of instances throughout the year then a seamless scene.

I want to thank **SiriusSmut** and **Lex** for reviewing my story. Thank you both So much! You are amazing and gave me the motivation to keep typing on this story. Which is something because I have a lot of ideas bouncing around in my head right now and they are all fighting for attention. Makes it very hard to concentrate. Anyway, you two ROCK and please keep reviewing. It makes me very happy when you do.

For everyone else, please review! Reviews equal smiles people and smiles make a happy author, which makes a writing author, which means more updates and updates mean more for you to read! So in short. Read and Review!

Now that I'm done being a dork, here's the chapter. ^.^

* * *

><p><strong>ch. 7 Third Year<strong>

Astrid hadn't realized she had become so comfortable around James' family but the train ride to Hogwarts showed that she had indeed become quite comfortable with them. So much so that she had stolen Al's glasses and charmed them to see auras, braided Lily's hair, shared a chocolate frog with Fred, and even allowed Rose to borrow one of her favorite books. She also met Fred's little sister Roxanne, Victoire's little sister Dominique, and Rose's little brother Henry. Those three had only stopped to say hello and left with Victoire and Rose to find a less crowded cabin. Lily would've gone with them but wanted to stay with James and Albus on the train ride.

Somewhere in the midst of the train ride, Scorpius had joined them bringing the number in the cabin to a full eight. Astrid never saw him come in though. She'd fallen asleep on James' shoulder. The eldest Potter smiled and wrapped an arm around her. The blonde had been very tired and for some reason James just put her at ease.

He woke her up sometime later to get changed. The Hogwarts staff had long since given up trying to get her to stop wearing her chucks. It took a lot of detentions to get there but in the end Astrid felt it was worth it.

"We'll see you guys at the feast Lils. Make sure to get Gryffindor! Come on Albus, Rose, let's get a carriage." James had wrapped his arm around Astrid again as they led the way to the carriages. Teddy had disappeared to find Victoire. Fred had at least stayed with them. He had said hello to his friends before hopping up into the carriage. Rose and Albus didn't seem to mind the ride and Astrid found herself at peace after her nap on the train. Once in the Great Hall Astrid left her pack of scarlet and gold to go join the blue and bronze horde that was her house. And just as suspected, all three girls ended up in Gryffindor. Astrid almost wondered if any of James' family would be in any other house. It would kind of be neat if one ended up in Ravenclaw.

* * *

><p>"Ok, so is everything wired together?" James asked as he turned to his petite partner in crime. They had just gotten a wonderfully large, completely full, package from WWW. James had a very large grin on his face that was matched only by the look of pure delight in Astrid's when she saw it.<p>

"All good on my end. How about your end?" The blonde was holding a long line of fuse that was braided together. James handed her his not as nicely braided fuse and watched her twist them all together.

"Wonderful. Now...we just have to get far enough away...set a timer spell maybe?"

"Hooked onto what? These are water activated fireworks, As." James looked at As as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh ye of little faith. What would you do without me?" The blonde levitated some water from the Black Lake and created a bubble around it with a timer spell. James grinned.

"I would have a far more boring life, that's for sure. How long did you give?" The boy held out a hand to help Astrid into the boat they had taken to get out to the island that housed Dumbledore's tomb. They couldn't resist having a fireworks show for Halloween. Especially when James found out that it was Astrid's birthday. She had never said and since she had never said he assumed her birthday was in the summer months, like his own. So in celebration for two missed birthdays and one that was almost missed, they made use of the fireworks George had sent them.

"I gave it three minutes. The Hall should be filled with people now eating dinner." James pushed off of the shore and hopped into the boat. They were side by side in the middle of the boat with a blanket wrapped around them. Thankfully it had a warming charm on it. The pair were half way back to the boat house when the fireworks went off. So many exploded that it looked like the sun had come back out for a moment.

James looked over at his best friend, taking in her delighted face and the spark in her eyes. She was stunning. He always knew she was pretty, Astrid was a Black. Haunting beauty ran wild in her genes. Even crazy murderous Bellatrix had been gorgeous in her youth before Azkaban. But in that moment, the Potter realized just how pretty the Ravenclaw was.

'_How have I never noticed before_?' James shook his head. He wasn't about to dwell on it. Instead he wrapped an arm around her slim shoulders and pulled her close.

"Happy Birthday As. I can't believe you're birthday is on Halloween. Why didn't you ever say?" Astrid shrugged.

"Just never thought it was important. Birthdays just mark an age number. I don't feel different and I certainly don't feel older."

"But you are As, and your birth is something to celebrate." The finale for the fireworks finished just as they hit the boat house. Astrid snorted as she made her way to the stone steps that would take them back up to the castle.

"It's just another day. Besides, you never said your birthday either." That and another birthday meant another year that she didn't have left to live. There was an unknown day somewhere ahead that signaled the end of her. Astrid didn't want to think about it.

"Yeah, but you know it. I got a present from you this past summer." She smiled at him. That was true. James' birthday was August 13. The blonde had found out from Teddy and sent James a black zip-up hoodie with his last name and Quidditch position number on the back in red. The Gryffindor house crest was on the front in the top left corner of the hoodie. It was the same hoodie he was wearing at that moment.

"I have my ways Jamie. But you have always given me a gift. We do an amazing Halloween prank every year. Speaking of, did you get the stuff for the Slytherins?" James pulled out the empty vial that had contained a color changing potion. He had slipped into the Slytherins dessert while it was still in the kitchens.

"And you warned the Malfoy?" He really wished he didn't have to do that but he would've faced both his siblings and Astrid on that. How strange that not only Albus was hanging out with Scorpius but his baby sister was too. It worried James a bit but Lily had a new friend named Bianca. And Bianca was a Hufflepuff so maybe it evened them out.

"Yes I did. Then I hexed him into secrecy so he wouldn't tell. Also may have used the 'no more heads up' threat if he told anyone." The noises coming from the Great Hall when they arrived told them their potion had gotten to the Slytherin student body. There was a mass exodus of red, yellow, and blue skinned people running to the dungeons. The kicker was that the color kept changing at random intervals to another house color.

"Brilliant piece of potion work. What charm did you use cousin?" Scorpius was currently a dandelion yellow. She had warned him.

"Scorpius, what?" Her cousin shrugged as the rest of his house ran out of sight.

"You warned me but I would have been the only one to not change. Why single myself out?" Astrid smiled and hugged the blonde Slytherin.

"You kinda rock. The potion will wear off on it's own by morning. Think you can handle that?" Scorpius nodded. Of course he could. He was no stranger to Astrid and James' fun anymore. One night was a cake walk. He left shortly after that seeing McGonagall coming toward them.

"Potter! Black!" James put on his best 'I'm innocent' smile and turned to face her. The first time she had ever said their names like that the Professor had looked very shocked at her words. Astrid heard her low voice say that she had never thought she would say those two words together again. But it only took a second for her to recover and had been saying those two words together quite often after that.

"What is it Headmistress? We were just making our way to dinner."

"What is the meaning of this? The whole of Slytherin House has primary color skin! Explain yourselves." Minerva McGonagall was a very intimidating force but neither James nor Astrid batted an eye. They had done the fireworks for good reason.

"But we couldn't have done that professor. We were setting off fireworks for the school. Didn't you see them in the ceiling?"

"And where were you both while they were going off?" Astrid pointed toward the door that lead out to the Transfiguration Courtyard and the steps to the boat house.

"We took a boat from the boathouse and were in the middle of the lake. Best spot for the fireworks. We wanted to have some fun on Halloween. You know, change things up and let everyone have a good time." The headmistress didn't seem to be buying their story but they had been out on the lake and the fireworks had definitely been seen. She couldn't prove they had even though she knew the pair were the guilty party.

"Detention. Three days. And ten points from both your houses. Fireworks without permission is not acceptable. Go eat and then report to Professor Sprout at eight tonight. She needs assistance in the greenhouses." The Headmistress walked away to go try to sort out the snake house.

"Wow...I thought she would put up more of a fight." Astrid shrugged.

"Maybe she's just gotten so used to it again and remembers the Marauders. I'm sure they gave her all sorts of hell. Small blessings James. Take the small blessings."

"But detention on your birthday, As."

"Eh, we served one last year too. It was worth it. See you after dinner." They parted to their respective tables and later served detention replanting Honking Daffodils. They passed the time by thinking up new plans and James trying to convince Astrid to try out for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team.

* * *

><p>Convince her, he had. When Astrid had owled hers and Teddy's letters that Saturday, her father instantly responded with enthusiasm. Sirius was overjoyed at his daughter wanting to join the Quidditch team. 'Shame it had to be Ravenclaw' he said but still got her Firebolt 3000 to her. Sirius got her one the moment he was able and while Astrid loved flying, it wasn't something they could really do where they lived. Plus she had never showed a strong interest in being on the team. At least, until James convinced her to try and started to fly with her. Then she discovered a great love of the game.<p>

She was at tryouts for the team and wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to go for chaser or seeker, so she went for both. Turns out, James had spread the word and she had a cheering section for her tryouts. Teddy, Fred, Victoire, Albus, Lily, Scorpius, Rose, Hugo, Dominique, and Lily's friend Bianca McKinnon were all there to cheer for her. It was quite an interesting sight to see. Callie, the captain, noticed them and raised an eyebrow at Astrid.

"Black are you sure you aren't part of Gryffindor? That's a lot of red." The blonde got on her broom and flashed an amused smile.

"James. What can you do?"

"Find a Ravenclaw." The captain seemed amused though so she took that as a good sign. As it happened Callie liked her ability to play. Astrid was currently running for her chaser tryout but as she tossed the quaffle she spotted the snitch. It was just passing her when she reached out and caught it.

Callie made her seeker.

James took her out to celebrate in Hogsmeade. Teddy and Victoire joined them for a bit before they headed out to do their own thing. In exchange they gained Fred and went on an adventure into the Shrieking Shack.

"Wow...so this is the Shrieking Shack. This place is..." The older Gryffindor had no words. The despair that had been felt so long within the Shack's walls seemed to remain even decades later. James looked about with a sad and almost pitying look.

"Yeah. Poor Remus. I can only imagine how much pain he went through here."

"Unbearable. To feel your bones snap, your organs rearrange...to feel yourself losing your mind to a blood-thirsty beast. He had no way to stop it. Hardly a way to cope. It wasn't until the Marauders became animagi that it became better. Then that whole disaster happened with Snape and it got horrible for a minute. Then Sirius was forgiven and things were better again. Still horribly painful but not as...not as lonesome. It was so very lonely before."

Astrid was talking to herself now as she traced the claw marks on the walls. The feeling of the place weighed down on her like a heavy blanket. It was dark and depressing and so unbelievably lonely. It was like she had been lost in another world. The blonde could almost her the mournful howls of a young wolf, longing for companions. A wolf longing to belong to a pack. The sound brought tears to her eyes.

"So alone..."

"Astrid!" The sound of her name was loud to her ear, drowning out the howls of a wolf that wasn't there. James was holding her by her shoulders and looking extremely worried.

"Hmm?" His concern only grew when he noticed she hadn't heard anything before he'd grabbed her.

"Hey...where'd you go?" The softness in his voice made Astrid feel funny. Like that queasy feeling came back for a moment.

"No where. Just thinking. This place remembers the pain. It's hard not to notice. I guess I was focusing on that." The Gryffindor sighed and hugged her. His scent instantly calmed Astrid again. Fred was watching them with a slight frown. Astrid had really went out of it for a moment. It had taken them a minute or two to snap her out of it.

"You sure you're ok As? We can take you to the hospital wing."

"No no. I'm good Fred, I swear. Let's go. It's probably about time for dinner, yeah?" She pulled away from James and lead the boys into the passageway she knew was there. It was one of the few she and Jamie hadn't gone through. This was clearly the first Fred knew of it too.

"Wonder where this leads. Who knew there was a secret passage in and out of the Shrieking Shack? Hey, how did you know it was here?"

"My sources wish to remain anonymous." The red head shook his head and grinned.

"Always a mystery with you isn't it?" They found themselves on Hogwarts grounds just out of Whomping Willow.

"At least I'm not boring." Neither boy could argue with her as they made their way up to the castle for dinner.

* * *

><p>Astrid woke up Christmas morning in James' bed. He had been making her stay at least every third night if not every other night. Not that she wasn't thankful. The blonde had quickly realized that she could only ever find rest when wrapped in the scent of her best friend. Though this also made her feel queasy sometimes. It was really starting to worry her. But she hadn't felt any inclination toward his blood and chalked it up to her newly developing powers playing with her internal organs. That could happen right?<p>

"Happy Christmas As. I hope you like it." James was sitting in his new sweater that his grandmother had knitted him, along with the solid gold pendant she had gotten him. It was of the golden snitch. Since he was seeker he needed a little incentive, especially since the next game would be against each other. The whole school was looking forward to seeing how that match was going to play out. But that wasn't until after the holidays. Astrid ripped open the wrapping paper to find a new pair of chucks. Her's were getting pretty worn out and these were near identical to the ones she had.

"Awesome! Now I don't have to tell Daddy to get me a new pair. Thanks Jamie." The boy nodded and held out two more packages.

"This one is another sweater from my grandmother. She did another blue A and said she wants to meet you one of these days after all the stories. She was a little upset that Uncle George got to meet you first but in his defense, Teddy kind of surprised us all with that. The second one is from wolf-boy himself." The sweater was a little bigger then last year's, though Astrid had grown hardly at all. Teddy's gift was a zip-up hoodie like the one she got James. Only hers had blue lettering and the Ravenclaw crest. She held up the card that came with it.

"'Since you're the eaglet seeker now, you may as well have a hoodie like our lion cub. Good luck in your first game. Try not to kill each other.' Oh Teddy, it's like he expects us to go overboard." She rolled her eyes but slipped on the hoodie anyway. James grinned at her.

"He always expects the absolute over the top with us, that way he's delightfully surprised when we don't do it. I guess it's easier on him. Who sent the massive amount Drooble's?" The Gryffindor pointed over to her gift basket of gum. They knew her so well.

"I'm addicted to it and Dad knows it. So he sent me some and along with a couple books. It'll last me till Easter, which is nice. I would like some more of that gum I got at your uncle's though. That was neat." Before the words had even left her mouth, James had held out a package of the very sweet she had been talking about.

"Yes! I love you Jamie. You so get me." Her best friend laughed and bit into one of his chocolate frogs.

"I love you too As. And yes, yes I do."

* * *

><p>The Ravenclaw-Gryffindor Quidditch match went on for a couple hours. It's not that Astrid and James hadn't spotted the snitch, no no, they had. It was just that they were having a ball playing chicken with each other. Astrid would get right up on the snitch and then James would zoom in from no where and bump her broom and they would lose the snitch again. Or James would almost get a hold of it when Astrid would do barrel rolls on her broom around his so he'd lose track of the shiny golden ball.<p>

It went on like that for awhile. So long that the score was 180-210, Gryffindor up. The whole of Hogwarts was at the game to see how the two troublemakers would do in a match against each other. So far, it had been highly entertaining. But in the end, James went to distract Astrid and she wound up catching the snitch from his bumping into her.

Ravenclaw won.

The blonde didn't like the victory since she thought it was a fluke but rubbed it into her best friend's face anyway.

He caught her round the waist and spun her around until she called 'Mercy'. There was never hard feelings between them over a loss or a win. Which was good, considering Astrid saw James as her lifeline.

"Good win today Black."

"Good game Potter. See you in twenty for dinner?" James was heading back to his locker room as Astrid turned to head to her own.

"You bet!"

* * *

><p>James went home for Easter...the nightmare started up again.<p>

"Astrid please! Just, just hear me out." The alpha wolf looked almost heart broken now. He had spent the last couple years trying in vain to get her to stay long enough to listen. His pack had really scared her and he was starting to fear she would never stop running from them. But here she was, pausing for a moment. The alpha jumped at the chance.

"They get rowdy and restless. I swear I would never let them hurt you! You are a precious precious thing. There are so few like you and even among them you are unique. You know by now what you are, yes?" Her nod was all he needed. The alpha hadn't moved any closer to her for fear the girl would run again.

"Good! Then you are that much closer to seeing what's coming. You know that your kind never lasts long right? Very good! Now Astrid I know it seems insane to you but please believe me, the wolves here are meant to help you with this. You will know one day what we mean but you need to release us before that or we may not be able to help you. There is something coming for you dear cub. There is something in the darkness, in the void, that wants you. It's evil, truly evil, and I can't just sit by while it comes to devour you! I am meant to protect you. Please...don't run away."

"Why should I believe anything a murdering beast has to say? You disgrace the name of werewolves." The alpha growled.

"I killed those people for reasons that are my own. Their blood needed spilled and I don't regret any of them. Hell I'd happily finish the job if given the chance! They needed to die. You have no idea why and I don't care to explain. Just know that you and I are connected little cub and one day, you will need me. One day soon...perhaps if you knew me you would understand better." Astrid stepped back toward the entrance. This guy was kidding right?

"I don't want to know you! You're a killer! A murderer with no remorse! Why would I ever want to know you?"

"Because it will help you understand! The things I did and the things I do are motivated by a bond I have. If you knew that and understood, maybe then you would be more willing. Please, I'm asking for a little faith, cub. Research this place. You'll know me by my name and you'll know my name the moment you see it. Trust me."

"Argh, you make no sense! I'm not helping you! Leave. Me. Alone!" Astrid woke up screaming with Lexi standing over her.

"Whoa! You ok AC?" She nodded and her roommate sat down, handing her a glass of water.

"You get nightmares a lot huh?" The girl ran a hand through her pixie cut russet hair. Astrid never seemed to sleep well. There were many a time that she had heard her roommate having night terrors. They made it hard to sleep on the nights she had them. They weren't all that often anymore but Lexi had a feeling Astrid had learned to keep her nightmares under wraps.

"Not really. It's a-a recurring one from childhood. Every now and then it-it'll happen again. Sorry I woke you."

"It's fine. I was up studying for Ancient Runes. That class is killing me." Astrid raised an eyebrow at the lightly tanned girl.

"Studying Ancient Runes. On a Saturday? Merlin you are so Ravenclaw." Lexi shoved Astrid lightly with her shoulder.

"It happens when you're in Ravenclaw, which if you hadn't noticed you are too. Though by all your friends you would think you were a Gryffindor."

"Yeah, I do have a lot of red around me...but they are so fun and lively. I like their rambunctiousness." Lexi let out a soft laugh.

"Yes, because that's what you need." Her roommate's laughing got Astrid to start laughing as well. This was odd for her. She didn't bond with girls well and while she was on good terms with her dorm mates, she had never interacted with them for an extensive amount of time. Still, it was kind of nice. Though Astrid doubted this would be more then a late night talk.

"You know my sister used to have those too. She's about five years older then us but she remembers being really little and in hiding with my parents. They're muggleborns and were in hiding from the Dark Lord. Had the same recurring nightmare about death eaters coming to get her. I remember waking up sometimes to her pleading in her sleep...it made me want to comfort her but whenever I tried she would shut me out. Like she didn't need any help." Alexis' voice got really quiet as she spoke. Astrid was lucky she had her father's super hearing or she never would've heard it from where she was sitting.

"If your nightmare's are like that promise you'll talk to someone Astrid. I saw what it did to my sister growing up. It was more then just a horrible dream, it was a manifestation of her fear. If it's like that for you promise you'll talk to someone. I know we aren't close but I don't want to see what happened to her happen to you. Just promise, ok? It took a long time for Mel to be ok and it was a hard road for her." Astrid didn't know what to say. Lexi's sister had a valid fear, given that she was born to muggleborns at a time when that was grounds for death. Likewise her own nightmares were more then just nightmares. Astrid was being taken to a real place with a real terror inside. But the blonde wasn't about to let her dormmate know that.

"I promise Lexi. Just so long as you swear that no one else ever knows about my nightmares. Like I said, they don't happen often anymore but-"

"Yeah yeah, sometimes they do. So long as you talk to someone if it gets bad. Go back to sleep Black. I won't tell anyone." The hazel eyed girl got up and headed back to her own bed where her text book was still lying open. Astrid slowly closed her curtains and cast a silencing charm. She was going to have to be more careful if one of her dormmates was noticing.

* * *

><p>"You have <em>got<em> to be kidding me! I should've skipped class today." Astrid was grumbling under her breath as she and James moved to line up. Lexi looked over her shoulder at them with a worried glance. This lesson was going to be fun! Yeah. Right.

"It's not that big a deal As, everyone has to face their fear and it's going to be on the final exam."

"Fine, quiz me on the practicality of it and knowing how to use the charm! But don't make me face an actual boggart!" She was getting more and more agitated by the second and it was starting to show since the other students were moving away from her. James laid a hand on her shoulder.

"You have got to calm down. Just remember that it's only a boggart and the only thing you have to fear is a failing grade. Professor Carrigan won't let it go too far." His words did little to reassure her.

"Says the boy who has no idea what I'm afraid of. I'm not kidding Jamie...this is bad." The Gryffindor couldn't deny that he didn't have a clue what Astrid was afraid of, seemingly nothing. Though the way she acted he knew very well that wasn't true.

"Black, your turn."

"Crap...Professor I really don't-"

"Now please Ms. Black." The man left no room for argument and Astrid was forced to go in front of the boggart. It took one look at her and started to change form. She knew already what it would turn into. The thing that had given her nightmares for days as a little kid. Something her father had told her wasn't real. That it would never come for her because it didn't exist, but here he was. Here was the same seven foot tall frame and muscular build. The same black hood that was over his head last time...and the same giant silver ax in his hands.

The werewolf executioner.

Astrid stood frozen looking at the monstrosity that her fears had brought to life. Even down to the silver gauntlets on his hands. The man raised his ax toward her. Astrid brought up her wand but the words were frozen in her mouth. Quickly she closed her eyes and imagined the most docile thing she could think of. If she didn't see the executioner then she wouldn't be afraid. Just as the blade was coming down and someone was shouting her name she screamed out the spell. When the blonde opened her eyes the monster was gone. In it's place stood an unstaring corpse.

"Oh thank Merlin...much less lethal. I think I'll call him Geoffry." A few students were looking at her like she was crazy. Who would think a decaying corpse was funny and/or not dangerous? Even the professor was stunned for a moment before calling out the next person, who happened to be James. His greatest fear as it turned out was a minotaur. Huh, who knew? He turned it into a lamb instead. Once the class was over the boy pulled her aside and into an empty classroom.

"Was that an executioner As? You looked petrified...I've never seen you like that. Why would you be afraid of being executed?" He had that worried look again where his eyebrows furrowed and his lips were pulled down into a frown. His face wasn't meant for frowns.

"It's from a nightmare when I was little. I used to read about werewolves being executed simply because they were wolves and that was what my mind came up with for the werewolf executioner. His ax is silver...it was a childhood fear but it's the one thing I've feared above all others. I guess I still do. It's nothing to worry about, honest. And what about you? A minotaur?" James' cheeks grew just a tad pink with a faint blush.

"Yeah. Greek myths Aunt Hermione used to tell us. I mean come on, you gotta admit that thing was creepy." Astrid nodded, it kind of was.

"Come on, Jamie. Let's go get some lunch."

* * *

><p>"You sure you can't come over this summer?" Teddy rolled his eyes as James asked for the twelfth time if Astrid could visit. His sister was doing the exact same thing he was too.<p>

"No, I really can't. Like I said, Daddy wants me home. Besides, you'll have all your cousins this summer and lord knows I don't need that many people around. What we got now is more then enough for me, thanks. I will write though. I swear." The oldest Potter wrapped his arm around Astrid.

"So not fair. You better write though, and we can catch up in Diagon Alley. Teddy's coming to get you again this year for that right? So he can get you and bring you when we go. Or grab me and then the three of us can go. I don't know. Something. Summer is too long to not see you. You are my best friend after all."

"Oh I'm sure you'll be fine Jamie. Though we might be able to kidnap her and bring her to dad's shop. What do you say Teddy? Kidnap the Black? I'm sure you won't put up a huge fight right As?" Fred came up on the other side of Astrid as he joined the conversation. She snorted in laughter.

"Oh yes, because the first kidnapping attempt went so well. No, I think I'll just stay home this summer. I'll poke him about next year though, I swear. Oh, I gotta go, there's Merrick. I'll see you guys next year. Bye!" The boys gave her a group hug, James being the last to let go. Lily waited till she had broken away before giving her one as well. The red head had grown to quite like Astrid over the year. She was a spunky girl that wasn't afraid to be smart and fun loving. Lily found that interesting. Almost as interesting as how her brother acted around the Ravenclaw.

"You're pack is growing cub. You just keep gaining more of them don't you?" Merrick started to push her cart as the blonde fell into step with him.

"It's not my fault, honest. I'm not trying."

"Oh I don't doubt that. You've just got that kind of energy. People are drawn to you, living or dead. It's just who you are." Astrid groaned.

"Great. So I'll never be left alone. Peachy...hey, do you know if there are records at home of the facilities?" Merrick stopped for a second and gave her an odd look.

"Why do you ask?" She shrugged and started walking again. She honestly didn't know why she was looking. It's not like she believed anything the alpha wolf said...still. Something was grating at her. Something she was supposed to know felt like it was close to her fingertips, if only she would look.

"No reason. Just...curious is all. There was something I wanted to look up. Just to see if it checks out."

"Well you'll have to ask your parents about that. Mum's the word with me on this." Astrid nodded. Ask her parents she would indeed. She had to know what the alpha was talking about, even if she didn't believe it.

* * *

><p><strong>An:<strong> And there you have it folks~ Chapter 7 is up! I hoped you liked it well enough to review. Or follow. Or favorite. Something to let me know you're reading it would make me very happy. The next chapter has quite a few vital plot points so I will try to get it up in a timely manner. Till next time~


	8. Third Year Summer

An: Yay another chapter! I had a bit of a hard time stringing the plot together in this chapter but I think I did well with it. You get to see some character interaction you haven't before so that's fun. I got a couple favorites and follows so yay! Thank you on those. Also thank you SiriusSmut and Lex for reviewing. You guys rock! Seriously. I was very flattered and delighted by what you guys said.

SiriusSmut: You are awesome and have really kept fingers typing. I promised a chapter update by the weekend and actually promised it tonight on a review I did for Believer. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed yours.

Lex: You are correct indeed! I do love writing Astrid and James scenes. They flow together so seamlessly in my head that I can't help but enjoy writing it out. I love the dynamic those two have. Also thank you for your kind words! I always like to think I'm a good writer but then I think maybe it's all in my head. I am writing an original story but it's slow coming. Lucky I don't have a deadline on that one! I am very flattered by your review. Thank you.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. JK is too awesome to be me.

Read and Review please!

* * *

><p><strong>ch. 8 Third Year Summer<strong>

Astrid was sitting on the kitchen counter eating a bowl of cereal as Teddy washed up the rest of the breakfast dishes. He had stayed the night over for the first time after convincing his grandmother that he was going to his friend Merrick's. They had a really fun night as a family. They played charades and trivia, which surprisingly Sirius won. Then they did the 'muggle thing' and watched a movie.

Teddy was even given a room that he could do whatever he wanted with. He had been quite touched at the gesture. It was even decked out in red and gold. The teen had smiled at the posters and paintings of wolves on the walls. That night he had also discovered Astrid's nightmares. Her screams had put a fear in him that Teddy had never thought possible. Sirius and Remus were already in the hall by the time he made it to his door.

They didn't explain everything but he understood that Astrid's night terrors were never going to stop. He supposed that's why she always looked so drained and tired. James was helping her somehow though, he knew that. Still, Teddy didn't let her out of his sight. He felt overly protective of her now. Astrid was vulnerable whether she chose to show it or believe it.

"Is there a reason you're sitting on the counter or are you doing it just to be in my way?" Teddy was nudging her leg as he went to rinse off the dishes. Astrid just stuck out her tongue.

"I'm eating breakfast."

"You already ate breakfast. We had crepes. Who knew Sirius could make such yummy food." Astrid snorted into her bowl.

"I've been eating that for years. Daddy learned when he found out that Grandma Lupin was a French born Beaubatons girl and Dad grew up with French food as a norm. It was actually the first thing he made Dad when they got a flat together in Godric's Hollow. It's one of my favorite stories to hear. Sweet and cute, even when they didn't have anything in the place or any idea what they were going to really do yet. I like that. Here." The blonde handed over her now empty bowl just as the sink finished draining. Teddy gave her a bemused look.

"You planned that. I think you like playing the role of little sister." Astrid just grinned as she watched Teddy clean the bowl.

"You love being a big brother, don't lie. Come on. Merrick has the files I was looking for." She jumped down and walked toward the door leading downstairs with Teddy.

"Why are you looking into them anyway? Why now?"

"Just a gut feeling is all...what are you going to do?" Astrid turned toward one of the labs where the files she wanted were. Teddy shrugged.

"I thought about going and sitting with Sirius. He's up in the control room. Figured we could talk or something. Get to know each other more."

"No, Natalie is up there today. Daddy is with Dad, James, and Lily today. They're giving the wolves their annual checkups. To make sure of no infections or changes in tox-levels. You could go check that out. The wolves generally have sparring matches and stuff. They want to spend time with you. They like the idea of another cub around."

"I'm not a cub." Astrid rolled her eyes.

"You are so a cub. You should go see them though. It'll help you get to know them. They want you as part of the pack Teddy."

"I know. I think I will go down there. You going to be ok here?" Astrid nodded and sat down in front of the large stacks of patient files. Somewhere in there was the answer she needed. Teddy ruffled her hair and left her to it. Once he was gone the blonde pulled the first file to her.

**Patient 2654**

**Sex: **Male

**Hair: **Blond

**Eyes: **Blue

**Height: **5'10"

**Age: **26

**Mate: **No

**LCF: **Wales

**Infection mark: **Left arm, bicep.

**Behavior Overview: **Docile when alone but with other wolves he becomes slightly aggressive and authoritative. Must watch. Has alpha wolf capability.

The paper had a faded red mark in the corner. Astrid tried to figure out what it was but it never appeared less fuzzy. She did however figure out what it meant. The next page in the file had a certificate of death. The man's name was Keegan Johnson and had died during a full moon when he was shot dead by guards with silver bullets. He had broken out of his cell.

She put the folder aside to start a pile. Then she opened another file to read. Slowly Astrid started to make a dent into the large stack in front of her. There ended up being several piles of files. There were two for each facility. The ones that had died there and the ones that were released. The ones that were transferred were the ones in the facility. Most she didn't realize were transfers until it said they were transferred but there were some that she realized she knew when she read the file.

**Patient 6593**

**Sex:** Male

**Hair:** Brown

**Eyes:** Green

**Height:** 3' 9"

**Age: **8

**Mate: **No

**LCF:** London - underage

**Infection Mark:** Right leg, calf.

**Behavior Overview: **Shy but defensive. Will bite when he feels threatened. Must tranquilize to do vitals. Do not let around Patient 9521! They will attack each other.

This wolf had been in the facility...brown hair and brown eyes? That sounded like-

"Merrick...this is Merrick. But who was patient 9521? You don't fight with anyone." Astrid continued to dig through the files to find patient 9521. After an hour she found it.

**Patient 9521**

**Sex:** Male

**Hair: **Light Brown

**Eyes:** Hazel

**Height:** 3'2"

**Age:** 5

**Mate: **No*

**LCF:** London - underage

**Infection Mark:** Left hip, half a bite on back side.

**Behavior Overview:** Withdrawn, unwilling to socialize. Terrified of other wolves but highly defensive and will lash out. Must restrain to do vitals or tranquilize. Hides away. Loves books. Do not allow around Patient 6593! They will attack each other!

***No mate but has a serious bond to another wolf. See patient's admission record.  
><strong>

Astrid quickly turned to the admission record sheet only to find it gone. The record was missing from the file. Huh...who was this wolf. That mark sounded very familiar. Like she should know off the top of her head but somehow didn't. The blonde grabbed both Merrick's and this unknown wolf's file and set them in the desk drawer before heading out to find Merrick.

She found him in the middle of a sparring match with Teddy. The wolf had years of fighting experience but her brother was holding his own quite well. Astrid stopped next to her father.

"Hey sweetie. I thought you were going to be in that room with the dusty files all day." He had his arms crossed as he watched but there was a smile on his face.

"I figured I would come join the nonliving and live a bit." Sirius's smile turned into a grin.

"I have such a weird daughter."

"Well she takes after her father that way. Teddy still fighting?" Remus had come up behind them and placed his hands on As's shoulders.

"Yeah, he's really good. I think it's the natural fight instincts of the wolf."

"He didn't have the lycanthrope virus cub. Teddy was cleared by the LRFR." Sirius shrugged at Remus.

"I don't know babe. He seems to be coming into them. Born wolves sometimes develop the gene as they age and hit maturity. It's possible. Besides, the LRFR only tests for the virus, not the gene. He may have the gene. Would it be so bad if he has all of us around?" Remus frowned a little. He still didn't like the sound of his sound being infected.

"I never wanted him to go through what I did. I'm fine with the hellhound. The change doesn't effect me anymore but for him it'll be painful. And he'll have scars all over. He won't ever-"

"Dad. Born wolves are different. They are different in just about every way. Oh!" Astrid cringed when Teddy was finally pinned by Merrick. They knew he would eventually lose but her brother held out longer then they expected. He was helped back up in a second and both boys came over to them.

"Your son fights like a good wolf. Want to go a round Remus?" Merrick was grinning up at the tawny haired wolf. Remus gave a toothy smile and nodded. Astrid was about to ask Merrick about patient 9521 when he turned around back to the sparring ring. Her father took off his over-shirt and followed his pack mate.

"Wow, Dad is toned. Nobody ever mentioned that. Was he always that way?" Teddy was standing with Astrid and Sirius as they watched the fight begin.

"Even in school. It's one of the things I loved about him. He was wiry and toned and so strong. It was always so...intense to be with him." The blue haired teen made a face.

"Too much info Sirius. Way too much." The vampire grinned.

"Sorry. I just mean that I loved how strong he was but he rarely let himself use it. Your father almost always went a more...diplomatic approach. Don't let the scholar mask fool you. Remus is insanely powerful." While he was indeed powerful, Merrick was holding his own against him. It was like his wolf side came out with a vengeance. It didn't make sense since they were good friends. Merrick was third in command to the pack behind Remus and Sirius. James was just after him in line. Astrid didn't understand until the younger looking wolf ripped off the undershirt Remus was wearing.

Then she saw it.

The half bite mark on his left hip. On the back side. Suddenly all the times she saw the mark came back to her. She knew she had seen that mark before!

"He's patient 9521." Sirius and Teddy looked down at her.

"What mei-mei?"

"Dad! The mark on his hip. It was his infection mark." Her father frowned at her.

"It is. What about it?"

"Why is it only half a mark? Why only the top half of wolf's jaw? Why not the bottom set too?" Neither of them had an answer for her. Which was just as well considering Remus had just pinned Merrick. That fight was definitely more then just a play fight. Perhaps that old anger was still there from when they were kids. But why were they fighting as kids?

* * *

><p>Later that night after dinner when Astrid had finished her shower and was in her jammies she wandered downstairs to find her father sitting in one of the two high back chairs reading a book.<p>

"Where's Daddy and Teddy?"

"Teddy was owling Victoire, Harry, and Fred and then packing his stuff to head back to his grandmother's." Astrid frowned as she moved to curl up in the other chair.

"Does he have to? I never thought I would like sharing you with someone but I love having him here."

"I do too and Sirius has grown surprisingly fond of him now that he got past Dora being Teddy's mother." The small blonde nodded.

"I never doubted that. He's your blood Dad. Of course Daddy would love him. Teddy's a good soul and Daddy loves the thought of having a son, even if not by blood. Told me once that he had thought of kids when he was younger and never imagined having a girl. It was always a boy."

"Astrid-"

"But that he figured that was a good thing because he could never have imagined a daughter as wonderful as me." Remus smiled at her as he set his book aside.

"That is very true. I never imagined having children at all and here I have two. Two I couldn't imagine not having now." Astrid smiled at her father and pulled her legs up, watching the golden eyed man for a moment.

"Why is your infection mark only half a bite mark?" Remus looked up at her in surprise but in a second the look was gone.

"There was something in front of me when the wolf got a hold of me. I got lucky." She doubted that somehow. Remus' voice hesitated for a moment before he said lucky.

"What about you and Merrick fighting when you were kids? Or the other wolf you are connected to?" Her questions clearly threw her father off guard and made him suspicious.

"What-where did you hear about that?"

"I found Merrick's file and it mentioned not allowing him near another patient so I went looking for that file...it was yours. I know because of the infection mark. You were only five Dad. Who was the other wolf? And why did you guys fight?" Remus sighed and moved so his elbows were resting on his knees.

"We fought because he wanted to mark me. He told me that he felt connected to me and that he should be with me. I didn't feel that way. I was only five for one and I wanted nothing to do with wolves...much less that. I didn't want that with anyone until I realized I was attracted to Sirius at ...well, your age. That is not to say I did anything nor will I be very understanding if you do. You are my little girl and I-"

"Dad. Matter at hand here. Don't worry. I'm not thinking about that. Not anywhere close." Remus looked very relieved to hear that and nodded as he continued.

"Well Merrick tried to mark me and I attacked him. Then every time we saw each other after that we attacked. Then the facility was closed and we left. I went to Hogwarts and met Sirius and then later dated and mated him. The next time I saw Merrick I already had a mate so the fighting stopped." Astrid nodded. She understood that. But why did Merrick have such feelings in the first place? She fully believed that her parents were the only ones for each other. She had grown up watching them interact and be around each other. Sirius only ever had eyes for Remus and Remus only had eyes Sirius, even if they had had others before they mated.

She had heard of them. From what she could see they were all substitutes. All of them were similar to the one they wanted in some way or another. Though it posed the question of why Merrick had felt so strongly about wanting Remus. That was something she would figure out later.

"What other wolf were you bonded to? Your file said to check your admission record but it's not there. It said you had a bond to another wolf." Her father looked withdrawn for a moment before sighing.

"It's a wolf that's dead now. We were close and it showed. Both of us lived in the same town and were bitten by Greyback. It made us kindred spirits I suppose. That was the bond. Greyback sired both of us...we were the same age too. I guess it makes sense they would read that as a strong bond. The wolf died Astrid. They aren't here anymore and it-it hurts to think about." Remus did indeed look very pained. The blonde looked down.

"Sorry father. I was just curious."

"Curiosity is a good thing cub. Just know when to stop digging. Come on. Let's go round up the boys for dinner before Teddy leaves." Astrid nodded and got up to go track down Sirius and Teddy, pushing away her troubling thoughts for the moment. There was something there that she needed to know. She just couldn't piece it together.

* * *

><p>Astrid spent the remainder of her spare time with the files. She never found any for the MSLCF though. They weren't with all their files. But if they weren't here...then where were they?<p>

"Hey Merrick? I have a question for you." The wolf looked up at his favorite cub with a smile on his face.

"I have an answer. Shoot."

"Where are the files for the Maximum Security Lycan Containment Facility?" That caught him off guard.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I was looking at the files and realized the files for them weren't here. So I was wondering."

"They wouldn't be. We have all the files because all the LCF's were consolidated to here. So all patient files came here too. The MSLCF wasn't part of the merging so their files are probably still in the MSLCF or in storage somewhere in the Ministry." Merrick looked at her with a suspicious look. She was up to something. He knew it.

"Oh. Well ok then. I've sorted through everything. Did you really have to be tranquilized to have vitals done?" Astrid got a toothy grin in response.

"Oh I was a troublesome one. Can't tell you how many staff I attacked because they tried. I didn't know them and they smelled funny so I lashed out. It's all in the past. No one around but wolves now. Well, wolves and Sirius."

"A lone vampire in a den of wolves." Merrick snorted in laughter.

"Sounds like the basis of a novel."

"Well they are unbelievable enough to be fiction. I'll catch you later. James is going to help me hone my snitch catching skills." The Ravenclaw waved bye and headed toward the room James told her to meet him in. She found him standing in the middle of an old lab room with a set of Quidditch balls. Where did he even get them?

"Hey there Littlefoot. You ready to train?" Astrid smiled at the nickname. It had started out as Baby Padfoot and then changed to Little Padfoot and finally came to the name James currently called her Littlefoot. She didn't understand why it was only with Sirius' nickname he did this until she asked. He told her that she was more like Padfoot then Moony and Moony would've hit the ceiling if he'd started to refer to her as a baby werewolf.

It had made sense though now she knew it was really because there was already a Little Moony in the world and that was Teddy.

"Ready and waiting."

"Good answer! Now what is the first lesson when looking for the snitch?" James continued taking Astrid through the different ways to look for a snitch as well as techniques to use in catching the snitch. Then he closed the lab door and let out the golden flying ball.

"Now stay still. Catch the snitch by only moving your arms and hands. It's a small room, the snitch will come by you. Close your eyes and listen for the flapping wings. Your hearing is impeccable so use that to your advantage."

"But it's really loud in the stadium."

"You can hone your hearing into a particular noise with practice. Trust me. Remus can do it and so can you. Now concentrate. You have to use more then just your eyes to get the snitch. So take advantage of gifts you already have." Astrid did as told. It took awhile for her to get the hang of hearing the wings but once she did she caught the snitch the very next time it came near her.

"Excellent! See, I told you you could do it." James was smiling widely at her as he put up the golden ball.

"Yeah, now I just have to expand the room to the size of the Quidditch Stadium at Hogwarts."

"Harder but not impossible. You just have to train is all. Now I believe you have to get to bed. You've got a train to catch in the morning. Say hello to my grandkids for me and send me pictures!" Astrid grinned and gave the Potter a hug before dashing upstairs to bid her parents goodnight. She did have a train to catch in the morning. Tomorrow was September.

* * *

><p>AN: WOOHOO! Another chapter down. Next up, fourth year~ Hope I get it down soon. Review for me please~ I love reviews. They make me happy.<p> 


	9. Fourth Year, First Term

An: My god it's been a minute! So sorry guys. Weather has been knocking my internet out like crazy and this chapter turned out WAY longer then I expected. So much so I had to break it into two chapters when I hit 10,000 words and hadn't made it passed Christmas. So this is first term. I'm still working on the second term but I couldn't deprive you guys any more. I hope you like it~

Disclaimer: Anyone who says I don't own Harry Potter is telling lies! Lies I tell you! All lies! Ok, so maybe that was the lie. But a girl can dream.

* * *

><p><strong>ch. 9 Fourth Year, First Term<strong>

Astrid found herself on the train with almost the same people as last year and enjoying it immensely. The only difference was instead of Rose they had Lily's friend Bianca McKinnon. She remembered when she had hated having so many people around because of their voices or smells. But the blonde had found a group of people she had really connected to.

Most of the trip had been spent with her legs over James' lap and his arms resting across them. It felt so comfortable to be near him that even Bianca had pointed it out. Not that she minded, Astrid couldn't imagine a life where James wasn't her friend. Though he was smelling particularly tasty today and that worried her a bit.

"As? Is there a reason your nose is glued to James' neck?" Scorpius found himself highly amused by his cousin as he watched her nuzzle the eldest Potter's neck. Not that James seemed to mind any but still, it was distracting.

"I am doing no such thing. I'm cuddling. I'm tired and James is warm and makes a good pillow. Now hush." Astrid moved her nose away from the vein she had been sniffing and curled up against her best friend. Honestly she was just about in his lap now, not that the boy ever made a comment against it. She suspected he wouldn't care if she crawled in his lap and stayed there but that set her mind down a path she wasn't sure she wanted to venture down.

"Come on, the train's slowing down. Time to go." Teddy herded them all out and to a carriage. Lily and Bianca were quite excited at the horseless carriages. Astrid merely tried to ignore the threstals.

* * *

><p>"I swear, one of these days I'm going to string him up on one of the towers and just leave him there." Astrid kicked the ground as she walked back from detention. She and James had been separated since the teachers had learned that a lot of their pranks were planned in detentions gotten from already played out pranks. Cleaning all the lens on the telescopes in the Astronomy Tower was absolutely no fun. Then she remembered she had left her father's ring up in the Tower. She had taken off the family crest ring so it wouldn't get damaged but then had forgotten it.<p>

"It'll only take a second..." Astrid turned back to get it but then shook her head.

"No I have it tomorrow." The blonde turned back around to go to her dorm. But then changed her mind. And changed her mind again. And again. And again. Until she turned around and went to get the ring. When she came back downstairs she noticed a door that hadn't been there before. Curiosity was always her downfall and Astrid opened the door.

The room itself was unassuming. It was an average sized room with a pedestal in the center and several balls on shelves along the walls. She had never seen this room before and had honestly never heard any student mention a room like this. So...what was it?

The Ravenclaw started to look at the small globes along the walls and discovered a theme in them. All of them had a Black that was tagged to it. Each ball had a relation to someone in her family tree. This got her thinking and quickly she went searching for one name in particular.

"Daddy..." There was a globe labeled Sirius Black. Astrid picked up the ball that had swirling blueish smoke inside. It looked a lot like a remembrall if she was honest. The moment the orb was removed the pedestal lit up in the center of the room. The blonde wandered over to find that the pedestal had an indent that would fit one of the globes perfectly. This room got stranger and stranger. Still, she placed the ball into the pedestal. Suddenly the room changed. She was in the Great Hall.

"Wha-"

"Sirius Black!" McGonagall was holding a scroll in her hands. On the stool next to her was the Sorting Hat and the boy coming up to sit down was none other then her eleven year old father. What was this?!

"GRYFFINDOR!" The whole of the school had fallen silent as a young Sirius got up to go over to the table of red and gold. This was her father's sorting. This was his memory...but how could she see this?

"Look at that. Looks like you are an alright bloke after all." Sirius was sitting in front of none other then James Potter. The similarities between James Potter I and James Potter II were astounding.

"I could've told you that James."

"Oh, and how would you have known that Lupin? He's a Black and Black's are always in Slytherin. Bad house, bad family, bad blood...no offense." The first year Remus rolled his eyes.

"He might if you insult him and his family. I don't know. Just something about him. You never felt like a bad person Sirius and I can tell if someone's bad or not. Trust me. I have a few of them in my family tree too. You're a good person. First Black to be in Gryffindor, right?"

"First Black to not be in Slytherin." Remus smiled at him all the same.

"That's got to mean something right? Maybe you were too good to be in Slytherin. The Sorting Hat knows what it's doing...at least that's what I've always been told." And there was Peter Pettigrew. The Marauders on their first day. How surreal. Sirius smiled and nodded, picking up a roll from the table as the food appeared.

The vision changed. Astrid found herself in the Hospital Wing. Sirius was still there and Remus was lying in a bed. They looked a little older now. Maybe a year?

"I figured it out, you know. James thinks I'm nuts but I figured it out. It took me awhile Rem but I put it together soon enough. The absences, the marks...I realized why it always ate at me. Why I always felt I was missing something obvious. Then it all clicked last night." Sirius wasn't looking at his friend but Astrid could see the look of utter horror and fear on Remus' face.

"Siri-" The werewolf tried to interject but Sirius held up his hand to stop him.

"I realized what piece I was missing of the puzzle that is Remus Lupin. I know what you are Rem...and I feel more then a little insulted that you thought I would hate you for it. I mean come on, you were my friend even after finding out about my family. Even after you found out my dad hunts your kind for sport. You were still my friend...why would you think I wouldn't be yours?" The boy finally looked up at his bed-ridden friend only to see tears trying to escape the golden orbs. Sirius immediately moved over to the bed and hugged a speechless Remus.

"Hey, don't cry...It's alright Remus. I'm sorry. Please don't cry."

"Y-you still want to be my f-friend?" The dark haired Gryffindor pulled back to look at the surprised boy.

"Of course I do! Remus you are one of the kindest and gentlest people I know. You wouldn't hurt a fly let alone one of your friends. You're only an angry blood thirsty creature once a month and if that's the classification for a monster then every bird on the planet should be labeled one too." The brunette couldn't help but laugh at that. Astrid smiled as she watched her parents interact. They were adorable even then. Sirius grinned.

"Seriously. They are frightening during their time of the month. They're either crying for no reason, mad for no reason, sad for no reason, or manically happy for no reason. And don't even get me started on the desire for chocolate and the questions. I mean, who cares if that dress makes your arse look fat? I don't. I could care less. Andy cursed me with boils for a week when I told her that. Completely mad they are when they're bleeding."

"Sirius. I'm not a bird."

"No but you act like one sometimes. You get achy and really cranky. James noticed it first but he's not wrong. You get really moody around the full moon. Like it makes you crazy. And you do have a real thing for chocolate. Don't try to even lie, I saw you eyeing Pete's chocolates Tuesday. Wait I got off topic."

"A little." Remus was still trying to hide a smile. He looked dazed but deliriously happy too. It was a look Astrid still saw on him when her father would surprise him with things.

"You aren't a monster Remus. Very far from it...I wouldn't want to stop being your friend just because of a furry little problem. 12 nights a year isn't going to stop me from having someone as amazing as you in my life. I'm not like my father. I hope you know that." The werewolf sighed.

"Of course I do Sirius. But most people, most sane people. Actually almost everyone, believes werewolves should be put down. That the only good werewolf is a dead one. Can you not see why I would want to keep that from you? From everyone? I find completely astounding that you don't hate me, let alone the fact you don't care. I'm dangerous Sirius. Very, very dangerous."

"But you wouldn't hurt me. You wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Sirius-"

"No Remus. You aren't a monster. End. Of. Story. You're my friend. My very good friend. And I wouldn't trade you for the world." Sirius hugged Remus again before producing a bar of Honeyduke's finest. The surprise and delight in the Gryffindor's eyes returned. Chocolate was the quickest way to end an argument with Remus Lupin.

"I have to get to class. Someone has to take notes for you and Merlin knows Pete and James won't take them down right. Don't lie. You hate how they take notes."

"I hate how you take notes."

"That's because I don't take any. But, for you, I will. Just work on getting better Rem. Eat your chocolate, it'll make you feel better. I'll be back at lunch ok?" Sirius started to move toward the door before he turned back around for a moment.

"By the way, I told James and Peter and they said if I'm right, they don't care either. You're still Remus to us. You'll always be Remus to us." Astrid knew that her father may not have known it then but in that instance he had won the golden eyed boy's heart. She could see it in his eyes. Though she doubted even Remus knew that was the moment he fell in love with Sirius.

The scene changed again to find Sirius in the library. He was pouring over a book when she was pulled out and back into the mysterious room.

"What is this place? It's like a pensieve orb but how is that possible?"

"Hogwarts." Astrid jumped at the voice and turned around to see the Grey Lady standing in the room with her.

"What?"

"Hogwarts. This is the Room of Requirement it shows the thing you require. Though it cannot conjure food. But you must have been thinking about the Black family for it to appear like this." Astrid looked confused for a second before she realized she had been debating going back for her father's ring and walking back and forth in the hallway.

"I guess I was, yeah."

"This particular room does not appear often since most students don't know it exists. But this version of the Room is even rarer. Hogwarts is alive Miss Black. She sees all within her walls and she remembers. There are things that have happened here. Things she can't forget. Those moments are kept within her walls. Have you ever heard the saying 'if these walls could speak'?" Astrid nodded as she watched the Grey Lady float around the room.

"Well this is her way of speaking. The memories that Hogwarts can't forget are stored here. Each person to have walked into this castle has-what did you call it? Oh yes, a pensieve orb. Each person has one. You simply thought of a particular family so all in that bloodline appeared in the room. The moment's of a person's life that Hogwarts can't forget are stored in one with their name.

"Some people have more then others. I assure you the pensieve orb on Harry Potter is quite full. But these, are her memories. The good and bad of every student and teacher to have graced her walls. It is quite a peculiarity that she allowed you to see such a room. Perhaps she thought she could help you in some way." So all of those globes were pieces of history.

"Hogwarts' memories. That's what these are? And every person has one?"

"Indeed. I dare say even you have created a few unforgettable memories for this school. I'm sure you have one building too."

"Could I come back here? I mean to watch more." Helena Ravenclaw led Astrid back outside and watched the door disappear.

"If you think about that room I don't see why she wouldn't allow it. After all, you got in the first time."

"Thank you, for telling me what those were." The ghost of Ravenclaw nodded and wandered away. So Hogwarts remembered things. Moments in time that imprinted on the castle. She wondered how many her parents had. Or how many Hogwarts had of her already.

* * *

><p>"Sirius what are you doing?" Astrid was back in the pensieve room as she had taken to calling it. James was at practice and she wanted to see more. Past James had found Sirius in the library.<p>

"Trying to find a way to help Remus. All the books on werewolves say to 'put a silver bullet' in them. I'd like to meet these authors and put a silver bullet in them." James looked at his best friend concerned.

"Sirius...I want to help Remus too but-"

"Don't say it James. There **has** to be something! I can't just-I can't sit by while he destroys himself every month. I have to do something."

"But what can you do Sirius? Remus will attack any human when he's wolfed out." The Black's head snapped up.

"What did you say?"

"What? Wolfed out? Yeah, Pete came up with it."

"No no. The attack any human part."

"Oh. Well werewolves attack any human they find. It's why they're so dangerous."

"What about animals?" Sirius got up to look for a book as a very confused James followed.

"What are you onto Black?"

"Animals Potter. Do werewolves attack animals?" Astrid watched her father look frantically for a book while James was still looking like he had lost his mind.

"Uh, no. Wolves only crave human blood. That's what our DADA books said anyway. Why?"

"Animagus James. We could become animagi. McGonagall is one. She can turn into a cat, remember? If we turn into animals then we won't be human and we could help him. We could sit with him so he isn't alone on the full moon. He said he attacks himself because he doesn't have anything to distract him. We could distract him!" Sirius held out the book to his best friend. It was all worked out in his head. He just had to get the others on board.

"This looks really complicated Sirius. It's illegal to do it without the Ministry's involvement and tracking."

"Since when have rules stopped us?"

"When they could get us in Azkaban Sirius."

"Come on James. It's for Remus. I can't just do nothing for him...and besides, this has it's usefulness. We could do a lot of things with the ability to turn into an animal. Think of the possibilities!"

"Like distracting a werewolf so he doesn't hurt himself."

"Exactly! You, me, and Pete. We could do it." Astrid could see the gears turning beneath the mop of messy hair. James knew it was a good idea.

"Only if we tell Dumbledore what we're up to. That way we are at least telling an authority of some kind. It's not like he can stop us if we're that determined."

"Fine. Let's go get Pete. I want to start on this as soon as possible." The boys walked right through Astrid and the room changed again. They were in the boys dormitory this time and Remus looked completely exasperated.

"You're going to what!?"

"We're going to become animagi. Look we've been working on it for months now Remus. We want to help you."

"And THIS was your idea of help?! Sirius I could kill you. You know that right? I could maim and hurt and KILL you!" The 14 year old Black was off his bed in an instant when he noticed just how upset Remus was.

"Rem calm down! Look, we've done our research alright? Wolves don't harm animals. They only want humans and while animagi are humans in animal form they don't smell like humans. We can help you. This **will** help you." Despite his trying Remus wasn't having any of it.

"No. You can die if you do this wrong Sirius. There's a reason the Ministry monitors this stuff! Please don't do this. I'm fine. Honest."

"The hell you are! Remus you realize you punctured your lung two months ago right? Punctured it! You were drowning in your blood when Madame Pomfrey got to you. It took you almost three weeks to recover completely and then you had to turn around and go back a week later. One of these days you're going to go into that Willow and you aren't going to come out. Do you know how much that scares me? Scares all of us? And this will work. It will help you I swear. I'd rather risk my life to help you then sit and wait for you to rip yourself to shreds."

"Well that's a confession of love if I ever heard one. Sirius what did I tell you about trying to shag Remus?" James had walked in clearly not understanding the situation but Sirius didn't miss a beat as he replied.

"Why not? Remus is a gorgeous creature and he should be pulled by someone who adores every aspect of him and not just his looks." The conversation had strayed away from it's original topic once again but the werewolf had long since become accustomed to that from what Astrid could see in his face.

"Guys...please. I'm begging you here. Don't do this. It's foolhardy and you could get seriously hurt. You say it and I will throw you out the window." Sirius had opened his mouth to give the often used pun but grinned at him instead.

"Someone's moon time is close. I mean it in the best way but the full turns you crazy. You're a loon when it's close to the moon." James snorted from his bed.

"You're rhyming again Sirius."

"But it's true. Remus turns looney around the full moon. He's-he's Moony!"

"Ugh, children. I live with children."

"There's chocolate in your nightstand." Remus moved over to his bed and indeed there was chocolate from Sirius in his nightstand.

"You are forgiven...for the moony comment. Not for the insane and dangerous transfiguration undertaking."

"It'll work out Rem. Have some faith."

"I do. I have complete faith you'll be the death of me Sirius Black."

"I love you too Remus." Sirius flopped on to his bed as Remus rolled his eyes and took a bite of chocolate. James shook his head in laughter.

"I doubt that's what he meant mate." The vision changed again to the Astronomy Tower. This time none of the Marauders were present. Instead it was someone Astrid wished she had gotten to know.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, Bella has been acting crazier then usual but for her that is usual. Cissy says hello." Sitting next to Sirius was a near spitting image of him. Only younger, with bluer eyes, and dressed in silver and green.

"Andy does too. She's just had a baby girl. Named her Nymphadora. She's a metamorphmagus from what her last letter said." Regulus smiled a little.

"That would be so Andromeda. Run away from your pureblood family only to have a child with a family gift. The irony. I wonder if mother knows." Sirius snorted at the audacity of his brother's pondering.

"Please. As if she would speak to anyone in our family again. I'm lucky to get letters once in a blue moon...how've you been?"

"Alright. Better then you I suppose."

"How do you figure that?" Astrid saw her father turn to look at his brother. He did look different but she couldn't place why.

"I pay attention Siri. You've still got a hand tremor...I begged him to stop but he-"

"Don't. There was nothing you could do Regs you know that."

"I could have taken it instead of you! You always take it Sirius even if I'm to blame. I don't understand why you insi-"

"You're my brother Regulus. My baby brother. It's my job as your big brother to protect you. It's my only job. I refuse to let you take that punishment." The Gryffindor's voice grew stern as he talked. Whatever the punishment was it was bad enough for Sirius to want to protect Regulus from it. But she had always thought there was bad blood between them. Had what everyone said about the brothers been wrong?

"But Siri-"

"No Regulus. End of story. I've taken it all these years I'm not going to stop now." The younger Black sighed, resigning himself to letting Sirius have his way. But what the hell kind of punishment was that bad? Astrid knew her family well and could only imagine the horrors that Orion and Walburga Black came up with as sufficient punishment.

"Fine...just please don't provoke them when we go home. I can't stand it. Please behave."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll do my best. No worries Regs." The blonde could only stare as the Slytherin got up and hugged Sirius.

"I always worry. You're my knucklehead brother."

"And you're my ensnared brother."

"I'm not ensnared Sirius." The boys started to head toward the exit.

"You are though. I worry about you too Regs." The scene started to change just as Astrid heard her uncle's soft spoken words.

"I know you do."

The blonde found herself back in the Room of Requirement. She wondered if maybe there was a set number of memories she could watch or perhaps it was time sensitive. Either way she didn't have to worry about being missing for extended periods of time. As much as Astrid wanted to dive back in she knew that practice had most likely ended and James would come looking for her. She left the room and headed back toward the Great Hall, running into Lily on her way.

"Hey Lils, what are you doing this far up?" The red head looked up in a jolt of surprise.

"Oh, uh...nothing. I'm doing nothing."

"Uh, huh. I see." Astrid headed past the girl couple steps before she turned back around to her.

"You know I know you're lying right? And you know I'm just going to follow you when you walk away and will find out what you're not telling me cause that's what older brother's best friends do right?" Well it was more of her being concerned but hey, it worked. Lily bit her lip for a moment before giving in.

"Ok. I'm up here waiting for Bianca. She went up to see Trelawney. Her classroom is near the Astronomy Tower. Anyway she said she wanted to know more about her family roots since her dad won't tell her anything about her grandparents and I was waiting here to find out the verdict. She didn't want anyone to know she had gone to see her and I'm her moral support so to speak so I'm really not supposed to say. Promise you won't tell."

"That's it? Man and here I thought I was going to get to hug you for your first prank or something cool like that. Well alright then. Carry on with the moral support bff. If it's interesting let me know. I do enjoy my juicy stories." Lily laughed as she sat back down.

"Only if B says it's alright. You kind of make her nervous." Astrid grinned at her and continued down the stairs.

"Honey, I make everyone nervous." The Ravenclaw continued on her way and eventually bumped into a very muddy James on the fifth floor.

"As!"

"Ack! Why are you so muddy?" Astrid had found herself against the wall with her best friend pressed against her. His hair was even caked in mud. How did he manage that?

"I landed in a muddy patch on the field and then slipped. When I saw you looking so clean and definitely not muddy I had to fix it. Look at that. You look good covered in mud." The blonde grinned up at James and pushed him back.

"Oh yeah, just what every girl wants to hear."

"Honestly you look good in anything but I figured I would be a little more specific then that." She didn't have to see his face to know he was grinning at the blush that had spread across her cheeks. James never failed to make her feel special but lately it seemed like her stomach was full of butterflies when she was near him. Astrid chalked it up to his maturing powers and the fact his blood smelled stronger now. The myrrh tempted her so.

"Well thank you. You're not so bad yourself Mr. Potter. But alas, now we need to go get cleaned up. See you later?"

"Absolutely. I have some ideas for our Halloween prank this year. Oh and Teddy says to come see him soon. He misses his 'insufferable mei-mei'. His words, not mine. Later As." James waved at her before continuing on down the hall. Why did he have to be so perfect? The Black smiled to herself.

"You are such a goofball. It's a wonder how so many girls have crushes on you." Crushes...oh crap. That wasn't what she had, was it? No, no. That couldn't be. James was her best friend. She couldn't have a crush on him.

But her parents were best friends before they got together...and it did make sense with how she felt around him.

"Bloody hell...I have a crush." Despite the slight feeling of dread coming over her Astrid had a smile creep up on her face. A crush was something that was innocent and yet so very dangerous. A crush had potential...and that potential could turn out very badly. She just wouldn't let it show. Crushes could fade away to nothing. That's what would happen.

"Yeah. Just a crush. Nothing major. Don't over-think it Astrid."

* * *

><p>"Ok so we set it and then go to dinner?"<p>

"Well Teddy wants us to come see him before dinner but other then that, yeah." They had planned for the pumpkins in the Great Hall to start levitating around the Hall as they got larger and larger while a spell showed a mirage of people at a masquerade ball dancing about. The dance would end and the dancers would fade away into a dust that changed each person's clothes into a costume for the holiday. Like muggles did. Then the pumpkins would explode and shower the Hall in candy. Then music would start up and a Halloween party would begin.

It was a fun prank that they figured the students would enjoy and the staff would be mildly agitated with but not stop it. She honestly couldn't wait for it. James finished the spell on the pumpkins as Astrid cast the timer charm for the dance show and music. This would be a really fun birthday. James pulled her upstairs to the Gryffindor common room where Teddy was sitting with Fred playing a game of chess.

"Mei-mei! Good you're here." The blue haired boy stood up to give her a hug.

"Hey, you know you can't win this game right?" She was looking down at the chess board. Fred was grinning at her. He was gong to win.

"No the game isn't over yet."

"Yes it is. You have three moves left you can play and no matter which way you go you get a checkmate. You move your rook and Fred's knight will take it. You move the pawn and it becomes a queen but then Fred's queen will take it. And the only thing you can do then is move your king but the only way you could go from there is to the left and Fred's rook will checkmate you. You can't win. Sorry Teddy." Teddy looked down at the board to see if there were any other moves he could make. He cursed when he realized that she was right. He was going to lose.

"Bollocks. Rematch Fred but first...for you. I had a little birdie tell me what today was." Astrid smiled when Teddy picked up a cake that had been hidden behind him. Along with a present wrapped in royal blue paper.

"Teddy..."

"Everybody deserves a birthday cake. And this is something I think you'll like." He always knew how to pique her curiosity. The blonde ripped the wrapping paper and opened the box to find a new set of chucks.

"Yours were looking a bit ragged again and since I know how you feel about your shoes...well, I figured it was a safe bet."

"When's your birthday Astrid?" Fred looked up from the chess board where he had been directing the pieces to reset.

"Today. It's not a big deal."

"Today!? Wait, I've known you three years now and am just now finding out that your birthday is Halloween?"

"Not a big deal Fred." The ginger teen scoffed at her.

"Of course it is! Birthdays are important. I don't have anything for you..."

"It's really not and you kicking Teddy's butt at chess is present enough for me." Her brother rolled his eyes at her as Fred laughed.

"Happy Birthday then."

"You two have to come to dinner. It's going to be fun!" The pair of boys gave them a look that clearly said they figured that was a lie. James held up his hands.

"Honest. This year is just plain old simply wonderful fun." It took a bit more then that to get them to the Great Hall but Astrid finally used 'it's my birthday' on them and they agreed. Which was amazing for her considering she never thought that would be a valid enough reason to get someone to do something. She wasn't about to point that out though. It was halfway through dinner when the fun started. The dancers were so mesmerizing that even she forgot about the rest of the prank. When the costumes changed she about had a heart attack.

The spell changed people's clothes into the costume of the creature they were most on the inside. Like a couple of her house were fairies and there was a Slytherin that was a troll. What really scared her was her own costume. She was an inferi. A living dead creature.

"Wow you look creepy." Astrid looked up to see Scorpius.

"Are you an angel?" He held up a sword.

"An avenging one apparently. You a corpse? That doesn't seem right. You live more then anyone I know."

"It's irony. Not a fan of it today." She stood up to head over to her friends at the Gryffindor table.

"Wow."

"What?"

"Lily. She's beautiful." The youngest Potter was dressed as a fairy in light green clothes. She did indeed look like a fae-child. Albus was dressed as a knight and Fred was dressed as fox, another irony she was assuming. Teddy didn't find his costume amusing either considering he was a werewolf. The blonde knew she was going to get a talking to about that. Then her eyes settled on James. Oh James. He was dressed as a griffon. A true to the bone Gryffindor that boy. He looked up at her in shock.

"Never thought you'd look scary. Why are you a corpse?"

"I believe I'm supposed to be an inferi." Albus raised an eyebrow at her.

"Does that mean you're dead inside? Bianca are you a rat?" Lily's best friend had come up behind them and took a seat on the table.

"A mouse. I don't find it very funny."

"It's fits you though McKinnon. Being a mouse. You are quite mousy."

"Ha ha Potter. Why did you guys think this was a good idea? Dear Merlin what are you?"

"Something dead." The pumpkins above exploded and showered them all in candy. Once it was over Astrid found she was no longer a walking corpse but something red with feathered wings.

"Dead and reborn again. I may have put a spell on the pumpkins to put you in something red. You look good as a phoenix As." How did he do it? Somehow James always made her feel better. Indeed she was a phoenix. The red feathers trailed all her body on a reddish-orange dress with matching tights. The sleeves themselves were feathered wings.

"You put a spell on the pumpkins to put me in red?"

"Yeah, wanted to see you in Gryffindor red and it was the only way to make sure you were." Astrid nearly jumped in his arms. This was a much better costume then an inferi. The music started up as the tables disappeared. The party was on.

They got four days detention.

* * *

><p>"Sirius I thought I made it clear I didn't want you guys doing this! Why don't you ever-ah!" Remus found himself on the floor with a giant black dog above him.<p>

"What the..." The dog turned back into Sirius, who was now straddling Remus.

"We did it Moony."

"Stop calling me that."

"Not a chance. That's your new nickname. We did it though! James can turn into a stag, Pete's a rat, and I'm a dog!"

"Yeah one that looks like a Grim or a Padfoot. Now get off me." Astrid smiled at her parents as Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus and rolled off of him.

"Padfoot. Hey that wouldn't be a bad nickname for you Sirius." James was sitting on his bed watching his friends. Her father sat up and thought about it for a moment.

"Yeah, it would. That's it. I'm Padfoot now."

"It's a creature Sirius, not a nickname."

"Well it is now. Besides it fits me. I'm the dog star and dogs have padded feet." Remus sat up and a wry smile. The realization hadn't sank into him yet Astrid was guessing.

"That's why the creature is called Padfoot. The first things people hear are it's padded footsteps and the clanking of chains. It's similar to the Grim but it isn't an omen of death of the person who sees it. It's not a predatory creature more of one that likes to spook people. A very mischievous creature if I'm honest. Perhaps it is a good name for you." The look that crossed the werewolf's face was one Astrid had only seen a couple times in her life. It was one of complete disbelief and shock.

"Oh god. You did it. You actually did it! You're all animagi?" Sirius grinned at him with a look of utter delight.

"Yep! We did it for you Remus. You don't have to be alone now on the full." Remus Lupin wasn't one to cry, especially in front of people, but in that moment he couldn't have stopped them no matter how hard he tried.

"Whoa Moony...don't cry."

"You did it. You-you really did." Sirius moved over and hugged Remus. James and Peter moved over to them.

"'Course we did Remus. You're our friend. We'd do anything to help you." Remus tried to reign in the emotion on his face. He had the best friends a guy could ask for and Astrid had to agree. In their time the boys' acceptance was quite a rare occurrence.

"I have to be the luckiest guy ever to have you for friends."

"Nah, we're the lucky ones Moony." Sirius smiled softly at the boy he was realizing he had a deep affection for. Astrid could see it in his eyes and she knew it was getting closer to the moment they actually got together. The scene changed again to one of her father walking down the hall, his hand twitching a bit. The person behind her was one she had yet to see in his memories but it was one she quickly recognized.

"Come on Black. You have no problem tormenting me with all your friends around but you won't when faced with me alone?"

"Go away Snivillus I don't want to deal with you right now." Sirius was making his way back to Gryffindor Tower but the Slytherin wasn't making it easy. He kept poking him though. Finally the Black turned back around with his fists balled in fury.

"Get the fuck away from me Snape or I will put you in the Hospital Wing. I have important things to do and your greasy self is not worth my damn time at any point in the day let alone this one." He started to turn away again to keep heading to the Tower.

"I know the secret. The one you try to hide. I'm going to tell everyone tomorrow at breakfast and let's see how the student body takes that." Sirius stilled. Astrid could see the look of complete distress and anger on his face. What secret though? The one of her father's lycanthropy? Or was it another secret she didn't know?

"What did you just say?" The animagus turned back around, his voice was deathly calm.

"You heard me Black. Got your attention yet?"

"You think you know the secret huh? That you figured it all out? Well how about you go through the Willow and get that proof you clearly don't have. There's a knot that you can hit with a spell that stills the tree. Go on then you slimy bastard. Go get your proof if you think you have it all figured out." Snape did look a bit disconcerted by the wild look that had come across Sirius' face but he quickly disguised it.

"Fine. I will. Don't think you're going to stop me Black. I will tell everyone." With that the boy turned away from her father leaving a horrible feeling in her stomach. Astrid had an inkling of what this was and when the scene changed she knew she had been right.

"How could you!? Are you out of your mind Padfoot? That is his life! That's Remus' life you're fucking with! That's my life you endangered. Mine and Snape's and Remus'! Do you have any idea what would have happened if I hadn't gotten him out of there? Death! He would've been bitten or killed and they would have sent Remus to his DEATH! There would have been no second chances or leniency Sirius. He would have been taken and shot with silver! You risked his life for what? A prank? A good laugh? That's not ok. That's no where near ok. That's a line we don't cross and you crossed it. You are so lucky he wasn't hurt." Remus was still completely out on the hospital wing bed. Sirius kept looking over at him with guilt written all over his face. How could he explain? What could say that would make this better?

"Prongs I-"

"Leave."

"But-"

"Leave! Now. You don't deserve to be here. You don't deserve Moony's friendship and I really wouldn't want to be you when he wakes up and finds out what you did. Leave Black."

"James I-"

"Get out!" James had picked up bedpan from the table and threw it at Sirius. He took the hint and left. The vision changed again to a hallway on the fourth floor. Astrid watched the scene with a knotted stomach.

"Moony! You're ok. Thank Merlin. I'm so-"

"Don't. Don't you dare tell you're sorry. I've forgiven a lot with you. I've overlooked a lot with you but this? You put my life at risk. You put James' life at risk. You sent Snape to certain death and all for a laugh. My whole existence could've ended because of you. I trusted you Black. More then anyone I trusted you. I stood up for you when people would stuff about you and I defended you against them. I believed you were different but this just proves how unbelievably naive I was. I'm not anymore. I see you for what you are. A horrible, backstabbing, god-awful menace. You are just like the rest of your evil family. Congratulations. You proved just how much of a Black you are. And I refuse to associate with **your** kind. You are nothing but scum Sirius Black and as far as I'm concerned you don't exist. You are dead to me, you hear? Dead!" The werewolf turned away from a devastated Sirius without a second thought. Her father tried again though. He couldn't lose Remus. Not Remus.

"Moony please I-" Sirius was shoved back by the tawny haired Gryffindor.

"Don't you dare! Only friends can call me that and you are no friend of mine. You're a bastard! An evil bastard who only cares about himself! Leave me the fuck alone. Don't you ever come near me again. I want nothing to do with you. Now leave. Me. Alone!" There was a low growl that escaped Remus as he shoved Sirius one more time before walking away. Astrid watched her father crumble to the ground as the scene faded and she found herself back in the Room of Requirement. There were tears running down her face. She felt both anger and sadness for Sirius. She knew he had given up Remus' secret to Snape but she had never expected such a blow out. Never had Astrid seen the werewolf so angry before.

"I wonder how Daddy got him to forgive this." Astrid sighed. She wanted to dive back in. But it seemed like just when things were getting good she would have to head back to the present. The girl headed out of the Room and back into the chilling cold of the winter swept castle. The holidays were upon them and everyone was going home, including her. Teddy wanted to spend Christmas with Sirius and Remus this year and the requirement from her fathers was her presence would also be required. They were going to have a complete family Christmas this year.

Astrid just wasn't sure how she was going to face them knowing the things she did now.

* * *

><p><strong>An: <strong>Yay for the chapter. Sorry if I lost you guys. It was an idea I had that would give a bit more history to Sirius and Remus and allow Astrid to understand her fathers better. Also, her whole hang-ups on birthdays will be explained later in the story. There is a reason behind her weird aversion to birthdays. Next chapter will be up within a week, internet and muse willing.

Please leave a review. They keep me motivated.


	10. Fourth Year, Second Term

An: Oh my goodness it's been a minute. I'm so so SO sorry guys! This chapter was harder to write then I thought it would be and it also kind of got away from me. (13,000 words people.) But it's here now! And I know some of you may get mad at me and I feel like maybe I went a little OOC for some of you guys but I promise it will be alright. Please don't yell at me for it. I hope you all enjoy the really long chapter and leave me a review at the end, even if it's just to yell at me. ;P Seriously though, totally sorry for the long wait. Also, I had to bump up the rating with this chapter.

Special thanks to **Neon Domino** and** SiriuslyAbsorbed** for helping to keep me sane and focused on this because it really did get away from me and you two know that quite well. My thanks do not express how deeply grateful I am for that but it will have to do.

**PS**: Go look these two up ^ They write amazing, wonderful things!

Lex: I hope this chapter explains the things you weren't understanding or were surprised/confused by. If you still have questions feel free to pm me with them.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Sad, I know.

**WARNING! This chapter may contain harmful triggers for people! Please read with caution if you are susceptible to ED's and self harm.**

* * *

><p><strong>ch. 10 Fourth Year, Second Term<strong>

Christmas Eve happened sooner then either Teddy or Astrid had anticipated. The holiday was going by quick. Though Teddy had found himself completely at ease in the London townhouse. Astrid knew that due to the fact he calmed her too. She had been a constant ball of anxiety while at home and had felt very intrusive with her father's past when she faced him.

After all she was watching it like a movie and he had no knowledge of it. Invasion of privacy came clearly to her mind. But she also knew that she couldn't stop. Astrid's curiosity was going to get the better of her and once back at Hogwarts the pensieve room would be too much of a temptation to ignore.

"This is going to be fun. We even did something a bit crazy. Astrid, no dying on us." Sirius looked both a little apprehensive and excited. Oh dear Merlin...what did her father do?

"You know when you say that something always ends up going wrong. Last time you said those words Daddy we had decaying muggles up and moving about." Oh what a day that had been. The smell never did wash out of her dress.

"This is a good thing. You'll see. Or at least that's what your father keeps saying."

"It is a good thing Sirius. They should be able to go out with their parents on Christmas. It's the normal thing to do. It's the **living** thing to do." Remus had come into the room with a tray of tea and biscuits. Astrid's eyes widened in shock.

"Out? As in, out out? Like, out there? In the real world? Well not that this isn't the real world in here but out there is chaotic and beautiful and alive! We're going outside? All of us? For reals?!" The anxiety that had been eating away at her had suddenly turned to overwhelming joy and disbelief. Her parents **never** went outside! And Teddy had picked up on why.

"But what if someone recognizes you? The wizarding world bleeds into the muggle one a lot. Aren't you worried about someone seeing you?" He didn't see the smack to his head coming.

"Shut your face Teddy! We're going outside! Do you have any idea how rare that is? This is the first time I'll have ever seen them out. It's going to be awesome~!"

"Ow! I'm being realistic here As. If someone recognizes them they might come looking." Sirius grinned up at Remus who shook his head.

"Look, our kids fight like real siblings." The werewolf rolled his eyes as he answered in his normal sarcastic fashion.

"Yes, because that's what we wanted to happen. Guys! Hey, we took precautions. We're going to a private box at the theater and will be wearing layers so it's harder for people to get a good look at the face and the restaurant has a secluded table. Besides, we've both been dead a long time. As long as people from our old lives don't bump into us we will be fine. Which I doubt will happen. It's a calculated risk but with a lot of reward. It'll be alright Teddy."

"What are we going to see anyway?" Astrid was suddenly trying to figure out what to wear. She didn't have a lot of 'going out' outfits. In her defense, this was the first time it would ever be happening.

"We are going to see A Christmas Carol at Apollo Theatre. Figured it might be fun. Remus vetoed the circus."

"The circus sounds like fun."

"Don't start Astrid. We're going to a play and dinner. It'll be a nice Christmas Evening. My family used to go see this play on Christmas Eve when I was little. It's tradition. And a good one. Go get ready. We have reservations at 5:30 for dinner." With that Remus sent his children upstairs to get ready. Thankfully he had thought ahead and gotten them clothes to wear. Sirius gave him a level look.

"Something's up with her."

"I know. Can't put my finger on it though." The werewolf felt his mate stand up and wrap his arms around him.

"I can. I know that look. I had it plenty of times growing up. It's the look I had when I feared my parents would snap at me or punish me for something I'd done." Remus turned around to face Sirius, concern written on his face.

"But what would we punish her for? She's done nothing wrong."

"Oh Astrid's done something she thinks she'll get in trouble for. We just don't know what it is yet. Whatever it is though, it's making her nervous and antsy."

"Talk to her tonight about it?" Sirius nodded against Remus' shoulder.

"Talk to her tonight. Come on, let's go get ready. Since you're dragging me out of the house and into the world again." Remus laughed softly as Sirius pulled him upstairs.

"It's a good thing Sirius. It's time for us to venture out a little bit."

Astrid was standing with her fathers and Teddy outside the theater, waiting to go in and get seated. Sirius, Remus, and Teddy were all in tuxedos with red ties. Astrid was in a ruby red dress and tall boots to match.

"James would kill to see me in this." Teddy laughed as they made their way inside.

"He does have a thing about you and red." Sirius raised his eyebrow at the pair.

"Oh does he now?" Remus had an odd look on his face as they got in their box and sat down.

"He thinks Gryffindor suits me. It's nothing really." They let the subject drop as the play started. Astrid found she quite enjoyed it and by the way the rest of her family looked, it seemed they did too. All but her father. Remus didn't seem to enjoy the play as much as he had said.

It was almost like a black shadow had fallen over him between the Ghost of Christmas Past and the Ghost of Christmas Present. He had only gotten more sullen as the play went on. She didn't know what caused the change but Sirius eventually picked up on it too and asked if he was alright. The werewolf simply nodded and took his hand. His mood brightened back up once they were outside the theater.

"What now Dad?" Teddy was standing next to Sirius and Remus with Astrid's arms looped around his. His father looked deep in thought for a moment before he smiled.

"Want to walk for a bit and look at the Christmas decorations?" Astrid looked up at Teddy and without a second thought both of them nodded. Remus smiled as he wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist and started to walk down the street.

"Happy Christmas family. Happy Christmas." Sirius and Remus never did have their talk with Astrid.

* * *

><p>Three days later and Astrid couldn't hold it in anymore. She had to know why her father blew up like he had. She understood the betrayal but Remus Lupin was not a violent person and she had a really hard time seeing why he turned so violent, even with the transgression that Sirius had done.<p>

Remus, however, proved hard to find. It took nearly an hour of searching before the fourth year found him in a no longer used lab. He was staring at the equipment, deep in thought, when she happened to find him.

"Dad? What are you doing in here?" Considering he wasn't surprised by her presence Astrid assumed he had smelled her and simply had waited for her to speak.

"Just thinking. I come in here sometimes to do that. No one comes in here anymore but this is where everything happened. Did you know this was the lab I was first examined in when I entered the underage LCF?" His golden eyes settled on her when she sat down. It was odd for her to be in this room. After all, she avoided this room like a plague.

"No, I didn't. You remember the lab you were in when you came here?"

"Oh I remember a lot of things from my time here. It's not something easily forgotten my dear cub. Kind of branded into my memories. There are some things you just can't forget...even if you wished you could." Sounded a lot like Hogwarts actually.

"Dr. Jillian was a nice doctor. She was kind and honest. She didn't lie about how bad it would hurt or how long something would take. She treated me like a person. First one to do so outside my immediate family. Made me cry the first time we met. She reminded me of Carina so much that I cried. I startled a couple of lab techs when I did too. But Dr. Jillian cradled me in her arms and talked to me, soothed me until my tears were gone." Astrid was almost afraid now. Her father was never like this. Sirius, yes, all the time. But Remus? Never. What had gotten into him?

"You alright Dad? You seem...off."

"No. I'm just thinking. There's a lot I try to forget and sometimes it catches up to me. One day I'll tell you all about it Astrid. One day." Remus sighed and moved to stand.

"What happened to her? The doctor lady?" Her father's expression grew sad.

"She died. She was protecting one of the other wolves and got in the way of a silver bullet. Dr. Jillian may not have been allergic to silver but a bullet kills all the same. This place was closed down not long after that. She was a good woman..." Remus started to turn to leave when something he said struck out at Astrid.

"Who's Carina?" Whoever it was froze the man in place. He turned back with a guarded expression. Why was her dad acting so weird all of a sudden? He had never been like this before.

"What?"

"Carina. You said Dr. Jillian reminded you so much of Carina that you broke down into tears. It's someone important considering it's my middle name. Who was she?" A war broke out within Remus as he debated on what to tell her. The conflict was evident in his eyes before he sat back down in front of her. Truth was always better then lies, even if they were half truths.

"She was your aunt, my older sister. High spirited, like you. Carina was the kind of person that just pulled you to her. A lot like your father actually. She used to read me, it's where my love of books comes from. The first one she read to me was Peter Pan. Her voice would lull me to sleep under the willow tree. It's my favorite thing to remember about her. She was always so warm and fiercely protective. I loved her very much and I wanted to honor her so I named you after her."

"What happened?" The curiosity burned inside her but Remus shook his head. He refused to dive into that memory. Not a chance in hell.

"Something far too horrible for me to tell. I have to go my darling. I'm sorry if I have been a little short. I've had a lot on my mind, though that's no excuse." Astrid smiled at her father. He was always so considerate.

"It's fine Dad. I actually had a question though. It's about you and Daddy, when you were in school."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. When he, uh, outed you to Snape...what made you snap like that? I understand how bad of thing it was but from what I s-heard it was really bad. I was just wondering why." Remus gave her a look of surprise.

"The things you ask about child, I swear. In all honesty it was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Sirius is not a perfect person. No one is. All the years I had known him I had been his friend. And all those years I had been on his side. I rationalized and even defended his rather horrible treatment of others for a long time. I forgave his blunders and his mistakes without end. He was the boy I loved, what could I do but accept his faults? But then he gave up my secret to Snape, something that could have gotten me killed. Gotten a lot of people killed and he did it for a laugh.

"After everything I had forgiven that was just too much. I was angry and sad and I felt completely betrayed. The boy that I loved had done the worst thing he could do to me without putting a silver bullet in me himself. I was hurt and it all just poured out in anger. It took a long time to forgive. I probably wouldn't have if James hadn't taken a beater bat to me. It still took a long time to fully trust him again but I'm glad I did. My life wouldn't have been the same without him. Stay out of trouble Astrid. I love you."

"Love you too Dad." Remus left her to her thoughts. So it was just a build up of things that made him snap like that. Still. The look on Sirius' face after Remus had walked away from him haunted Astrid's mind. Teddy found her still in the lab twenty minutes later.

"There you are mei-mei. Dad said you were in your lab. I didn't know you had one. What do you do in here?" The blue haired teen sat down in the seat Remus had vacated. She rolled her eyes, a smile playing at her lips.

"I don't do anything in here. It's an unused lab now. This lab is mine because it's where I was born. Sort of." Born wasn't the right word for it. More like came into existence.

"Speaking of births. What is with the birthday aversion? It's really weird you know. Everyone loves birthdays." Astrid gave Teddy a long look. This family had so many secrets it was ridiculous sometimes. Sighing she got up and moved so she was sitting in one of the incubation tubes that had been used for studying the lycanthrope virus.

"That's the point Teddy. Birthdays. I wasn't born. Halloween is the day my incubation was complete. I wasn't conceived or carried in a body. I grew out of a weird medical mishap in this lab. I grew for nine months in this tube I'm sitting in. When I was fully formed, this tube depressurized and opened up. Birthdays are a celebration of a child's birth and I wasn't. I wasn't born, so why celebrate? That and every time I've had a birthday party something goes horribly wrong. Exploding pipes, walking corpses, blue moon riots...it's all happened." Teddy was watching her closely as she spoke. So, she was a test tube baby?

"I get it. I really do, As. But it's also really stupid."

"Stupid!? Teddy-" Her brother stood up and grabbed her hand, placing it on her chest.

"You feel that? It's your heartbeat. It means you're alive Astrid. And one day a year marks another year that it kept beating, breathing life into you. You may not have been born like the rest of us but you were born. You were given life and to not celebrate that is a serious grievance. You are alive Astrid. You cried for the first time, you were held for the first time, and your birth was celebrated for the first time on Halloween fifteen years ago.

"But you were loved far sooner then any other child could ever hope to be. You were loved from the instant you were conceived. From the moment whatever accident it was that caused your existence, you were loved. Because they knew you were coming. You are so lucky and so blessed As. Just because you didn't come out of a person doesn't mean you weren't born." Oh Teddy...he was something else. Astrid smiled softly and hugged him.

"Well, when you put it that way...you're the best you know that?" She felt his arms wrap around her and hold her close. It did seem stupid when Teddy explained it.

"I know. But it's nice to hear. You going to stop being an anti-birthday girl now? Because I'm sure James would love to throw an extremely over the top Mischief Night birthday party." The blonde laughed as Teddy let go of her.

"I don't doubt it. Though I'm happy with the birthday prank we pull every year."

"The rest of the school is probably not as happy about that but hey, it's no worse then the rest of the stuff you two do. Come on, let's go get dinner. I think Lily said she was making a beef stew or maybe it was chili? Some kind of warm delicious soup."

"Probably cheesy potato soup. It's one Daddy requests. Dad always asks her to add asparagus or broccoli to it. And James always makes a face when she adds the broccoli." Teddy smiled as he followed her back into the main complex.

"And let me guess, Sirius always makes a face at the asparagus?" The young Black grinned at him.

"How'd you know?" Teddy gave her a toothy smile in return.

"Just a guess." Lily had added mushrooms for Teddy.

* * *

><p>"And then we had this huge snowball fight. It was a complete free for all. Even the adults joined in. Then Fred and I joined up to take down Dad and Uncle George. Did you know that Aunt Hermione is actually really good at snowball fights? Her and Rose took down all of us! We were all completely soaked by the time we came in. But Grandma had warm cocoa for everyone and plum pudding. Then we got to hear stories about Christmas' from when my mom was a kid. It was an awesome Christmas. How was yours?" Astrid was watching James with a smile on her face. He was always so full of energy. She was like that too...when the sleep deprivation wasn't getting to her. The facility hadn't shown up for a while but the endless whispers she heard when asleep still kept her from rest.<p>

"My Christmas was quite normal actually. The whole family went out and saw a play and ate dinner at a restaurant. Then we walked around London and looked at the decorations. It was a nice night. You would've liked my dress." The blue-eyed boy raised an eyebrow in interest. It made her heart flutter at the look he had. That crush was taking it's sweet time going away.

"Would I now? Well, what did the dress look like?"

"It went down to about my knee. It had a velvet top with this embroidered floral type of design on the bust and neck. Oh and did I mention it was red? The velvet was a deeper shade but the dress was a ruby color. And I had knee high boots to match."

"Did you bring the dress with you?"

"Nope. It's at home in my closet." James fell back onto his bed with his hands covering his face.

"You tease me Astrid! That would've been a great dress to see you in. Red looks fantastic on you. It really is a travesty to the world for you to be in blue and bronze." The door to the dorm opened up as James' roommates came in. Everyone was slowly making their way back from Christmas break.

"Black do you ever leave? I swear I rarely ever come in here and not find you in here if James is up here." Astrid stuck out her tongue at the caramel-haired boy that had spoken.

"Nope. I'm moving in here. Apparently red suits me better then blue so you're stuck with me boys. Sorry Lucas."

"Cause we weren't already. You're in here as much as we are, and this is our dorm. Don't your roommates ever wonder why you're never there at night?" Wait, they knew she slept here? How long had they known that?! The shocked look on her face was mirrored in James' judging by the immediate reassurances they got from the four boys. Eventually one of the boys yelled to stop all the overlapping voices. His brown eyes settled on her with a soft look.

"No worries Astrid. We've known since late second year. I came to wake James up and found you there too. None of us have said a word and since you two are so ridiculously close we figured James would raise hell if we did. That's if you didn't beat him too it. Besides, you're cool. For a Ravenclaw. Your secret's safe with us."

"Yeah, chill out blondie. Seth's right. We haven't said anything yet have we? Just know if you keep this up eventually you will have to interact with the rest of us too. It's not fair for Jamie-boy to hoard a hotness such as yourself all to himself. He has to share you. Ow! What the hell Luke?!" The well built teen that had been talking had gotten a hard punch to his shoulder.

"Don't disrespect her like that Dan. You're lucky she doesn't have a wand handy or you could be missing vital bits right now. You do realize she's behind their spell-work most the time? Girl isn't in Ravenclaw for nothing asshat."

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"Whatever. Ignore him Astrid. Daniel is a few gobstones short of set." Lucas was quite an understanding guy Astrid was realizing. It made her smile.

"It's alright I have a few people at home like that too. But on that note, I really do actually have to get back to my dorm. Something about Violet getting a new 'beauty box' and wanting to have a girl's night. I don't know but my presence is required from what Rosemarie said." The blonde hopped up off the bed and started toward the door.

"What the hell is a beauty box?" Zane, the fifth boy in the dorm, asked.

"Got me. I'll find out soon though. You boys have a good night. See you tomorrow Jamie." A beauty box it turned out was a makeup kit on steroids. A makeover kit would've been a better description. Astrid vowed never to let Lexi near her with makeup again.

* * *

><p>"How am I supposed to get him to forgive me Prongs? He hates me. I mean really honestly hates me...I don't know what to do. Every time I try to apologize or talk to him I get yelled at or told off in that cold voice he has. Or worse. I'm ignored." Sirius was sitting on his bed facing James. It seemed that at least one of the boys had started talking to him again over the summer. By the way it looked, Sirius had run away during the summer and was now living with the Potters.<p>

"I know Pads but you have to be patient. Think about what almost happened to him. He's having a hard time dealing with it too."

"Really? Because according to Leny Travitz he's doing just fine." James winced at the mention of the Ravenclaw a year ahead of them. Astrid wondered why but it didn't take long to figure out.

"I was hoping you hadn't heard."

"How could I not? They were caught snogging on the third floor James...he's dating him. Screwing him if what I heard from them saying was right. He completely ignored me and made sure I heard. He's punishing me Prongs. He's punishing me in the worst way." Sirius laid down on his bed with a groan. The anguish on his face was plain as day to Astrid. Was it just her or did he look different? He certainly wasn't the same Sirius she saw in the memories before Christmas.

"Give it time Padfoot. I'm telling you. Remus will come around. You know how he is. He can't hold a grudge long...this just really hurt him. **You** really hurt him."

"But I-" James held up a hand. Clearly this conversation had been going on for a while before the memory picked up.

"I know what you did Sirius. I know what you've gone through for him but he doesn't. And I pray to any god that will listen that he never finds out. Because if Moony finds out he's going to go off the deep end. Pissed at you or not, no one lays a hand on you without him retaliating." Sirius snorted in derision.

"You're full of it Prongs."

"I'm being serious here. And not you Sirius but actually serious serious. Remus doesn't let you get hurt. He's protective of you above anyone else. Or haven't you noticed all these years? He keeps his eye on you and anyone who has ever taken their hand to you has been hexed horribly not three hours later. People think it's me or you that does it but they're wrong. I figured it out after Rosier beat you into a bloody pulp and put you in the Hospital Wing back in third year.

"Moony came unglued when I told him you were unconscious and had several broken bones. He had this look in his eye that I'd never seen before and he left the tower. Came back an hour later and said 'Rosier won't be touching him ever again.' Found out at breakfast that he had been hit with so many hexes and curses that he ended up in the Hospital Wing himself for four days. McGonagall gave me two weeks detention for it. Moony was going to confess but I took them for him because he defended you a right sight better then I could have."

"That was right before the moon though. The wolf was closer to the surface and things get at him easier in those few days." James ran a hand through his hair, he wasn't really sure what else would make Sirius feel better. The boy had become very dependent on the werewolf that was currently shunning him. How the hell he ever survived without him was a mystery at this point.

"Look, what I'm trying to say is that Moony doesn't hate you. He will come around eventually. He's too invested in you not to. Just give him a little space and he'll start to miss you. Time Padfoot. That's all he needs. Space and time." Sirius sighed and nodded.

"Alright. If it gets him to at the very least talk to me without looking at me like I'm scum then I'll be happy...I really miss him."

"I know Pads. I know." The scene changed to the common room. There weren't a lot of people there but Remus was in the corner playing chess with Lily while Sirius sat by the fire, alone.

"Not good enough. Not smart enough. Not loyal enough...not good enough..." The blonde could barely make out the whispers her father was saying but what she was catching wasn't good. The curtain of black hair parted as Sirius looked up at where Remus was sitting. He definitely looked different to her now. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was more angular then it had been. Why did he look pale? He was shaking again.

"Gotta be clean...can't have it. Must get rid of it." Astrid noticed Sirius scratching at his arms like his skin was crawling. What the hell was going on with him?

"You can stop looking over here Black it's very disrupting." Lily was looking over at him in irritation and to her utter surprise he looked away from her without a fight.

"Ignore the vile waste of space Lily. He's not worth the breath. Check." This comment seemed to surprise the red head even more. Apparently Lily Evans didn't know what was going on within the Marauders.

"Remus I-"

"I don't want to hear whatever is about to come out of that mouth of yours. It's nothing but lies and deceit. Can't you just go crawl back into the hole you came out of?" Sirius shut his mouth and looked down at the ground. Astrid could see the small war going on inside of her father. The passive side won in the end because he got up and left the room without another word and the scene changed again.

Sirius was sitting with Regulus again. The blonde knew she wasn't imagining it now. The elder Black was getting thinner.

"So I heard he's iced you out and you're trying to get back in his good graces."

"Yeah...it's not working though. James thinks he'll come around soon."

"But you don't think so." Regulus looked over at his brother, watching him shake his head. He just didn't understand it.

"I know, by the way. I figured it out a year or so back. I kept it quiet because it's Lupin and I knew you wouldn't forgive me if I did tell." Sirius looked up at his younger brother in alarm.

"You know what Dad would do right?"

"Yeah I know. It's why I've been silent about the whole thing. Plus I couldn't have my brother going to Azkaban for killing my father because my father killed the beast my brother is in love with... What? I'm not blind Siri, though I think Lupin has to be to not notice."

"You won't tell?" Regulus looked up at his older brother and sighed.

"No. Besides if he's been able to fly under the radar this long it's got to mean something. I just hate how he's treating you Sirius. You don't deserve that."

"No I really do. You don't know what I did to him...it's something I wish to god I could take back." The Slytherin looked at his brother with a keen eye. Astrid could tell he noticed the drastic change in the boy too.

"Is he really worth all this Sirius? Is he worth your life? Because if you don't stop what you're doing it's going to end up killing you." Sirius kept giving him a surprised look. Did he really think no one noticed?

"He's worth a thousand of them Regulus. And if this is what it takes then I'm going to do it."

"That's ludicrous. Starving yourself isn't going to make him forgive you. If anything that know-it-all Prefect will think you have no brain. You're better then this. Better then he is, don't grovel at his feet like a kicked puppy." Sirius gave a hollow laugh.

"That's where you're wrong baby brother. Remus is so much better then I could ever hope to be. He's kind and gentle and smart and witty and so very brave. What he goes through every month-"

"Is nothing compared to what you endured at home." Regulus looked up into stormy gray eyes that were near identical to his own.

"Regs..."

"I mean it Sirius. The guy goes through excruciating pain one night a month and has aches, what four days around it?"

"Sometimes a week."

"It still doesn't hold a candle to what you've done. I have no doubt that your so-called best friends have no idea what happens within the House of Black but I do Sirius. I know what you've done, I've seen it, and trust me. Lupin is not better then you." Regulus had poked his brother in the chest. Sirius had never been like this before and it honestly scared the Slytherin fifth year.

"I swear Sirius if you end up dead because of this insane mission of forgiveness you're on I'm going to hold him personally responsible. No one should make you feel inadequate, especially some halfbreed." The scene changed as Regulus walked away and Astrid found herself in the Gryffindor boys dorm. All she saw was red. There was a puddle of it on the floor between Sirius' bare feet. Her horrified eyes traveled up the drops of blood to see the river they were pouring out of. Her father, the most easy going, fun loving, happy go lucky guy she knew was slicing his arm all to hell. And then watching it bleed.

"Oh my god...Daddy..."

"Gotta get clean...gotta get it out...not pure enough...not good enough...gotta get the bad blood out..." His words only served to frighten Astrid more. She visibly flinched when he drove his wand closer to the skin, using a cutting curse to rip the flesh apart. This had to be a nightmare. Sirius would have never done this! Not this...

"Hey Remus you up here? I'm just-oh my god!" Lily dropped the book she had been holding, startling Sirius and causing him to jump. Which caused an even deeper gash on his arm. He didn't seem to noticed.

"Black what the hell are you doing!? Oh my god. Give me your wand." Lily reached out for the wand but the sixteen year old boy pulled away immediately.

"No! No you can't have it! Evans get off! Let go! I need it, stop it!" Despite the fact that she had to step in the puddle of blood on the floor and ended up with it all over her shirt, Lily didn't stop fighting Sirius until she had his wand. Then she forced him down on the nearest bed and grabbed his injured arm.

"Are you out of your mind?! You could kill yourself doing this! Good lord Sirius..." He watched silently as Lily healed the wounds and then cleaned the blood away.

"You just called me Sirius. You've never called me Sirius."

"Yeah well I've also never caught you trying to dissect your arm either. What were you thinking? I know you're smart enough to know better." Sirius looked at the ground, scratching lightly at the arm Lily had healed.

"You don't understand. I have to get better. I have to get clean. There's too much bad blood." His nails were starting to dig into the newly healed skin. What the hell had happened to the vibrant troublemaker all of Hogwarts knew? Had no one noticed this before? Surely this wasn't his first cutting episode considering how he was talking.

"Look at me Black. There is nothing wrong with your blood. Your brain is another story but your blood is fine. What the hell has gotten into you?"

"It is bad! It's awful and horrid and evil! Makes me evil. If I can just get it all out then he'll-" Astrid watched as her father realized what was going on. Someone had seen him! Lily Evans saw what he was doing. He immediately clammed up, pressing his lips into a line.

"Sirius? He'll what? He who?"

"No one. It's nothing Evans. You're right, this was stupid. I lost it for a minute but I'm ok now. Thank you for stopping me." Even as ill as he was, Sirius could still lie through his teeth when needed.

"Black I-"

"I'm fine really. No harm done now that you've healed me up. Let's just keep this between us, yeah?" The pair heard footsteps on the stairs and Sirius realized he was sitting on Remus' bed. The boy jumped up as if he'd been burned and grabbed his wand.

"I'm not here Evans. Whatever you do, don't mention me." Lily stood there confused and honestly Astrid couldn't blame her. Her father had lost it. Sirius quickly moved to his bed and closed the curtains just as the door opened to reveal none other than Remus, James, and Peter. The memory faded and Astrid found herself back in the Room of Requirement, tears still trailing her face.

She knew Sirius' sixth year had been bad and had almost gotten him sent to Mungo's but she had never thought it was this bad.

"Daddy what did you do to yourself?"

* * *

><p>"10 points to Ravenclaw! Brings the score up to 160-190 Gryffindor. The snitch hasn't been spotted yet by either Black or Potter." Astrid was currently in the upper part of the stadium looking for the shiny golden ball that would ensure her victory against James. The loser was to buy the other dinner at Three Broomsticks that weekend. It was a kind of game they had going on within the game itself. Though the blonde had to admit it was hard to concentrate when her best friend looked that good and at ease on his broom.<p>

"Ignore it Astrid. It'll go away if you ignore it." James looped around her while she was searching the arena.

"You don't ever move do you? Odd seeker you are As. Can't wait to have you buying me dinner." A horn blew signalling another goal.

"Score for Gryffindor! Ravenclaw is having a tough time keeping up with red and gold today. The Gryffindor team has been on fire all season and with two games left I doubt that Captain Isabelle Teague is going to let them slack off now. What's that? Looks like Black has the snitch in sight and Potter is right behind her!" The golden ball that had been so elusive had just flown past a bludger headed toward her. Astrid dived down quickly, avoiding the bludger, and giving the snitch chase. She knew more by gut instinct rather then commentary that James was coming up on her left. He was a better flyer then her, though she wasn't keen to admit it, but she was smaller and therefore faster. Plus her reflexes were slightly better. His were Quidditch honed seeker skills, hers were naturally given with the lineage she held.

That didn't mean she had the advantage though. James' reflexes were bred in this environment and hers weren't. In truth, Astrid knew it would be a close call to get the snitch. Oh but she wanted that victory. James was right next to her now and both of them were inches from the snitch. She glanced over at him and smiled. Then did the absolute craziest thing she'd ever done and jumped off her broom.

It fell to the ground since there was no magic holding it in the air anymore. Her right hand grabbed a hold of the golden snitch and her left was snagged by James. Just as she knew it would. He pulled her up onto his broom, making sure he still had a firm hold on her. The crowd was going nuts but there in the arena, it was pleasantly calm.

"You crazy ass Ravenclaw! You could have been seriously hurt from that stunt, you know." Astrid grinned at him and kissed his cheek.

"I knew you'd catch me. You always do." James shook his head and guided his broom to the ground.

"Insane. My best friend is certifiably insane."

"But you love me anyway." That got a laugh out him. Once safely on the ground he allowed her to move away from him. Astrid was immediately surrounded by her teammates and house. She never heard James' remark.

"That I do...that I do."

* * *

><p>"Come on Moony! You can't tell me you haven't noticed! Honestly all of Hogwarts has noticed by this point and if you weren't so busy with boys you would have been the <strong>first<strong> to see it!"

"Don't you dare Prongs! What Davis and I do is none-"

"Davis!? What the hell happened to Leny? This is what I'm talking about Remus! You're too busy caught up with your boyfriends that you can't even see it!" Astrid was standing in the middle of the Gryffindor boys dormitory watching James and Remus argue. For a moment she wasn't sure she'd grabbed the right pensieve orb until she saw Sirius in the doorway, looking torn between bolting and speaking up.

"I don't care about him James! The bastard deserves all he's gotten."

"Sirius has done more then enough to prove to you that he's-"

"That he's what James? Sorry? Because I don't think there is a damn thing he can do to **ever** make up for that. Except maybe jump off the Astronomy Tower. And all that groveling? Does he really believe I'll forgive him with that?" Astrid watched the scene unfold with growing unease. This wasn't going to turn out well.

"Remus-" James had caught sight of Sirius in the doorway. He knew the boy wouldn't take much more. Hell, Astrid barely believed he'd taken as much as he had.

"No. I'm done playing nice about it with you so you need to hear this once and for all. It's pathetic and so is he. He has no right to ever expect forgiveness and to think I would by his incessant pleading is beyond pathetic. It's just downright sad and makes him a fool. He's a waste of no good rotten Black skin and doesn't deserve my forgiveness. He doesn't deserve yours, though you gave it to him. Honestly I just wish he'd crawl in a hole somewhere and leave me the hell alone. I'm done with him, Prongs, and there is nothing you can say or do that will make me forgive that lowlife piece of shit. Understand? So give it up already."

"Pathetic? Waste of skin...lowlife." The words sounded so broken that Astrid's own heart broke just hearing them. Remus turned a cold eye to the boy in the dormitory doorway. His anger was still burning strong.

"Should just give up, huh?"

"That's exactly what you should do because you're wasting your breath and my time. Nobody wants you around Black, least of all me." What little hope left in those stormy grey eyes died. Sirius had truly lost all faith.

"Fine...I-I give Remus. I give." With that Sirius turned and walked away. James looked stunned as he watched his best friend surrender. That was a first. Sirius Black never gave up. Remus however looked relieved.

"Finally..." The scene changed to the Astronomy Tower with her father sitting on the ledge. He wouldn't jump. That much she knew considering she was alive. But the fact that he was here worried her.

"You jump off that Tower and I swear to every God out there I will turn to the dark arts just so I can resurrect your ass and kill you all over again for doing something so stupid." James moved over and sat next to his best friend. Or at least what was left of him.

"You said he would forgive me. You said all he needed was time and some space..."

"I know. I really thought he would notice by now. Hell even Wormtail noticed. That's when you know it's bad." The jokes weren't having any effect. Sirius just seemed like an empty shell now.

"Davis, huh?" The Potter winced at the mention of Remus' latest boyfriend.

"Yeah...you know they're both kind of like you. Leny has your hair and those unbelievable cheekbones and Davis has your sense of humor and eyes that are sort of like yours. He's trying to fill the void Padfoot. Moony might not realize it but I do. He'll come around. He has to...you're his favorite." The hollow laugh James received made Astrid feel cold inside.

"Favorite!? Prongs you realize it's been a year now? 12 whole months of him hating my guts and me getting nothing but pain and heartache. I tried ok? I gave it my very best shot and guess what? He still hates me! Thinks I'm not worth the air I breath and maybe he's right. I'm certainly not his favorite...not anymore. Not after what I did." James grabbed a hold of Sirius' arms and shook him.

"Snap out of this Padfoot! Look, I love Remus, and he's a great guy but dammit he isn't worth your life ok?! Stop this. I mean it...tell me what I can do. Tell me how I can help you because I just don't know anymore Pads and you're scaring the hell outta me, ok? You've gone to this really dark place and I can't seem to reach you anymore so tell me how to help you. I can't just sit by and watch you self destruct anymore. I won't! Sirius look at me! I can't sit here and watch you die." The desperation in James' voice seemed to stir something within her father but only for a moment. The two most terrifying words Astrid had ever heard Sirius Black utter were in that moment.

"Then don't."

The scene changed again. This time Sirius was outside by the lake. He was only in his school robes and judging by the time of year it had to be near or below freezing. He was certainly pale. Almost blue...and only a fraction of the size he used to be. This boy in front of her was no longer the father she loved and adored. This was a stranger. A broken soul within the ghost of a shell. He didn't react to the coat being put around him but after all she'd seen, Astrid was surprised by the person who had wrapped the coat around Sirius' small frame.

"You'll catch your death out here doing this, you know." Remus sat down on the ground next to him. Sirius didn't even react to him. He just kept staring at the lake so Remus cleared his throat and tried again.

"James was right. Had I not been so angry I would've noticed sooner. I'm surprised at myself for not noticing sooner...I never would've thought you were this stupid." There was still no answer from the Black boy. The silence was near deafening to Astrid.

"The moon's in a few days, if you're up for coming with I know my wolf misses you." Sirius just kept staring straight ahead, ignoring Remus like he had done to him in the beginning. Finally the werewolf couldn't take anymore.

"Say something Sirius." His name finally got a reaction. Slowly he turned to face the boy he loved so much with dead eyes.

"What do you want me to say? I've said everything I could possibly say to you in the last year. I finally do as asked and give up and here you are not a week later, talking to me. I'm out of words Remus. There's nothing left I can say." Sirius turned back to look at the lake. How could her father let it get this far? How could Remus allow this to happen? Even with what happened it should have **never** gotten this bad. Wasn't he watching him!? Wasn't he concerned when he stopped seeing him? How could the man who claimed to love her father so much let him get inches from death when he could've stopped this ages ago? Suddenly Astrid was very, very angry with Remus Lupin.

"Then how about I give you some? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put you through so much hell but dammit Sirius I was hurt! I thought I could trust you above everyone. I thought you were the one person I could faithfully say would never betray me. You almost got me killed and I was hurt. I wanted you to hurt. My wolf wanted you to hurt. I wanted to punish you and break you after what you did...I just didn't realize I had already done that months ago. I was just so angry. I'm sorry, and I forgive you. Truth be told I think I forgave you awhile ago I just never let the anger go. Not until I really got a look at you and saw what I'd done. What you'd done to yourself...please come inside. It's cold out here."

"I don't feel it anymore. It's how I can say I love you with the complete faith that you'll never hear it Moony. You'll never know just how much you meant to me. I love you more then anyone or anything. I didn't realize just how much until you were gone from my life but that's how it goes doesn't it? Don't know what you've got till it's gone. I'm truly sorry for what I did and if I could take it back Merlin knows I would. But I can't, and I've tried everything I could think of to be worthy of you again but that was a pipe dream. I wasn't worthy of you to begin with was I? Still, doesn't change the fact I love you and you'll never know. I wish I could tell James I'm sorry. He had to watch me do this to myself. But maybe he'll understand one day. I hope so.

"It's funny, the things you dream up when you die. I figured it'd be a bright light or something like that. Instead I get a vision of what I wanted most. Funny...dying doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Cold and dark, but at least the last thing I see is you. Even as a figment of my imagination, you're still very fit Remus. God I love you. Find happiness yeah? Find someone you love, who makes you feel whole and don't let them go. Don't do what I did and throw it all away. Just be happy, ok?" Sirius thought he was dying, or already dead. Astrid knew she was crying again. His sixth year had gotten very very bad indeed. It was a wonder he wasn't admitted to Mungo's anyway at this point. Remus had a similar look of horror on his face when he realized what Sirius was talking about. Without another thought the werewolf picked him up and headed to the castle. The scene changed again and Astrid was in the Hospital Wing.

"Why didn't you come to me sooner Mr. Potter if you knew this was going on!? Starving oneself is a very dangerous thing and it's never something that should be kept secret. You should have spoken up the moment you noticed something was off." Madame Pomfrey's stern voice filled the room. Remus, Peter, and James were all sitting around Sirius' bed. He looked a little better but not by much. At least his lips weren't blue anymore. The Gryffindor chaser looked down at the ground.

"He swore to me he was eating. That he was just going to the kitchens to get it instead so Moony wouldn't have to see him and get pissed off like he always did." Remus looked troubled by that as he turned his amber orbs back to the sleeping teen. He hadn't even realized Sirius had been avoiding him. Madame Pomfrey clearly didn't buy that.

"You mean to tell me that you kept quiet because you had the word of the person starving themselves that they were eating? And you **believed** that Mr. Potter. That's what you're telling me?"

"It's Sirius! Anyone else and of course I wouldn't but come on Poppy this is Padfoot and Padfoot doesn't lie to me. Not once since we met has he ever lied to me. So all of a sudden I'm just supposed to take six years of friendship and throw it out the window because I see him get smaller? People lose weight when they're stressed and he's been working himself bare all year for something that I was honestly thought he could get. **Clearly** I didn't understand how stubborn a werewolf could be in holding a grudge. So yes, I trusted him when he said he was eating.

"I also trusted him when he said he was cutting himself to bits but Evans has told me otherwise in not so nice terms that he lied to me on that too. And I truly thought my other best friend would wake the hell up and see what Padfoot was doing to himself and finally stop it but noooo I had to take a damned beater bat to his head and threaten to bash his stupid face in if he didn't go after Sirius and take an honest to god look at him! My mistake! Won't fucking happen again." James threw his hands up in surrender. McGonagall and Dumbledore had walked into the Hospital Wing during James' rant at the mediwitch. Astrid was slightly stunned. He actually had to take a beater bat to Remus' head to get him to _**look**_ at her father? Sirius probably would've died if James hadn't threatened Remus with bodily harm...all because he couldn't let go of his anger.

"Mr. Potter please calm down. You'll wake Black up and that is the last thing the boy needs right now." The Head of Gryffindor walked further into the room, looking down at Sirius with something akin to worry in her eyes. The Headmaster and McGonagall forced the boys to tell them what had been going on and after hearing it all Minerva had to wonder why she was just now hearing about this. Eventually they left the boys to go discuss what the plan was for Sirius' care with Madame Pomfrey. Peter went off a few minutes later to get everyone food with the hopeful thought that maybe Padfoot would wake up and eat something with them.

"He looks so small."

"Of course he looks small Moony! He's been 'small' for weeks now! I told you he was losing weight. I **told** you something was wrong with him. And dammit I told you to look at him! Why didn't you look at him Remus? Do you have any idea what Sirius has gone through just to stay your friend? Let alone what he put himself through this year." Something about James statement sent alarms off in the werewolf's head. Astrid noticed it the moment those golden eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What do you mean 'what Sirius went through to stay my friend'? What don't I know James?" At least he realized he'd slipped up. James tried to backpedal and fast.

"Nothing, just the shit he gets from his family and all. They weren't happy about his being in Gryffindor and were even less thrilled when they found out he had taken to being best friends with a half-blood. Sirius thought it was rubbish and you know him and mouthing off."

"James..." There was a subtle warning in Remus' voice that held just how little patience he had left. The stag animagus opened his mouth to answer when Regulus walked through the door. Astrid didn't have time to move out of the way either and it was honestly a little disorienting to have her uncle walk through her like she was a ghost.

"Is he here? He's alive right? Oh thank Merlin. Now I can kill him for scaring me like that." The Slytherin boy rested his hands on the foot board of Sirius' bed and closed his eyes for a moment in relief.

"I didn't expect to see you here Regulus. Do your cousins know?"

"Not a bit Potter. They think I'm headed to see Binns about an essay. I can't stay long but I just had to see for myself. I told him that halfblood wasn't worth his life." Remus raised an eyebrow at the younger Black but made no attempt to move from Sirius' side.

"That halfblood is sitting right here." Blue-grey eyes locked onto Remus with a coldness that had never been present in Sirius.

"And I still stand by statement. He is worth a thousand of you. He deserves better, Lupin. Far better then you. Look after him Potter." Regulus left without another word and Astrid found herself out of the memories again. She felt like she was on a roller coaster while in the memories of her father. The emotions were almost too high sometimes. And while she didn't want to do it, the Ravenclaw made the wise decision to give herself some time before jumping back into the memories.

That was how she found out Lily's friend and the secret that no one knew.

* * *

><p>"Let's play a round of Truth or Dare." Astrid was sitting with her now normal group of friends. At least the full group of people she chose to have as company above others. There was her, James, Fred, Teddy, Albus, Lily, Scorpius, and Lily's best friend Bianca, who turned out to be pretty awesome for a Hufflepuff.<p>

"Really Fred? That's what you came up with as a game for a group of people varying in age from 17 to 12?"

"Yep. You got a better one Al?" When the green-eyed boy shook his head James jumped right into the game.

"Truth or Dare As?" The grin on his face matched her own. He already knew what she'd choose.

"Dare."

"I dare you...to eat this whole box of Bertie Botts." Really? That was it? Astrid was suddenly suspicious of her best friend.

"Whyyy? What have you done to them?"

"Absolutely nothing. I just happen to know they're all nasty flavors. You know bogie, dirt, vomit, etc. One box. Eat up." The challenge was clear and the Ravenclaw wasn't about to lose. With a look of mischievous defiance that would have made Sirius proud, she took the box of ill flavored beans and dumped them into her mouth.

That wasn't a good idea.

The taste of the awful assortment made for an even worse blend. Astrid nearly gagged on them several times and had to sit for a moment so they didn't come back up. But, once she was sure the candy would not reappear as one of it's flavors, she grinned triumphantly at James.

"Ew! I cannot believe you just did that. So gross." And to think, Astrid was going to tag Scorpius next. Instead she turned her attention to the brunette that had spoken.

"Bianca. Truth of Dare."

"Oh you are not getting me to do something like that. Truth." Oh that poor Hufflepuff. Did she not know the things Astrid would ask? A bottle of clear liquid was put in front of her by Albus, though he didn't look happy about it.

"What's that?"

"Veritaserum. It's to make sure you tell the truth B. And Merlin help you. I would have picked dare with As. The things she has you admit..." Apparently this was not the first time Albus had played this game with the Black. Bianca sighed and picked up the bottle. Why did Lily have to keep such crazy company? Once the small drop of the potion had touched her tongue she settled down for whatever question Astrid threw at her.

"Bianca McKinnon. What is your deepest darkest secret? The one you hold closer then all others. Tell us all what a sweet badger such as yourself is hiding." Bianca was trying to fight the potion judging from the look on her face but alas, no one ever got the best of Veritaserum.

"Impeterpettigrewsgranddaughter!" The words came out in too fast a rush for any of them to understand. Astrid leaned in closer, feeling as though something important was about to happen.

"Say that again slowly."

"I'm-I'm P-peter Pettigrew's grand-daughter." Silence. No body could say a word. Albus was correct. Oh the things Astrid could get people to admit. Teddy was the first to find his voice.

"I'm sorry, what? How is that possible?" Though the potion no longer had a hold on Bianca, she decided to answer anyway. They already knew now so how much more damage could it do?

"It happened in the war. The first one. My grandmother, Marlene, she was with Pettigrew. They were engage apparently and expecting a kid. Well, there was an attack on some muggles near their house and grandma Marly went to help. She was six months pregnant. She got hit by friendly fire and died. Someone managed to save the baby but my father was taken to a muggle hospital for treatment and Peter never knew. He thought they both had died.

"My great-grandmother Josie told me that was when Peter vowed vengeance. He turned on the Order and went to Voldemort's side because he blamed the Order and the muggles for grandma Marly's death. She had died protecting a muggle family. It was only after the Potter's died and Voldemort was defeated that GG-ma found out about Dad. As soon as she did, she went and got him though. Raised him from the time he was five till he was grown. Kind of surreal huh?" Everyone still had shocked looks on their faces. Who knew the Marauders really had come full circle? Each one of them had a descendent in the room...and they were all friends too.

"Surreal doesn't even begin to cover it Mouse. Ha! You really a mouse too being Wormtail's grand-daughter. Wow. That sounded weird." Astrid laughed a little at the absurdity of her words. When had her life become this? Always with the surprises and shockers now. It was never just a normal 'hey let's prank the Slytherins and turn their robes pink' day anymore. Man, days were so simple then. Teddy took the bottle of Veritaserum and poured the rest onto the floor.

"Alright, game over. That was a bit much for a game. Who's up for a kitchen raid instead?"

* * *

><p>Days passed slowly after that as February became March, March warmed into April, and April turned to May. Astrid found herself once again drawn back to the pensieve, unable to stay away anymore. So with a brave face, she dived in again. The memories picked up again where they had left off with her and she was in the Hospital Wing once more.<p>

"You don't have to sit here Remus. I know you'd rather be in class or studying with Davis." Though Sirius tried to hold it in, his voice still came out harsh on the boy's name. Remus however didn't bat an eye. Apparently this wasn't the first time it'd happened. Instead he kept moving around food on a plate.

"I'd honestly rather be here then anywhere else. Since I can't trust you to look after yourself I'll have to do it for you, now open your mouth and eat Padfoot."

"I hate asparagus Remus. You **know** that."

"They're green beans Sirius. Now stop it and eat. You need nutrients and so help me I will shove nutrition potions down your throat if you don't eat. Trust me, they are foul. Besides, you can have ice cream if you eat everything." Sirius took the fork full of greens and ate it. This seemed to have been a recurring thing since they seemed comfortable around one another...some what. Sirius still looked like he wanted to hide but at least he was awake and slightly healthier.

"There. Now finish your food." The werewolf watched his friend pick up the plate and start to finish eating the meager amount of food. He hated that Sirius couldn't eat more then that but Madame Pomfrey said to start small and slowly work up to full meals again. For now several small ones would have to do. Once Remus was satisfied that the Black was eating, he settled down in his chair with a book.

"What's that?"

"Hmm?"

"The book Remus. What is it?" Amber eyes met grey for a moment before the storm clouds looked down. He'd have to break him of that eventually. Astrid wondered if Remus had been shocked at what his cruelty had done. She supposed so knowing her father but then again...how well did she know him if this was anything to go by?

"It's a book on addictions and personalities. Did you know you can be addicted to pain? Some people are so addicted to it that they inflict it upon themselves. And there are certain personalities that are more prone to addictive behavior then others but all people are capable of developing an addiction to something." Sirius looked a bit scared by the statement. Astrid didn't understand the relevance.

"W-why are you reading something like that?" Remus sighed and set his book down again.

"Because of you Padfoot. You worry me. I thought you were really going to die on me and it terrified me to know I had pushed you to it because I refused to forgive you and let go of my anger. Then I find out all this stuff you've done to yourself while my back was turned and it only made the guilt worse. So I wanted to find out what would push someone to do what you did. And I realized you were addicted."

"I was not addicted to pain."

"Not the pain Sirius. Me. You were addicted to me. And the sudden withdraw put you into a tailspin and you did whatever you could to compensate for the loss."

"Remus I-" The werewolf held up a hand to stop the protest he knew was coming.

"What I don't get is why me? Why would you become addicted to me? Trouble, mischief, chocolate, those I understand but me?"

"I'm not addicted to chocolate."

"You buy four pounds of it every Hogsmeade trip."

"Yeah. For you. I buy the chocolate for you." This seemed to surprise Remus. Astrid felt herself smile at his confusion.

"Why?"

"Why? Because you're my friend Remus! You're my friend and you were always so happy when you got chocolate so I always made sure some was on hand. You're the chocoholic, not me."

"That's a lot of money Sirius you didn't have-"

"I know I didn't have to Remus. I don't **have** to do anything technically speaking. But I wanted to. Everything I've ever done for you I did because I wanted to and honestly a few galleons every Hogsmeade trip is well worth the look of bliss you get when you take a bite of Honeyduke's finest." Remus smiled, giving up on the conversation. His smile only grew when Sirius returned it with one of his own. The scene changed and Astrid found herself in the Gryffindor common room.

"I can't believe you. Really Remus? I already ate a full plate at dinner." Sirius was sitting in a chair by the fire with his lycanthropic friend standing above him, holding a plate of food.

"Yep, and you are going to eat another. It's not as full. You used to eat two plates at dinner every night."

"Yeah, because I was constantly moving around and had an overactive metabolism. I'm honestly full, go bug Davis with it." A growl of frustration met Astrid's ears as Remus set the plate down, moving to sit next to her father as he did.

"Why do you keep saying that? Davis this and Davis that? What the hell does he have to do with anything?!"

"Well you're dating him so I'd say he has a lot to do with a lot of things. I don't think he'd appreciate you spending all your time looking after me. I promise I won't go jump off the Tower or something." Remus' eyes narrowed at the flippant behavior Sirius was exhibiting.

"No. You'll just go freeze to death outside. Besides, I'm not dating Davis. I haven't been for almost a month now. He did get mad that I was doing nothing but watching over you so I told him to sod off. You're more important." The older boy gave a hollow laugh.

"**I'm** more important?! Remus do you even hear yourself? After this last year those were not the words I'd expect to hear from you. It's like a switch was flipped in your brain."

"You are and it wasn't a switch that was flipped. I just finally saw what I was doing to you. And no one hurts you Sirius. Not like this..." Astrid watched as a moment of deja vu hit her father. It sounded familiar to her too.

"Prongs said something like that to me once. That no matter what no one could physically hurt me without you retaliating. I thought he was nuts considering the circumstances."

"He's not wrong. Never really knew why but when someone would lay a hand on you I'd get angry. I realize why now but it amazes me that I took so long to notice." Curiosity got the better of him and Sirius asked without even thinking about it.

"Why?"

"Because of my wolf. It attached itself to you and when I saw you hurt, the wolf would rise up enraged and in turn make me angry too. Though I was upset all on my own too."

"You're wolf is attached to me?" Remus nodded, leaning back into his chair.

"Yep. Turns out it was a mutual addiction. You may have been addicted to me but I was addicted to you too. Ironically most of those turn out to be volatile." Sirius scrunched up his face in dislike.

"I don't like irony."

"Me either."

"...So you're really not dating Davis anymore?"

"Nope."

"And I'm the reason?"

"Yep."

"Huh..." Remus arched an eyebrow at Sirius.

"Huh?"

"Good." The scene changed and Astrid was in the boys dormitory once more. Sirius was sitting in the window, looking out at the snow covered ground. Remus had walked into the room with a grilled cheese sandwich.

"You being all introverted again Padfoot?"

"No, just thinking Remus." Astrid could see that her father had become used to eating whatever Remus offered him since he took the sandwich without complaint and ate it without a word. The werewolf was trying to put more weight back on his bones. He was succeeding too.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Calling me Remus. You keep calling me Remus." Sirius looked at his friend like he'd grown another head. Astrid idly wondered if that's what she looked like when she gave that look to James.

"That's your name."

"But that's not what you call me. You've never really called me Remus. It's always been Remmy or Rem or Moonster, Moons, Moony, and on one occasion Moonpie." Sirius smiled at the memory.

"I would've used it more if you hadn't threatened to hex my bits to bits if I ever dared call you it again."

"That's my point Padfoot! You don't call me Remus. So why do you keep doing it?" The question seemed to make Sirius really uncomfortable since he started to fidget for a moment before giving up and speaking his mind.

"Because you said that only friends can call you Moony and that I was no friend of yours."

"Sirius, I forgave you. I'm not mad at you anymore and we are friends. Moony was the nickname you gave me. You should be allowed to use it." It may have seemed like a little thing but Astrid could see it was a big thing to her father. His eyes filled with hope for the first time in good few memories.

"You mean it?" Remus laughed and ruffled Sirius's hair.

"Yes you daft mutt, of course I mean it." The scene changed once more to a study room somewhere in the castle. Sirius was sitting with Remus at a table doing homework.

"Hey Pads?"

"Hmm?"

"There's a Hogsmeade trip this weekend."

"Uh huh?"

"Want to go?"

"Sure." Sirius still hadn't looked up at Remus, even though the boy was staring intently at him instead of writing on his essay.

"With me."

"Duh."

"Just me."

"Ok."

"On a date." Sirius' hand stilled on his paper. He had to have heard wrong. The aristocratic boy looked up at his friend just to make sure.

"What?"

"Hogsmeade. You, me, date?"

"You're kidding." Astrid winced. That was not the right answer. The dejected look that Remus quickly hid told Sirius that too.

"You're not kidding?"

"No Sirius, I wasn't kidding. But never-"

"Yes!" The dark haired teen quickly interjected before the offer could be rescinded.

"Yes?"

"If you really meant it. A real proper date then my answer is yes." Remus smiled as he leaned in, placing a hand on the back of Sirius' neck.

"Brilliant." The memory faded as their lips met for the first time. Astrid was back in the pensieve room and found herself oddly satisfied with the way the memory chain ended this time. Seeing as this was the last one she would get to see for this year it was nice to end on a good memory. Sighing she left the room to go join James for the last bit of their final day before summer break. Man was she going to miss him. Summer sucked.

* * *

><p>It had been a whole year just about. There were constant voices in her head while she slept but Astrid hadn't had a dream in quite a while. She was almost getting used to not having them when on the first night of summer break she found herself pulled into one. The place hadn't changed a bit and neither had the alpha wolf. He was still sitting there, waiting for her.<p>

"You waited until I was away from my safety net you jerk."

"Did you figure it out? Do you know who I am yet?"

"No. Your files weren't with the others so I still have no idea who you are and I'm still not convinced I should. You are a mur-der-er. Do you get that? You are a vile creature so why should I care?" The wolf seemed less agitated this time around. Perhaps he had been practicing patience during the year he'd left her alone.

"Cub, listen to me. I killed 19 people for a reason. One that I still stand by to this day. You will get no remorse from me on that matter. If it comes with the label of murderer then so be it. But you will need me. I swear you will and I want to help but you need to set me free first."

"You? What happened to the pack you had?" The alpha shrugged.

"They've been disappearing lately. There's only me and Danila left. Russian wolf, bastard is hard to kill." Astrid stared at him in disbelief.

"Kill? You've been killing the wolves here?!"

"They're murderers, just like me. Why are you acting like I'm committing a great sin here? If it's only me I thought it would be easier for you to let me out and they were getting a bit too crazy for my liking, wanting to off you and such. I can't have that so they had to die." Just then another wolf came out of no where and tackled the alpha. He jumped back up immediately, aiming a hard punch into the much larger wolf's collarbone.

Astrid watched in fascination and mild terror as the two wolves fought. It was even worse then the worst fight between the wolves at home. These two were vicious and hell bent on winning. Survival was the goal and death was what they were aiming to give the opponent. The blonde prayed for the alpha to win, startling herself in the process. Since when she did she want either one to win? Great, now she was rooting for a mass murderer!

A feral growl and one more sickening crack later, the Russian wolf lay dead. The alpha was heaving as he stood over the corpse, blood soaking his hands from where he'd shoved his hands into Danila's neck and slammed him to the ground, snapping his neck.

The moment her eyes landed on it, Astrid understood. She didn't know his name, his story, or anything about him really, but she knew she would help him. He wanted to save her because they were connected. He wanted to protect her because he felt bound to her. And now Astrid knew why.

Because right there on his back, at his right hip, was a half set of teeth marks. A **bottom** set of teeth marks. An infection mark with a missing half...and she knew that missing half.

"You're the other wolf..."

* * *

><p><strong>An: Dun, dun, dun! Look at that! Another chapter and it had a lot of info. I may not post for a minute but it's only because I got a new house and am in the process of getting ready to move. So no worries if I don't post. Review please~ Click the button!<strong>


	11. Childhood Secrets

AN: I am SO sorry for the delay. I moved houses and then got to unpacking and lost my motivation. But I finally got this chapter down! Woohoo~ I apologize if it's a bit jumbled up. This chapter didn't want to work for me. Read and Review for my regardless though~

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I am a non owner of this amazing series.

* * *

><p>ch. 11 Childhood Secrets<p>

"I'm what?" The alpha looked at Astrid in confusion before looking down to what had caught her eye.

"You're the other wolf! T-the one from the file. His file!"

"Kid I'm not understanding. What file? Whose file?" Astrid shook her head and stepped forward with her arms bent at the elbow.

"Look. You want my help then I need yours. The files for this center, where are they? I need to find your file and I need it now. You're the other wolf. And the information on you is missing from his file. I have to know. You won't tell me so, files. Now." The alpha scratched his head for a moment in thought.

"I don't know if they'll still be there but the files for the wolves here were locked in the warden's office. It has a magic lock on it. Only someone who shares the blood of the warden can unlock the door." The alpha led her to the security center and to the office that was attached to it. Astrid looked at the wolf as he gestured to the door.

"There it is little one. And he was not a fun guy. Man loved to torture. If only I had been the one to kill him. I would've loved to have had Crabbe's blood running down my arm."

"You know that doesn't help you be less creepy, right? Wait, did you say Crabbe?"

"Yeah. Bastard threw his name around all the time. 'I'm Cornelius Crabbe! Do not test me!' Really hated him. Almost as much as those 19."

"Cornelius Crabbe? That's-...oh this sucks! I'm not actually here! Wow never thought I'd say that." That had the alpha smiling. It was comfortingly familiar and yet so disconcerting.

"What? Sad I can't touch you? Wait, that didn't sound right." The words didn't seem to sit well with the alpha. Such a strange sense of right and wrong that wolf.

"Ew. Thanks for that horrifying image. No, I meant I can't open the door because I'm not physically here." The wolf looked at the door, understanding dawning on his face.

"You're related to him, aren't you?"

"Sort of. My great-grandmother was Irma Black, her brother was Cornelius. So, yeah. I share his blood though I'm not a direct descendent. Maybe I could open it but I have to be here. Not just a mirage, vision, or whatever this is. Bloody hell. The MSLCF is at the Ministry. You do not make this easy wolf." The dark haired alpha gave her a toothy grin that reminded her disturbingly of Teddy.

"No one ever said it would be easy. But you do want my help." The facility factured for a moment. Someone was waking her up.

"Yeah, yeah. You keep saying that."

"If you don't want to help me then why are you?" The wolf blurred from Astrid's focus for a moment. She wasn't going to be able to stay any longer.

"Because I have to know!" The last word was what she woke up yelling as she bolted up from the bed. Lean arms grabbed hold of her almost instantly.

"Whoa. Easy mei-mei. Easy. You ok?"

"Yeah. I-I'm fine. What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming until next month." The currently bright green haired teen gave her a happy smile.

"Dad said I could kidnap you today since I'm going shopping for new clothes. Sirius thought you might like to join me."

"Go shopping for clothes?"

"In muggle London." Astrid's eyes went wide. She could go shopping for her own clothes? Natalie wouldn't be doing it this year? Sweet!

"Daddy said I could? Awesome! Let me get dressed. What time is it anyway?" Teddy turned to look at the nightstand.

"It's almost 11. I'll be downstairs with the 'rents. Lily said she made your 'usual' whatever that is." The blonde smiled and stood up, stretching her limbs as she did.

"It's my 'welcome back for the summer' breakfast. First morning I'm back she always makes waffles and blood sausage. Don't know why but she always does. I've just never questioned it."

"And here I thought you more of an omelet girl."

"That's Sundays." Teddy laughed as he left the room and allowed her to get dressed. Once they had eaten and Sirius had given her money they set off. Muggle London was immensely busy and so populated. Astrid had thought it was only like that during the holidays since it was busy at Christmas but no, that was just normal.

"Where are we going first?" The blonde linked her arm with her brother's as they headed toward the center of town.

"Well you grew a few inches so we definitely need to get you new jeans and shirts. Dad told me to take you to here first for unmentionables. Nat said your 'girls' needed better support." Oh. Well that did make sense. They were developing more and her bras weren't fitting right anymore. The ladies inside were very helpful in finding bras that fit and in styles that Astrid found herself quite happy with. After getting several sets she walked out to find Teddy holding out a frozen drink to her.

"Vanilla Chai tea blended to perfection. I wasn't really interested in it and then I stole some of Grams' thinking it was a chocolate shake. Once I realized it wasn't I tried it again because it definitely wasn't chocolate I found I really like them. Go on mei-mei." After the teen finally got her to try the drink, they set off for clothes. Jeans, shirts, a few skirts in Astrid's case, a couple pairs of shoes, and socks. The usual things. On the way home the blonde spotted something in a shop window and immediately stopped.

"Ooo...shiny. I want it!" Teddy looked up at the garment and shook his head. Of course Astrid would want a leather jacket. Like father, like daughter.

"You don't have enough left As."

"Sure I do! I have to have enough Teddy, it's calling me. Look at it! It's even made for a woman. Come on. How me...I needs it."

"You 'needs' it?" The amusement in his voice did not go unnoticed. Astrid quickly turned around and glared at him.

"Yes! I have to have it. Please, please, please, please, please!" Teddy looked down at his sister, his hair slowly changing to dusty purple. Astrid didn't beg for anything and if she wanted it bad enough to then the least they could do was see about it.

"Alright. If I have enough left to cover the difference then we'll get the jacket." The delighted look on her face was enough to be worth it. Sadly though, it wasn't enough. They were still 20 euros short. It was an expensive jacket. Though he had to admit, it fit the blonde like a glove.

"Sorry we couldn't get it for you. I tried." Astrid shrugged as they walked home.

"It's alright. Thank you for trying Teddy. Today was fun. You staying for dinner?" Teddy helped her get the bags inside and shook his head.

"No, Mrs. Weasley is having a party and my attendance is 'non negotiable.' You'd swear I was her own kid and not a family friend."

"To Molly you are like her own. She adopts everyone. Did you two have fun today?"

"Sure did Dad~ Though I saw this to-die-for leather jacket that I wanted but we didn't have enough." Remus shook his head as he gave her a hug.

"You are so your father's daughter. Do you have to leave right now Teddy?"

"Yeah, the party started about half an hour ago. I'll come back soon though. Love you guys. Tell Sirius I said hey." The teen headed out the door but Astrid was quick to follow.

"Hey Teddy? Are you planning on going to the Ministry anytime soon?" The blue haired Gryffindor stopped for a moment.

"For Werewolf Registration, yeah...whhyyy?"

"Always so suspicious. I wanted to go, you know, see the Ministry and what not. Wait. Why are you registering? You don't transform."

"Well, no but you've been telling me for years I am a wolf and having seen what you live around I'm not taking the chance of one day hurting someone and getting in trouble. Besides, Dad was so I am allowed to register under a legacy as a precautionary measure. It doesn't effect me or anything but it gives a heads up in case the lycan-gene ever does come out. And yes, when it comes to you it's better to be suspicious then caught off guard." Teddy gave her one last hug and headed down the steps.

"So you'll come get me then?" The boy didn't even turn around to answer but Astrid could hear the smile in his voice.

"You already know I will!"

* * *

><p>"Hey Daddy?" Sirius looked up from the papers he was going over at Astrid.<p>

"What is it sweetie?"

"I was just wondering...what do you know about Dad's childhood?" The Ravenclaw moved to sit in the vacant chair next to her father as he thought for a moment.

"Just about everything I suppose. We grew up together after all, what did you want to know?"

"No, I meant when he was little. Before Hogwarts. What do you know about that time." Sirius frowned at his daughter. She had been asking weirder and weirder questions lately and about an increasingly small area of topic.

"Why are you so fixated on your father's past? What's got that curiosity up?" Astrid fidgeted under the observant gaze. It wasn't like she could lie to him very well. Sirius was incredibly skilled at picking out lies. The only one that could lie accurately to the man was Remus.

"It's his mark. He got when he was five and it's only half a mark. When I asked about it he said something was in the way. His file said he had a serious connection to another wolf but the file doesn't say anything else and when I asked about it he just shut me-"

"Wait, wait, wait a minute. You looked at his file? His file for **this** facility?" Astrid slowly nodded. Why did it feel like she was in trouble? Sirius sighed and rubbed his face for a moment.

"Cub, you can't just go about reading people's files like that. It's like reading a bit of someone's diary. Those files have information on them that is private."

"Well I didn't know it was his when I started reading it. But it said he had a serious connection-"

"And he shut you down when you asked. Astrid that doesn't mean you come ask me. If he didn't want you to know then that's that. Besides I don't even know. Your father never talked about his past before Hogwarts. It was lonely for him and a lot of it was spent here. He didn't want to talk and I was ok with that. Believe me. There are things from my childhood that Remus doesn't know and I will fight tooth and nail to keep it that way." Astrid pulled her legs up into the chair and rested her head on her knees in thought. How peculiar.

"But you two are mates. Shouldn't there be no secrets between you?" Sirius gave her a wry smile.

"They aren't secrets really. I didn't pry into his past and he didn't pry into mine. We accept and love each other as is, knowing the other's past won't change that. If it was important enough we'd share it. **In** our own time. If Remus doesn't want to talk about Astrid then leave it alone. If you're meant to know then you will learn about it at the right time and not a moment before. Now how about helping me with these reports?" Sighing, the girl took a few of the papers from her father and started working on them with him. She couldn't help but wonder though if what Sirius was hiding in his past had anything to do with what Regulus had alluded to in the penseive memories. Astrid made a silent vow to find out what it was that they so desperately wanted to keep hidden.

* * *

><p>"So this is the Ministry?" It was bigger then she had originally thought. This place was downright huge. There were people buzzing about everywhere and the blonde didn't know where to look first.<p>

"Yep. Come on. I've got to go to the registration office." Teddy led the way to the elevators. Thankfully, he knew where he was going.

"That's in the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures right?" At her brother's nod, Astrid started to fidget a little. Magical creatures could smell her. They would know instantly that something was off with her and that she wasn't human. After all, the Werewolf Registry was in the Beast Division of the Department.

"Um...I may just wait outside."

"And leave you the opportunity to sneak away for whatever reason you wanted to come today? Not a chance mei-mei. I'm making sure you stick to me. If you want to do whatever it is you're planning on doing, you're doing it with me. No if, ands, or buts." The elevator doors stopped at the Department they needed. The place wasn't that busy but all the other creatures turned to look at them as they passed.

The Beast Division wasn't that hard to find. Neither was the Registry. All in all it was a very easy process. The people were nice to Teddy and didn't have an ounce of judgement toward him. Perhaps Harry Potter had been making progress with werewolf relations.

"Thank you Mister Lupin. Is there anything else we could help you with today?"

"Actually there is." The two men at the desk turned to look at her. Teddy closed his eyes in resignation. He knew there had been a catch to her coming today.

"Do you guys know anything about Cornelius Crabbe? He used to work in the Ministry and I'm supposed to read up on a member of my family tree. Given how infamous most of them are I was going to do one on an upstanding Ministry worker instead. Thing is, I can't find anything on him." The older of the two men raised an eyebrow at her.

"A school project?"

"Yeah, summer project. Professor Binns stepped out of his monotone comfort zone and gave an assignment to do over the holidays. Something to do with 'knowing your roots' and 'your family is part of the history of magic'. I rebelled against it but McGonagall nipped that in the bud so I have to do it."

"What about muggleborns? They don't have any magical lineage."

"Oh don't get me started. The lucky twots get to write their report on a prominent figure in history. **They** don't have to trek down their family tree and try to find someone that doesn't have blood soaked hands. Do you have any idea how hard that is coming from a dark arts supporting family? It's a bloody nightmare. But-I'm doing it. It's not like I can threaten my academic record because I disagree. If I did that I would barely be passing History of Magic, let alone getting an O." The lie pacified the man. Funny how she could come up with them so easily when against other people but against her father? Not even a chance and sometimes it really frustrated her.

"Well, if you are looking for non-dark arts then Cornelius Crabbe is not the guy for you to write about. Guy was as dirty as the rest of them.

"What? Why?" The older wizard sighed and motioned for Teddy and Astrid to follow him. He led them through a series of doors until they stopped at a large white door. The older teen took a step back.

"Silver...why would the Ministry have a door made of silver in the Werewolf Registry?"

"To keep werewolves out. Or I should say in. This was the old Lycan Containment Facility. Maxium Security. In there were the worst of the worst. By all rights they should have been 'put down' as Cornelius used to say but for some reason or another they were kept alive. That is until the place was shut down. The Ministry flooded the place with silver gas and killed the wolves inside. It was easier then pulling them out of their cells. Been locked up ever since." Teddy looked at the wizard in confusion.

"But what does this have to do with Cornelius Crabbe?"

"He was the warden of the facility. He asked for the job. The things he would do to them...even if they were damned souls and murdering wretches, no one deserves what he did to them. Had a liking to one in particular. This little kid. Never did understand why he was in there but Crabbe took a special shine to him and would-well it's best I don't say. He ran the facility until it's closing. Day before the gas was filtered in Crabbe was murdered in his home. They never did find the killer either but when the wolves in there were told they all said the same thing. 'Now I can die in peace.' Really creeped me out." Astrid turned her head to face the wizard. She had been trying to figure out how to get passed the door.

"You were there?" The old man nodded slowly.

"Indeed. I started at the Ministry working in that place. Still have nightmares about it sometimes. Trust me kid, find someone else in your family tree to write about. Cornelius was as dark as they come." The man started to walk away, assured in the fact that they couldn't open the door and could get back out to the main room. Once he was gone Teddy immediately turned to Astrid.

"What are you up to? Binns never gave out an assignment for the summer. Why did you want to know all that?"

"I didn't. I needed to know where this place was. I knew Cornelius was the warden here and if I spun the right amount of information to the man he'd lead me here. The moment I mentioned Crabbe's name he stiffened. He knew who he was so I had to take a chance. Old wizards are so easy to fool when you look like an innocent Ravenclaw just wanting to do her assignment." The blue haired teen snorted at her words.

"And you are definitely not that. Those big blue eyes of yours deceive people into helping you. So how are you going to get passed the door genius? Neither one of us can touch it."

"Well I can't. Vampires are just as allergic to silver as wolves but your wolf hasn't matured yet has it? You could open it." Her brother seemed to hesitate before he moved to open the door. The magical locks took some working around but after a few minutes Teddy finally got them undone. Astrid grinned.

"Got to love you being of age."

"What are you looking for in here?"

"Papers."

"Come on Astrid don't lie to me. Really, what are you looking for? Because I'm not going to have you possibly risking both our lives for a fool-hardy adventure."

"I'm not lying Teddy. You know the files I was pouring over awhile back? Well there are some missing and the missing ones are in here. I need those files. I have to know. Please..." Teddy looked at the door again before setting his eyes on Astrid.

"Fine. But! One sign of trouble and I'm dragging you out of there. Understand?" She quickly nodded and he opened the door. There were stairs that led downward and once at the bottom Astrid knew instantly where she was. It was where she always popped up at in her dreams. Danila had been moved but the there was a dried blood stain on the floor from where he'd been killed.

"Alpha? Alpha you here?"

"Mei-mei who are you calling?"

"The alpha wolf of this facility. He's a hell hound now, like those at home. I'm here to find his file. I have to know..."

"Astrid are you out of your mind!? The wolves here are the worst of the worst remember?" Teddy had grabbed her arms and turned her to look at him, trying to make her see the craziness of her endeavor.

"Yes I know. He's killed 19 people. Won't tell me why but he says he has a good reason. Believe me it took him years to get me here. But his mark...Teddy I can't just let this go. I have to know who he is. He won't hurt me. Hell, he killed all the other wolves here to keep me safe. Please, just let me do this."

"You're here? Y-you're actually here? And with more kin! How did you ever find more?" Teddy turned quickly to shield Astrid from the dark haired stranger that had snuck up on them.

"It's ok Teddy. This is the alpha. Door. Now."

"My, my. You're as bossy in real life as you are in dreams. Right this way." He turned on his heel and headed back to the office that had been locked for years.

"Here you go. Just, please don't get killed kid." Teddy, though still apprehensive about the alpha, nodded in agreement.

"You two worry too much." Astrid moved toward the warden's door, feeling the magical lock respond to her presence.

"No, I think I worry the right amount. You just have a lack of self preservation. Not a step closer wolf." The alpha had been inching closer to his sister and Teddy was not about to have it. Murderer or not, he had magic on his side and wouldn't hesitate to take him down if need be. There was an outward blast of magic as the lock unsealed. The pair turned to find blonde hair disappearing behind the door.

Astrid quickly moved about the room looking for the illusive files that held the answers she so desperately sought. They were in the bottom drawer of the locked desk but blood locks were nothing to her in this case. Quickly the teen pulled them out and sat down at the desk to look them over

"There's only 22 files here." She glanced up at the boys in the doorway. Where were the other files?

"There were only 22 of us here cub. Number 13 is the one you're looking for. I was inmate 13." Finally some useful information!

**Inmate 13**

Sex: Male

Hair: Dark brown, almost black

Eyes: Blue

Height: 3'3"

Age: 5

Mate: No*

LCF: London - Maximum Security

Infection mark: Right hip, half a bite mark on back side.

Behavior Overview: Highly aggressive and volatile. Will lash out and bite anyone within distance. DO NOT OPEN CELL DOOR OR INTERACT WITH WOLF!

*No mate but has strong connection to another wolf. See inmate's admission file.

This was it. This was what Astrid had been waiting for. She turned the page to find the papers that had been missing from the other file.

Romulus Jacob Lupin is a small child who was bitten by the werewolf Greyback at the age of five in an attack that infected him and another boy. During the first full moon transformation after his infection, he turned earlier then moonrise and proceeded to hunt down and kill several, 18 in total, people of varying age around town. 15 of them were children. His last and 19th kill was that of his own sister, Carina aged 9, when she jumped to the defense of her younger brother. It is believed the boy she had been defending would have been killed as well had it not been for the quick action of John Lupin, Romulus' father, taking him down and securing him until authorities got there.

Both wolves on the scene were taken into custody. It has been heard on many occasions that Romulus would happily kill both his parents and make them '20 and 21'. Remus John Lupin, twin to Romulus, is now at the Underage Lycan Containment Facility. It is not known whether Remus had anything to do with his brother's murders but the boy was visibly shaken by the ordeal and no longer acknowledges he has a brother.

UPDATE:

Romulus Lupin has since been labeled a psychopathic murderer and is only alive due to his connection to his brother and the fact it would cause a severe magical backlash onto Remus, who has been cleared of all involvement in the killings committed by Romulus. For the safety of the innocent wolf, the guilty is being kept alive until such time of maturity or Remus becomes unbound to Romulus.

"Twin...you're his twin." The alpha smiled and nodded slowly.

"Eight minutes older." Teddy looked between the two in confusion.

"What are you talking about? Astrid?"

"The alpha. He's our uncle. That's Romulus Lupin, older twin of Remus. Dad had a brother. And a sister! Aunt Carina...who you killed. Why? She was a kid! Why would you kill her?!" Astrid remembered the pain and sorrow in her father's eyes when he talked about Carina. It had killed him to talk about it and this man had caused that pain. But Romulus didn't seem that happy either.

"She got in the way! She was stupid and tried to keep me away from him. **No one** was going to keep me from him."

"Dad? This is all about Dad?"

"Yeah. And the fact that this man was bitten at the same time as Dad. He also killed 19 people on the first full moon after infection and one of them was our Aunt Carina. And it was because she got between you and Dad? She was your SISTER!"

"She knew better! It was her own damn fault...and I've spent years wanting to explain that to him. He's been ignoring my existence a very long time though. If there is one thing Remus can do it's hold a grudge." Astrid grumbled to herself as she ran a hand through he hair.

"Tell me about it. Alright Romulus. Here's the deal. I'm taking you with me. But if you **dare** step one foot out of line I will kill you myself. You're a murdering dead wolf and I have no qualms about making you suffer if you even think of hurting any of my family. Are we clear?" The dark haired wolf looked at her hand, the magic was radiating off of her.

"A binding oath? I told you cub I had a reason why I did what I did. But fine. Deal."

"Astrid are you sure about this?" Teddy looked like he was on high alert for danger. Truth was he probably needed to be. She hadn't wanted to drag him into this but he had refused to leave her side. Once the promise had been made Astrid had Teddy apparate them home. She just hoped this didn't end in bloodshed. Her father was not going to take this well.

* * *

><p><strong>An: Another chapter down! Alrighty~ Hoped you guys liked it and please please please review. They lift my spirits up. Also I have a wolfstar AU if you guys want to check it out. It's called Ancient Ties. I'd love reviews on that one too.<strong>

**I may be a bit sporadic in updates since I'm going to a convention tomorrow and after I get back I'm starting a new job so my time will be limited in when I can write. Please forgive any future delays. I will try not to take so long.**


	12. Reasons for Insanity

**An: **Is this an update!? Dear sweet Merlin I believe it is! I realize my updates are very sporadic and I'm sorry for that. Thank you guys for continuing to put up with it and stay with the story. I really do appreciate it. I'll be working on my other two wolfstars this week so hopefully they'll get updated soon as well. For now, here's this one~

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

><p><strong>Reasons for Insanity<strong>

"What are we doing here?" Romulus looked around the room Astrid had led him to. Teddy was still standing between them, not trusting the other wolf to keep away from her.

"This is one of the observation rooms. I'm putting you in here for your protection and for the protection of the wolves out there. They don't like strangers and knowing how Dad feels about you, well, they'll want to attack you on principle." The dark haired wolf chuckled and shook his head a little.

"He's alpha here."

"Yes, and I wouldn't challenge him on that. Merrick will kick your ass if you try. Or Daddy."

"Is Merrick the beta?"

"No, Daddy is. Although technically he's not supposed to be because he's not a wolf. But he is a dog and has been Dad's beta since they were at Hogwarts together. Merrick however is just under Daddy and he won't hesitate to defend his pack." Romulus nodded as Astrid left to get her parents and somehow convince her fathers not to go off the deep end with this. That alone was a task she wasn't sure she was going to be able to complete. Teddy remained at the entrance of the room to watch the wolf and make sure nothing happened.

"Hey Dad? Daddy?" The pair were in the rec area playing chess when Astrid found them. Sirius looked up and frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Well you may not like it...actually you won't like it all but I had to do it and you're probably going to be mad but I'm begging you to hear me out on this and listen to what he has to say before you order his execution or something but I really don't think you want to do that considering his bond but he can't go back to where he was because it was hard enough getting him out and-" Remus grabbed hold of his rambling daughter. There was a slight panic in her eyes and it honestly worried him greatly.

"Whoa cub, easy. What did you do?" Astrid glanced at the doorway before looking back at her father. This was a lot harder then she had thought it was going to be. But then again, when did plans that looked easy ever go smoothly? Remus understood instantly what she was trying to say without words.

"Show me." The teen slowly took both her parents to where Teddy was guarding Romulus. Sirius didn't understand but Remus immediately recognized the evil from his nightmares.

"You. How did you-I don't even want to know. I swear if you have hurt my children in any way I won't hesitate to kill you. Not this time."

"You look good...mated I see. Though, the boy doesn't smell like your mate. He's someone else's child. She smells like your mate but he doesn't. Why is that? They are so close in age yet my dear peu vie jeune fille is the only child of your mate. But she said her parents had been together since they were teens...you've been mated a long time Remmy. So doesn't your first born smell like him? And how is she even alive if you're both the parents?"

"That's none of your concern. Who the hell are you?" The new wolf concerned Sirius. Clearly he knew a lot of his family yet Sirius knew nothing of him. That had to be fixed, especially with the way his mate was acting with this new wolf.

"I'm someone very important from Remus' past. Sad that he never mentioned me to you. You are his mate after all, shouldn't you know about me? Oh well, you'll know soon enough. I am curious to see your son's mate though. Their scent is all over the boy. Smells sweet too. Have you not noticed?"

"Teddy isn't a wolf. He's free of the virus."

"And who told you that brother? It's pretty clear from his behavior he has one waking inside him. Your daughter sensed it ages ago...why haven't you? Are you afraid to know? He'll be different Remmy. Born wolves always are. My guess is he hasn't had a transformation yet but he's definitely awakened the wolf. He wouldn't be mated otherwise."

"Shut up! Teddy isn't a wolf! Why the hell are you here? Are you the one that's been haunting my daughter? Romulus if you are-" Remus really wasn't taking this well. Not that she really expected him to. Still, they needed to stop arguing or they'd never get to the reason Romulus was there. Let alone to the part with him explaining why he did the things he had done.

"Dad please...just hear him out. He says I'll need his help with what's happening to me. Maybe he can help. He's meant to be here regardless since he turned into a hellhound in the MSLCF. He's connected to you whether you like it or not so please, just listen." Sirius moved to where Teddy was and took his place. At the very least he wasn't about to let his kids get hurt. Teddy may not have been biologically his but he was still family and as good as a son to him. Romulus however immediately trained his eyes on him. The growl from behind him told Sirius that Remus was giving a warning. That was the only one this wolf would get too.

"Darkness in you."

"You are far more dark then he could ever be Romulus."

"He reeks of it. Darkness has been in him. Touched him. That's a darkness I know. Did you scream when it burned through you? So much of it will leave it's mark. Some go insane, others die from the pain. Then there are those like you, like me, that adapt. You had to have had it a lot for the scent of it to still be there after so long. It doesn't surprise me that dear Remus never noticed. He'd have to have had that treatment to sense it properly. Oh but I have. I know that curse...who did it to you?" Astrid watched her father stiffen. What curse? What the hell was her uncle talking about?

"Don't you dare. If it wasn't for my kids you'd be dead already. Don't you dare talk about things you know nothing about." Sirius practically hissed at the man. He never hissed like that. Even Remus stopped to look at him.

"Was it your parents? You come from a dark family I wouldn't be surprised. A cousin perhaps? An uncle? A brother?"

"Romulus stop it!" Astrid's call fell on deaf ears. The wolf knew something and seemed to be having fun with the information.

"Who caused you such pain? It's a very unpleasant curse you know. I can't imagine you allowing it to happen if you had a choice." Sirius was seething and ready to lunge at the wolf when Merrick appeared in the hallway.

"What's all the shouting over here? Who is...that? Hi." The tension in the air shifted from hostile to desire. Sirius stepped back as Merrick came closer with a look of hunger and delight in his eyes. He knew that look from Remus. This day had gone far beyond out of control now. Romulus grinned at the other wolf.

"Hello there. What's your name?"

"Merrick. Yours?" Remus started to warn his friend as he stepped inside the room with his brother but then an incident long ago flashed in his mind and it all clicked into place.

"Romulus."

"The other wolf twin?"

"You knew Remus was a twin?" Merrick shook his head as Romulus touched his arm.

"The wolf twins of Rome. Remus and Romulus. Wait, Remus has a twin?" The dark haired man nodded as his other hand found the shorter wolf's waist.

"Yes." Arms wound themselves around Romulus' neck as a grin played on his lips.

"That explains so much with me and him. Finally, it makes sense." Sirius turned to Remus with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"What just happened?"

"They're mates apparently. It's rare for the bond to be there without them meeting but that's exactly what that is. It's why he used to attack me as a kid. He thought I was his mate. It was Romulus; twins' scents can sometimes be confused for each other." Teddy moved over to them with Astrid and sighed.

"So what do we do with him now? He said he wanted to explain to you what happened all those years ago Dad. He wouldn't tell anyone else but he says he'll tell you."

"I will Remus. If you will listen, I'll tell you." Romulus had turned away from Merrick to look at his brother again. He really did want to explain to him.

"Listen to what? How you murdered people in town and then came after me but Carina got in the way and you killed her instead?"

"I was protecting you!"

"By killing my friends and family?! **Our** family!" Remus was getting agitated again. If it wasn't for Sirius and Merrick standing between the brothers they probably would've been at each other's throats fighting, which was not something the younger Lupin ever condoned.

"They were bullies! They were mean and rude to you. They **hurt** you! You would come home crying because of what they did. They had to pay for hurting you. I was **defending** you! As an older brother should."

"Not with their lives! And Carina never once hurt me."

"She got in the way! I wanted you. I had to protect you and she got in the way of me getting to you! I never meant to kill her...she just got in the way. She should have known better." Remus growled low in his throat. He wasn't going to let the wolf from his nightmares get away with what he did. Not anymore.

"You're going to die today. I won't have you here, threatening my family and pack. It's not happening."

"You can't! Remus he's my mate, you can't kill him. I've been waiting for him for a very long time. Even when we were kids I knew. I thought it was you but it's him. He's your twin and you smell alike. Remus stop! I won't let you kill him!"

"I can't have him here Merrick! He's so dangerous, you don't know." Merrick was standing in front of Romulus, not allowing his alpha to get at his mate. Astrid knew this wasn't going to end well if they didn't do something quick. It hit her what to do just as Remus reached where Merrick was with Romulus.

"Unbreakable vow!" Five pairs of eyes turned to her. At least it kept them from killing each other.

"What?"

"Make him take an Unbreakable Vow. That way you know Romulus can't hurt anyone here and he really could be an asset Dad. Give him a chance. He wouldn't have bugged me so much if he wasn't useful somehow. Please, Dad." Logically, it was the best choice given the circumstances but Remus hated his brother. Anger only led to dark places though and he knew it. With a frustrated sigh the man turned back and held out his hand to his brother.

"Unbreakable Vow then. You better thank my daughter for your life Rom."

"I already have. She's quite remarkable I must say."

"You swear no harm will come to anyone in my pack, which includes my family and all wolves here." Remus held out his hand for Romulus to hold and shake while Sirius moved to weave the magic that was binding the oath.

"I swear."

"You swear to harm no one who comes into this house as a guest, creatures included." The older twin nodded and shook Remus' hand a second time.

"I swear."

"You swear these things not on your life but the life of your mate and your magic. If you should break these vows you will lose your magic and your mate, Merrick, will forfeit his life." A hard look came across Romulus' face but it was more determination then anger. He understood what his brother was doing but somehow he thought maybe Remus wouldn't have had to go the extra measure to ensure he didn't break his vow.

"I swear." Their hands shook a third time and the magic coiled around their wrists, seeping in and solidifying the Unbreakable Vow. Astrid cleared her throat.

"Well now that that's over what do you guys say to some dinner? My stomach is trying to eat itself by now."

* * *

><p>Astrid found her father later that week in the control room again. She wasn't really sure what it was she was asking but there was something that Romulus had said that stuck with her. Something she felt she already partially knew about and just couldn't remember.<p>

"Hey Daddy?"

"I thought you were spending the day with Lily." The blonde moved to sit in the chair next to him, having a strong sense of deja vu. This situation seemed to happen a lot.

"It's about what Romulus said the other day. About you having darkness." Sirius stopped and turned to look at his daughter.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"But he's not wrong Daddy. I see it sometimes. It's like a stain on your aura that you just can't shake. He said it was from a curse."

"Astrid..."

"Is it because of the veil? You died when you went through and bodies aren't supposed to cross over. Is that why?" The man looked like he wanted to agree and say that was it but lying was never a good policy to use. So instead of taking the easy way out he shook his head.

"No, baby-doll, it's not why. That stain has been there a long time."

"Does Dad know about it? He looked just as confused as I was."

"No, your father doesn't know and I want it to stay that way. Look how he reacted when his own secret came out. How do you think he'd react to mine?"

"I don't know. Romulus did horrid, awful things. I don't think whatever it is that you're hiding is bad enough for Dad to get that mad." Sirius snorted.

"Clearly you haven't seen him when it's me that's threatened." Oh but she had, or at the very least she had heard about it.

"Well James said that nobody can hurt you without Dad coming unglued. That he would hurt whoever it was that hurt you. At least physically."

"Exactly...he wouldn't take it well. Especially given how long ago this happened. Just leave this alone Astrid. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. Leave it. I know you're curious and you have an insatiable thirst for knowledge but this one you don't want to know. Trust me." Sirius was trying to end the conversation there but Astrid wasn't done yet. The gears in her mind started turning as she thought more on it. There was something she wasn't getting and she was so close.

"But how could something that bad happen without Dad knowing? Unless he wasn't around for it...but Dad was there all the time. He was there from when you were 11 up. Except in the summer and he wasn't there before Hogw-"

_"I pay attention Siri. You've still got a hand tremor...I begged him to stop."_

_"I could have taken it instead of you! You always take it Sirius even if I'm to blame."_

_"I've taken it all these years, I'm not going to stop now." _

_"I know what you've gone through for him but he doesn't.."_

_"...doesn't hold a candle to what you've done...no idea what happens within the House of Black..."_

_"...have any idea what Sirius has gone through just to stay your friend?"_

_"...shit he gets from his family..."_

_"Darkness inside you. Touched you."_

_"Painful curse...dark family...parents? Or a cousin? An uncle? A brother?"_

_Protecting Regulus from 'punishment'. Tremors in his hand. A dark, painful curse...  
><em>

The Black family were known to love the dark arts and Astrid had read up on a certain set of dark arts spells. One came with side effects of tremors even after the spell had worn off, insanity, and in rare cases death. It would definitely be one that Sirius would protect his brother from and definitely one he wouldn't want Remus knowing he had felt first hand from people who were supposed to love and care for him. She knew her family was psychotic and insane and evil but she didn't know it was that bad. Perhaps the crazy that ran through her family wasn't genetic but spell inflicted.

"James knows. James knows and Dad doesn't." There was panic in Sirius' eyes when he looked back at his daughter. Her mind worked way too well for his liking sometimes.

"James knows because he's mentioned it before. The things you've done to stay Dad's friend. And uncle Regulus kept saying that a few days of pain from the full moon was nothing compared to what you endured within the House of Black."

"Astrid-"

"The agitation when coming back from home, the tremors that you couldn't stop or seem to shake, the darkness around you. Romulus said you had to have felt it to smell that darkness. He knew what it was too. He said it gets inside you and burns through you. He asked if you screamed." Sirius really was panicking now but Astrid had figured it out. She knew his dark secret now and honestly she wanted to kill Orion and Walburga Black herself for what they did.

"Astrid stop-"

"The Crutiatus Curse. They used it on you as punishment. That's why you always took uncle Regulus'. You were protecting him from that. It explains the hand tremors and the darkness and why you desperately don't want Dad to know. He would blow a gasket if he knew what they did to you. Does James know because of when you ran away? Lily told me once she learned to be a healer from Dorea Potter so she must have figured out what was happening to you. Is that why he knows?"

"Astrid!" His yell stopped her in her tracks. She hadn't meant to upset him. It just all of a sudden fell into place for her. All the missing pieces of information that put the puzzle together. Sirius was upset though and she didn't want that.

"Sorry..."

"How do you know all those things? About Regulus and how I acted when I got back from home? How did you know?" Oh crap...

"I heard about it. Hogwarts has a way of showing people what they want to see. I'm sorry Daddy. For what they did, I'm sorry." The blonde moved forward and wrapped her arms around her father. She really had spooked him.

"I-It's ok. Just don't tell your father. I really don't need him seething angry with no one to take it out on."

"I won't. But you should Daddy. Romulus knows and he may decide to tell Dad since he knows he doesn't know." Sirius held her close as he nodded his head.

"I know...I know."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe this is my last year."<p>

"I know right? Whatever will James and I do without Teddy Lupin looking after us?"

"Blow up Hogwarts most likely." Astrid snorted as she stepped onto the platform with her brother right behind her.

"I would not."

"Dragons Astrid. You transfigured the dragon statues to make them real dragons. Hogwarts, poof. No more. Goodbye school that has stood for a thousand years of students, pranksters, and wars. You have met your doom with this one." The fifth year rolled her eyes.

"You are being over dramatic Mr. Head Boy."

"I actually feel I'm being the right amount of dramatic. Here you are, the gang's inside. I'm heading up to the front train car. Behave mei-mei." Astrid saluted the seventh year as he headed out. Within seconds there was a set of hands on her hips pulling her down into a lap.

"As! How's my favorite eagle?" James. The flutter in her chest let her know that the crush was still there and as strong as ever. She grinned at him and threw her arms around his neck.

"Jamie! I'm good. The hols were crazy but everything's good now. You ready for our OWLs year?" The eldest Potter scrunched up his nose.

"No, but I bet you are. You are very much a Ravenclaw despite how amazing you look in Gryffindor colors."

"I absorb information like a sponge. What can I say? How were the rest of your summers?" The conversation flowed from there and Astrid found herself happily staying in James' lap, snuggling into the myrrh-smelling boy. Teddy found them still in that position when he returned from his meeting in the first train car.

Despite the crazy summer, Astrid had a feeling the coming year would be amazing. Or maybe that was just because she sitting in James' arms all day.

* * *

><p><strong>An:<strong> There you guys have it! Another chapter down. Next chapter is fifth year and we know from experience how defining those can be for a Hogwarts student. I'll get working on it as soon as I'm able. Please click down below and review for me. Let me know what you guys think of my story. Also if you like wolfstar I have two other MCs and a couple oneshots. Or if you want more of a variety of wolfstar you could check out **NeonDomino**. She has amazing stuff and ton of wolfstar along with other pairing stories. Seriously, go check her out.


End file.
